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Wednesday, January 9

Went back to HC yesterday after taking my GP diagnostic test. The structure of the paper was kind of weird and the passage given hardly held my attention for long. Ironically, the passage itself was focused on a scarce commodity of life--Attention. Something which everyone craves but may not necessarily receive. Turns out that Economic terms may end up to be quite useful after all. It helped me to shorten my summary by simply using the two words "opportunity cost". I was quite amused when I found that Mayqi wrote the same thing too! Must be the fact that great minds think alike.



I met Munyee at her class bench and we both sat down and stoned for a moment before we started to prepare the stuffs we wanted to study. In actual fact, neither of us felt like studying at all. As expected, we ended up chatting at the expense of doing some constructive work, all under the pretense of waiting for JieHui to arrive. The class photo which I brought to show Munyee ended up being circulated around by her classmates, who seemed to have some great interest in seeing how Zhili looks like. Apparently, he used to be classmates with Eunice and Eugenia.


I met quite a lot of familiar people who looked surprisingly glad to see me. It was a great feeling, knowing so many people. Its really a refreshing change from my own school, where I only know a miserable handful of people outside of my class. I was rather bemused when Munyee commented that everyone we both knew only said: Hi to me and ignored her. I suppose the reason is quite obvious. Put a spot of grey amidst a sea of brown. Obviously the grey stands out.



Sadly, this "standing out" factor is probably the cause of my sudden mood swing later in the afternoon. Because of my grey uniform, Cheryl and Siew Eng spotted me from afar and walked towards us. I waved and smiled. Cheryl waved back and so did Siew eng, i think. But as they got nearer, i noticed that Siew Eng seemed to be frowning in my direction. In fact, she even looked perplexed. As they approached, the first thing she did was to ask me in this unfriendly tone,"What are you doing here?"



Maybe I was over-reading or over reacting but I thought I could detect a hard edge to her voice. It made me feel like I was so unwelcome in her precious school! Not wanting to mis-interpret her intentions, I smiled and asked as innocently as I could manage, "Why cant I be here?" Now she looked clearly uncomfortable, "Because you're not from here what...Its not your school..."


And I got pissed. Thank goodness for my good anger management or I would have immediately retorted back with some mean remark. Its not the first time already. The first time was just slightly after I got posted to NJ. At that time I was already depressed and miserable enough and yet she had to rub salt onto my wound. She asked me, " What're you doing here? You're still in HC meh...come here so extra..."



Girl, any idea how I felt after that? If anything, your actions are equivalent to telling a suicidal man to just give up and go and die since you're so useless anyway. ... ....Maybe I am wrong about you. Maybe you had good intentions but I totally cant tell. You were smiling for the first time so I thought you didnt mean it. But now i know you probably meant every word you said. You looked so serious when you said it this time. I really don't understand why you had to say those hurting words to me!



Before that I had always thought you were such a sweet and friendly girl. You tarnished that impression. Im not a particularly strong person and harsh words do hurt me a lot. Especially during the first time when I was so down but yet feeling slightly cheered up by the HC people around me, giving me encouragement and support. Yet, you pulled the smile right off my face with just a few sentences. Maybe you're so smart you havent experienced any set backs, but in any case that you do, surely you wouldnt want anyone to say those hurtful words that demoralizes you?



Im sorry if you are actually joking even though you look dead serious, but in this case, don't you think you owe me an apology?It was really insensitive of you.



To look on the bright side of things, I've certainly learnt a valuable lesson from her: Think before you speak. Don't say things that can hurt others since what you say cannot be taken back again. More importantly, learn from your mistakes and don't repeat the same error again.



The above-mentioned incident aside, my overall mood was uplifted and I really enjoyed spending time with my ex-classmates.

Our Promise (:
9:10 PM