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Monday, June 26

Its back to school time again. i find school totally sucky. not because of the people, nor the place itself but more because of the horrible results i've been receiving lately.


the worse today is physics. Someone asked what the lowest mark in class was. The teacher smiled at her and said, not you. the lowest mark is 20. i stared down at my paper blankly. an ugly "20" was scribbled over the top right corner of my creased test paper. creased because my trembling hands crushed it in fury when i first laid my eyes upon it. I can assure you-it was definitely not love at first sight. Will i ever develop true love for it?


physics i mean, and not being the lowest in class.


well, after sometime of gritting my teeth trying hard not to yell and roar at my stupid paper, i've come to a conclusion. Its not actually too bad a thing to be last in class. After all, there's no where to go except up, right? Unless i forever remain at the bottom- which i certainly don't intend to.


So many things happened since i really had a chance to blog much. Today im here not specially to blog but on an excuse that im doing my CME project, which of course is kind of delayed since no parent is appearing behind me yelling at me to off the computer. It's such a relief for me. But not for too long. As long as my dad returns home, i'm gonna get it from him.


i just realised that my english standard has taken a drastic dip down and below the earth's surface. i don't seem to have as much vocabulary at hand. Thanks, mom. That's wad you get when you don't allow your child to read books. you get a child who uses the same words over and over again with no creativity and no good english grades. Not that english grades matter much to you. I'm sure you'd rather see me score As for science.


I really don't know how i can pull up my socks when its dropping so fast. its going at a hundred miles an hour.


not to mention that my chinese standards are dropping after i painstakingly put in so much effort last year to make myself enjoy chinese a little more. All those building blocks which i tried to build up all started falling this yr when i struggled to build other subjects like maths and science. i guess it's not really possible to have your cake and eat it.


my blog is kind of depressing i just realised. but its my only way of complaining and letting it all out. I tried to confide in my sister before. All she did was roll her eyes and say, so? Tell me for what? What can i do? i don't want to hear your complaints. Don't you have anything better to do... see? even my own sister is getting tired of me. Why? i complain too much. maybe i should nickname myself as complain queen.


suddenly i wonder if im actually living my life to the fullest. if i were to die tomorrow and someone asks me, have you lived your life to the fullest? i would be stumped. and i would have to admit that its a big fat NO. to begin with, i haven't really accomplished what i really want in life. Which is having loads of true friends and going out to have fun with them without bothering about studies studies and studies. and to do my parents proud. I can see that whatever i've achieved so far seems rather worthless. getting into special stream for PSLE is a duh, by my parents. Triple science? hmmm, okay lor. no big deal. they show completely no emotions when i showed them the letter. what? Sec 2 top 30% not good? now its like the final showdown. the Os. whole day long, they supervise me with owl's eyes, swooping down at me whenever i failed to pick up a book to study. What sort of life is this? okay, maybe it isn't that that bad as i make it to be since i don't really study as much as i make myself appear to be.


oops dad's back.


signed off.

Our Promise (:
9:37 PM


Sunday, June 25

i haven blogged for ages.

now that i've come to blog i suddenly dunno wad to say.

feeling kinda down these few days. i think its because of the painful but true fact that there's school tmr.

the world cup has officially begun for quite some time. Its sad that i cant watch tonight's england match with my sister. But then again im not that much a supporter of England. If my sister had not been constantly breathing how great england was down my neck i would most probably feel neutral bout that country. im more supportive of spain now....because of fernando torres plus fabregas(if i spelt it correctly)

went to watch qihang on sunday. last sunday. i think the senior's show seems more interesting. haha.


i guess thats all i'll type for today...the next time im posting....shall be a long long time later... :(

Our Promise (:
7:08 PM