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Monday, August 8

I can't believe it. I actually spent away my whole week's allowances today! This is what i spent it on:
1) $2 on tutu(the peanut and flour thingy. But not say very nice. The person heat up for too short while. And when i picked it up, it crumbled into tiny little pieces. How disgusting!! I burnt my fingers badly trying to pick them up to eat. got fed up with it after a while. the stupid woman, cheat me of my money, give me lousy products. i was the one who earned her some customers ok?! when i stood there and waited, people must have thought that the food was nice, so they queued up to buy some too! but who would have known that the lady, seeing that there are more people, would take the tutu out before it is even completely cooked?! i dont care. i want refund! 2 bucks back please!!)

2) $2.50 on orange juice from Macdonalds (was so damn thirsty after eating the tutu. who knows? they may have added something in the tutu to make me thirsty so that i'll buy drinks from Macdonalds! what a ploy!! i dont care. i want refund! $2.50 back please!)

3) $1.95 on medium fries from Macdonalds. (i didnt mean to buy this at all. i was hypnotised by jeri and huifang and bought it under peer pressure. but i didnt even eat much of it! in fact, i ate less than half. just a few fries here and there. it is not my fault. i dont care. i want refund! $1.95 back please!!)

4) $1.50 on an orange pen from Four Seasons(this one is fine. i really needed it. so buying it is ok. there is no reason for me to feel guilty over this. and what's more, it is an investment on my studies. with this pen, i might be more attracted to my noites because of how colourful it looks. and then i read more and i rememeber more and i might just do well for my studies! so in short, it is worth every cent i paid. no need for refund! )

5) $6 on a bossini black t shirt with the world map imprinted on it. (i dunno why i bought it either. i just find it a thrill to be buying some clothes all by myself without parental guidance-they choose, u keep quiet, and without parental support, you take, you pay. i feel kind of bad about spending so much in just one day. and it is not even on movies! i hope i dont become like shopaholic, keep buying and buying non stop. but i neva spend money on clothes before! i dun care. i want refund!! 6 bucks back please!)

i got home fairly late. around 6 plus, close to seven. huifang walked with me all the way to the busstop before my house. you have no idea how grateful i was for that. i really dread walking alone. btw, jeridyn said i look like a butch. how is that possible, i ask u? so, whoever u are, if u see me, i'm not one for goodness's sake!! for your information, i;m straight, very straight. haha. when i got home, my dad's fren was there fixing the comp for him. i went into the room to have my dinner.

my sis left the room for a short while and returned with a sly smile on her face. "what?" i asked her. "go out and hear for yourself" she replied gleefully. i gave her a suspicious look and went out. to my utmost horror, i was greeted by my dad's monotonous reading of my blog entry when i stepped into the living room. i listened to my dad reading it aloud, fearing to show myself and make a fool of myself. at least, if i stay hidden, i wont be found. and my face would be saved. my dad gave up reading after a short while. "dunno what she is writing.... " he says. and his fren said" her english quite good..." i strained to hear the rest of the sentence but to no avail. what a disappointment. but neva mind! it's not like its the first time i'm being praised rite?? but seriously, i cant remember any other time i was praised.

at kidsread today, i was met with different responses regarding my hairstyle.

1) Aunt sharon- appears nonchalant and bochap. a smile was plastered on her face when i came in but otherwise she showed completely no sign that she noticed my new haircut. the kids, ironically, reacted the most enthusiatically when they saw my hair.

2) huang sui- points to my hair and seems sad at this new look. "why u cut ur hair? now not nice already...... " she tells me shyly. how i admire the straightforward nature of little kids. they tell us words that come directly from their hearts. what they think, they say. this is unlike scheming teenagers who pretentiously comment on how nice the hair is and stuffs. not all are like that though. sam, for one, tells me straight in the face that this hairstyle doesnt suit me. i thank sam for the frankness given to me. it is very valuable and heartfelt words. but i'm sure not all teens are pretentious. at least, those i know arent.

3)huang see- this one is the funniest comment or reaction of all the others. when he saw me, he told me somewhat proudly that he would be able to recognise me even if i shaved off all my hair. "dont think u cut ur hair, then i cannot recognise u ah. u shave botak i also can remember your face one ok?" he says. i felt kind of touched by this actually. it pleases me to know that they remember me regardless of my hairstyle and hopefully, the bond between us is more of a friendship than teacher student relationship. i wonder if he'll still remember me ten years later when he is a teenager. But i doubt so. My kindergarten friend can't even be bothered to reply to me, much less a student rmb a teacher who is not even ten years older than him.

4) Two girls from the second batch of kidsread-I can't really know what they are saying about me. the two of them kept glancing at me and whispering away. it made me rather self conscious and i was determined to find out what was going on in their little minds. I approached them to ask them but they refused to tell me anything. i wonder y. am i becoming too intimidating?

5) yingjie- this one is a little weird. he just kept gesturing away. i couldnt figure out what his sign language meant. at first, i interpreted it as him saying "i'm going out". that got me puzzled. why is he telling me that? i shrugged, trying to show him that i couldnt understand. he gestured again. probably mistaking that i didnt see gesture. this time i thought "he is asking all of us to go out because the air con is fixed in the other room?" i cocked my head to one side and frowned. then he gave a tiny sigh (showing that he is frustrated at my stupidity) and made that gesture again and this time saying "you cut your hair?" oh. that. so i "yeah" ed. and he left. oh, i showed my sister the gesture and she interpreted it as "chopping off someone's head". but actually i cant really remember so i might have shown her the wrong thing. haah! anw, this shows the theme of miscommunication which not only happens between mother abd daughter relationships(JLC) , it also happens anywhere, anytime, and with anyone.

i kept staring at my wallet. feeling sad. and broke. and then i remembered that kidsread is ending in 2 weeks time. i shant be seeing those kids anymore. i guess i'll miss them actually. and i'll also miss those mini outings with jeridyn, huifang and sometimes samantha after kidsread is over at 4.30. with kidsread gone, part of my social life and social circle is also washed away with it. i neva thought kidsread was important but i realised it now.

it is only when u r losing sth soon that makes u value the importance of it and u wish to have it back.

Our Promise (:

9:36 PM