;x OURPROMISE// Holdmyhand :DD x;

Thursday, July 14

today is thursday. we had this rehearsal for the poetry in harmony thing and i (and some others) had to pretend to be dead. i wonder if this signifies anything. is this supposed to be an omen of sth bad befalling on me? but it cant be i suppose. does it mean sth bad too will happen on my friends? Wad nonsense. I must be reading too much of JLC. Cant believe it. i keep thinking and writing all these weird stuffs. cant stop it no matter wad.

i surprised myself even more when i found that i can actually understand miss quek's teachings and is able to do the maths questions at an almost as fast rate as munyee. i say "almost" because i know i can hardly do anything as fast as her. maybe i sleep faster than her, but thats really about all.

During english lesson, just as i was furiously scribbling out the last portion of my discursive essay and wondering if it was too short, Mrs Tian gave a huge sigh and pointed out, "Girls, we want quality, not quantity." it almost seemed as if she could read my mind and is reminding me. i felt pleased for a moment. No need for quantity, quality is enough.I smiled for a moment, then looked down at my paper. something was not right. I suddenly realised i had neither quality or quantity! wad a failure i felt i was! but im used to it. one must learn to accept failures and not let it deter you from succeeding. i strongly believed in that and i've accepted failures after failures. I'm still waiting for a time where i'll succeed but i hope its soon enough. My patience is running out.

Patience. I think that one must also be patient in handling a scrabble game. Take your time to think but don't take too long. I played with Rina today. I won and i got happy. I thought i was back on form. But Austin had to come and burst and bubble. He presented the disappointing fact that i was not playing as well as before after a thorough evaluation of the game. I made several mistakes here and there. I opened up the board too much. All these mistakes which he pointed out i knew, just before placing the tiles down. I knew I was giving Rina plenty of space when i placed "rainy" down. True enough, she made use of triple word. When Rina told me she had a "Q", i knew that she would place "Q" at triple letter when it was her turn. Yet, i made no attempt to stop it. I was unwilling to sacrifice putting down something worth so little. I guess this bit of me is like Rose Hsu Jordon, who makes no attempt to save her marriage even though she knew it was falling apart and just let it happen. If i were playing against jeridyn, i would most definitely not put "rainy" down. Knowing jeridyn, doing that would produce devastating destruction for me. But i was already leading Rina by 80 over points. 30 points didnt really mean much to me. I felt that she could not catch up with me(ps: they say pride comes before fall...maybe im gonna fall soon). True enough she didnt, but it gave Austin some mistakes to write down. i think i shall be more careful next time, regardless of who my opponent is.

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I envy ppl with brothers. it seems and sounds so nice to complain, my brother did this, my brother did that. I had a brother too, but bot a real one. He's just my godbrother, someone who used to live next door.I rmb when i was young, i used to stay at my neighbour's house from morning(when my parents went to work) to night (when my parents came back from work) daily. I loved staying there a lot and i rmb disturbing my godbrother a lot. I still miss that house a lot....last time i was very hardworking. every afternoon when i return from PAP, i would crouch on the floor near the door to do my homework. i would not have lunch until i finished my homework. What a stark contrast between the past and the present! I hoped to have more of these days but unfortunatly, my neighbours moved away. i was really sad and i rmb sobbing bitterly. A new family moved in. I never really noticed them until i was in upper primary. I can only recall the youngest daughter standing at the door and i would wave to her at times. there are occasional meetings with the rest of the family but no, we hardly communicated with each other.Its sad really, since most neighbours are very good friends. all my connections with downstairs neighbours stopped when they moved out. Ah wells... but anyway, i'm gonna be neighbours with Sam next time when i grow older. not so lonely mah....

Note to myself: To become better at Scrabble, I've got to play more, think more and remember more. Everything the more the merrier. Anyway, i've got a spilting headache right now... gotta go sleep (but not before completing my tuition homework! See...i so hardworking...)

yeah right.

Our Promise (:

9:09 PM