;x OURPROMISE// Holdmyhand :DD x;

Friday, April 18

Finally friday is here again. Although it doesnt necessarily mark the end of going to school in this week(there is Chem SPA tmr...), Im still glad that it came. At least it gives me a few moments to slow down and breathe(not that my pace has been fast or anything...it just helps me to relax more)

Lessons today practically zoomed by. Even I have no idea why-boring lessons aint supposed to go fast, they're meant to be so slow that you're induced to sleep. Perhaps it went fast because I really did fall asleep. Econs lecture in the hall was the best. I couldnt see the teacher and the teacher couldnt see me. So i had the luxury of catching a hundred winks. Maths lecture was harder to fall asleep but I managed it anyway. Im getting better at this I realised.

I suppose all that sleep in the lectures did me a hell lot of good, since I didnt feel tired during econs at all. Not that it really matters though, me falling asleep and all. Because just the previous day, Ms Lee asked me a question just when I was about to completely doze off. I thought she could see that my mind was really wandering off and thats why she called me to answer her question. So I had no qualms about asking her to repeat her question.

She looked so surprised when I asked that. "Repeat the question ah? I thought you looked so attentive!"

ERPS.

Right. I look attentive when my eyes were gonna shut off any second. Then what do I look like when Im wide awake? Intensely staring at her and her notes? Wouldnt I look like some stalker then? Ah wells, no wonder my sister says that she can never tell when Im sleeping and when Im not. I've perfected the skill of sleeping with my eyes open. Like a goldfish.

Ah wells, Ms lee's statement has clearly proven that I do have an advantage over the rest of the students-I get to sleep without teachers knowing AND they think I look attentive! Yessss GP, here I come! No need to try masking already:)

GP today was all copying non stop again. And chew yan was being as lame as ever. Mr Ducro was commenting on the irony of something related to the gold industry when chewy muttered to me, "Its not the iron industry what...so should be goldy.."

Me: Stun

Me: Laughs!!

Gosh that was so lame. Which reminds me of how when I said I was just kidding, she promptly shot back, Im adulting.

HA. HA. Seriously, just How does she think up of all that?

I wonder what Ducro's reaction would be if he hears that. He did try to find out from us the source of my laughter though, but somehow message didnt get through to him.

After school me and Kejia, having plenty of time to spare before Econs consultation starts, decided to be good souls and escort jessica out of school. When we walked her to the gate, all randomness burst free from us. We made up a mock scenario whereby we own NJ(I wish! then can sell the plot of land for a lot of money!) and everyone around were our guests or something.

The security guards were hired by us-they didnt do such a good job though, letting so many weirdos in without our consent!

Basketballers were paid to play for our entertainment.

Chewyan became Maria our maid-she was so clueless about why we were laughing so much but being such a good sport, she played along with us.

And then I remembered what kejia and jessica were discussing about pulling up the grass from the sythetic field so i decided to try, just to see what happened. Cautiously and sneakily, I walked over to the corner of the field and just pulled up the grass! Truth behold! The whole corner part of the field just got lifted up by me-It was as if the whole field was just a carpet! So cool! I never knew. Thankfully, the field reverted back to its original self after I let go AND there were no witnesses around to testify against me so Im a free man!

Econs consultation was one big joke altogether. Before ms lee came we spotted ms Lim and then we lied to her that we were waiting for her to teach us chem. Ms Lim was so cute. Her eyes just went wide and she kept exclaiming, "where got??" and at the same time helped herself to the snacks on the table. She's just about the cutest teacher ever mann. Then ms lee came and in her haste to leave, ms Lim dropped her phone and she was like, ahhhh my phone!

I think Ms lee thinks we are crazy after the consultation. Especially towards my darling owner. Seriously, she just kept laughing at ms lee. Well it seemed like she was laughing AT her, but wen mei later clarified that she was laughing for no apparent reason, just a laughing fit. Hmmm, isnt that scarier then? Laughing for no reason...No wonder she likes to feed me grass so much, and candles! Omg she's mental.

Anyway, Ms Lee shot yiwen quite a lot of those incredulous and "I think you are weird" looks throughout. The most obvious one was when yiwen started to doodle on my workbook by drawing a smiley face. Then Ms lee was like staring at it in disgust and asking, "What's that?"

******

For a moment yesterday I wondered why Ah Hao in Life Made Simple got so frustrated when she found out that Ah Bin liked her. I was thinking, why was she so unhappy when he confessed his like for her? Shouldnt she be over the moon after wanting to get married for so long? Then her next sentence enlightened me, "Im so ugly why would anyone like me?"

Inferiority.

Yes I suppose I can understand that since its something I face myself too. Its okay for me to like others(they're obviously better than me) but if ppl like ME, I'd probably get all disgusted and think, why on earth would they? And then come up with one hundred and one reasons why its probably a faux, the person is not having a clear mind, its not possible etc... Negative thoughts in short. Which totally isnt good at all, but right now there's no way to change it. I guess acknowledging your own qualities would definitely help, like how ah hao finally decided to accept ah bin.

I need to stop being so pessimistic about myself all the time. But I just cannot bring myself to put me in a good light. I guess this is all part of a learning journey of life. Confidence, confidence, confidence!

******

Adaptability means getting used to something. I think I can get used to things pretty fast, but getting unused to them? Thats the really hard part. Some things are hard to phrase. I'd use an analogy here. Its like how if your mom forces you to eat apple everyday of the week for quite a period of time, you'd just get used to it. But then all of a sudden she just stops giving you apples, or maybe just once or twice a week. Wouldnt you feel empty if you dun get to eat these apples?

My imagination is really getting out of hand here. Gotta stop thinking so much and fabricating false and untrue stories, even if it's just for my own entertainment sake. I need to focus on more important stuffs, like the up and coming A levels just looming around the corner. Gotta stop dwelling on umimportant stuffs.

It may be unimportant, but yet its still important. I dunno, Im confused.

Our Promise (:

5:35 PM