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Saturday, July 2

I finally did my maths! I guess it's gonna be the first time in the past two terms that i actually passed up my maths homework on time...I'm really trying hard to improve on my maths. hope i can catch up after lacking behind for so long. It seems almost like Mission Impossible. But nothing is impossible, they say. I'll believe them just this once. I read my sister's written diary today. It's much more personal and funny and interesting...lots of things she doesnt want some people to read and enjoy-or she'll lose face.

"An online diary is for everyone to see and read, a written diary is much more personal and you can write down your inner most thoughts without offending anyone. You're free to write anything you want. online, you must sensor your thoughts." These were my sister's words. how indept she is at analysing things! there is already no doubt that she will do well in literature in future. I quite agree with those words actually. Just yesterday or the day before(i cant remember which),i just vomitted out a whole chunk of thoughts about falling down and stuffs and i get asked if i was feeling depressed or sad or sth(no offence, i know u're great and concerned frens). Not to worry though, i will never do anything as foolish as killing myself. No, i value my life too much. Anyway, even if i dun value it, i still wont commit suicide. there is the pain i fear. unless u can think of a painless death. so u wont be seeing my picture in the front page of Straits Time anytime too soon. Maybe about 50 to 60 years later u might get a "70yr old lady dies peacefully in her sleep." thats the most exciting it can ever get i assure you. but seriously, i do wonder a lot of times, what will happen after you die? Do you enter a whole new universe or just float in endless space? its just so intriguing to know the truth. but sometimes, the truth could be something very terrifying, something you'll regret knowing. So sometimes, its better not to know the truth.(but is the truth terrifying enough to ward off curiousity?says my sis)


I didnt go for kidsread today.

Didnt feel like going. After all, its not my week to begin with. So there's no need for me to be there. my sis told me that huang sui was very lost without me there, she kept looking around the room for me with this really sad look on her face. I feel guilty for not going, especially after hearing that. Poor girl! I promise you i'll go next week and you'll find me there, waiting for you...My sister said she cut her hair too. I'm sure she'll look very cute and adorable...she'll have to miss me on alternate weeks though, because i really do not intend to go on a weekly basis anymore. the Os are arriving pretty soon and i still have this huge mountain of homework to complete. plus this fact that i somehow lost confidence in reading stories to them. oh well. some aeroplanes just flew over my house with this huge droning sound. i dunno why, but i always feel frightened when i hear that. everytime it happens, i'll squeeze my eyes shut tightly and get prepared to be blasted into a million pieces. even though nothing of that sort happened(duh, or else i wouldnt be writing this), i'll always have this vivid scene in my mind, seeing myself blown up into pieces. since young, i've always been frightened of war. to me, nothing is scarier than war. its a terrible thing. the most terrible thing of all. to think that people in the past actually sees war as sth which brings glory to their country makes me sick. the gory of war. the deaths brought about by war. the after effects of war. the pain of losing loved ones thru war. the madness of war. all for the sake for gaining new territories. What the hell for?! Its so dumb. i cant understand it. maybe i will in a few years time...maybe....


maybe?

Our Promise (:
10:34 PM