Wednesday, November 23
I don't understand why she's doing this...
No, actually i do understand. Every mother has high hopes for her children but does she think talking "sense" into me works?
I beg to differ.
yes, it burns and eats into my conscience when she scolds me for not studying for my nearing Os (one yr away) but it doesnt make me want to study. I'm not motivated to study by that! Instead, i get really irritated and i almost make up my mind to purposely not study.
That would be downright dumb of me, i know.
But at this rate life will only revolve about studying studying and only studying! What's the point if i spent all my time studying and suddenly i die before the examinations? That would be letting myself down miserably!
I can't request to take my paper as a ghost can i? I cant even say i enjoyed the last year of my life! i'd be full of regrets then.
Im not saying i'll die or anything, its just an example.
Of course, i know her words carries many good intentions, like the feather waiting to be given when the daughter finally understands its true worth and meaning. I don't think i'd be able to accept it anytime too soon anyway. Jing mei took 30 plus years to understand. you cant expect me to do so in 15 years!
But then again, her words are strikingly true and that fact i cannot deny.
perhaps that is why i find it so annoying. That everytime she scolds me, there is truth in her scoldings. I having nothing substantial to rebuke because i know she's right. I think im totally screwed up.
I haven done a single one of my homework other than maths which is also only half way done.If my mom finds out im in hot soup.
I dont think i can finish them in twenty days.
I don't know what i want to be next time.
maybe i should be a writer. after all, i have loads of paper to practise my writing skills with. haha.
I made my dad buy 6 sets of foolscape paper last saturday. The bookshop guy was so surprised that we're buying so many that he exclaimed, "six sets?" and i had to bite my tongue to refrain from bursting out with laughter. My dad himself got a shock too and he thought the bookshop guy made a mistake. i explained it to him as clamly and patiently as i could that i needed that many to last through the semester.
The bookshop guy looked like he was going to laugh any time. probably thinks it is ridiculous and KS to buy so many at one go.
This week is meaningless. The harry potter movie wasnt that nice to watch either. Cedric is kind of cute but the rest sucks. Harry, Ron and especially Krum didnt look anything near "good looking".
Maybe its just me. i set too high a standard. but really, krum looks like one who'd enter a boxing ring to fight.
I kinda miss being in Xi an. its so worryless there... you don't have to fret over things like homework and job shadowing and tuition. I wish the trip was 20 days. but if it was i'd have been skinless now. peeling too much, like a snake.
Sometimes, somethings make you think. I love to think. Its fun. Its a great feeling when u finally think of something. thats why i loved and enjoyed maths in pri sch. In primary sch the reason why you don get full marks for maths is not because you genuinely do not know how to do but because you're either careless or you got tricked by the question. Thats wad i think. im not sure if others agree.
next yr i'd have to really pay attention during maths lesson. I can't repeat this year's history or i would never get into a good jc, needless to say hcjc.
I used to think that getting a good psle result, getting into a good sec sch, getting into a good sec three triple sci class is the prestigious ticket to a good jc. Once you achieved it, just a little effort is enuf to breeze you through the gates of the top jcs in spore. Guess im wrong.
Would be going to china again in about ten day's time.
cant wait. but once we're there, time's gonna rocket by and in no time at all, we';d be back in spore, living normally with the additional topic of china to liven up our conversation. why is it so unfair?
When we're enjoying something, time simply flies but when we're doing something we dislike, it creeps past us as slowly as possible.
Life is just so unfair...
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