Me in A Jacob Biscuit's Tin!

2008-08-02T21:17:00.000+08:00

Shifted to http://star-nighter.livejournal.com/

But I wont completely close down this blog though!

2008-07-21T21:14:00.000+08:00

I went to watch The Dark Knight last friday at AMK hub. It was a great movie indeed! No wonder Sherf reminded me over and over again that she wanted to go watch it. It was really worth my 6 bucks. The whole movie just got me sitting at the edge of my seat, excited and eager to find out what was going to happen next.

The joker was incredibly intelligent and an excellent manipulator of the mind. The way he planned out his whole escape route was so ingenius that I couldnt help but look on in awe. Then after the 2 hr plus movie we went to develop photos.

Sunday: Went out to study with Munyee! She filled me in with her interesting life story. I studied a bit of econs and did a teeny weeny bit of maths.

Today: Got teased relentlessly by a bunch of wu liao people in my class! Gah...Im too civilised to reveal the content of what they said so I'll just leave it as it is. But one thing I must say, although I was too nice to say it out then. For all those who were present then, its regarding n. Just one nicely aimed kick, and n, whereby n is a real number, will almost immediately become zero. Hah!

Okay Im off!

2008-07-17T20:42:00.000+08:00

刚刚听了 “小人物的心声”。。。

也许我一个人
不能成就一番大事业
但我尽力贡献一份微薄的力量

也许我自己
不能发出万丈光和亮
但我能为斗室带来足够的光芒

我从来都不在乎
自己不是一个大人物
因为平凡也是一种幸福

看到名人总是忙忙碌碌
我的时间由我控制
平凡日子一样会充实

也许我一个人
不能成就一番大事业
但我尽力贡献一份微薄的力量

也许我自己
不能发出万丈光和亮
但我能为斗室带来足够的光芒

我从来都不在乎
自己不是一个大人物
因为平凡也是一种幸福

看到名人总是忙忙碌碌
我的时间由我控制
平凡日子一样会充实

我从来都不在乎
自己不是一个大人物
因为平凡也是一种幸福

看到名人总是忙忙碌碌
我的时间由我控制
平凡日子一样会充实

我从来都不在乎
自己不是一个大人物
因为平凡也是一种幸福

看到名人总是忙忙碌碌
我的时间由我控制
平凡日子一样会充实

我从来都不在乎
自己不是一个大人物
因为平凡也是一种幸福

看到名人总是忙忙碌碌
我的时间由我控制
平凡日子一样会充实

我从来都不在乎
自己不是一个大人物
因为平凡也是一种幸福

歌词还蛮有意义的。说真的，就算一个人有多么有成就，如果过得不开心，那又有何用？虽然我现在算是个小人物，但日子也过得还蛮不错。。。

每天搭巴士回家时我都会经过这个游乐园，今天也不列外。奇怪的是，好像有人在荡秋千，可是周围一个人影也没有。。。难道这是灵异事件吗？

最近，不知不觉地，我发现自己越来越喜欢用华语来写出我的感想。或许是因为我已经太久没有使用华文了，所以很起劲的再用电脑打出华文字！

Alright. Enough of my crappy chinese. Im off!

2008-07-15T20:27:00.000+08:00

Had a really funny day today. I haven had such a good laugh for ages already! And its all thanks to jessica! She's so humourous in her unique way and somehow today everything she says just triggers my "laugh" button.

Stayed up til 1.30 am on sunday night to have a heart to heart talk with my sis. We're so bloody similar in our character and thinking! We'd never want people to see the weak side of us so no matter what happens, we'll put up a false front. Sometimes it might seem that I don't care, but the more I care, the less I'll want to show it. I really don't know why, but all these thoughts are really pouring out now. I guess I just want a place to vent out my pent up feelings. I don't like to appear to be needy and so I'll never ever put my pride aside to make the first move to others etc, unless I know they wouldnt mind me coming to them all the time. You could say that Im insecure but even in my insecurity, I don't want any one to know. Often, I'll fear that all of a sudden, my friends will see the flawed side of myself and distance themselves. So sometimes, I'll be the one doing the "distancing" for a while, so that I wouldnt be hurt so much. Well, that was in the past, right now Im doing my best to prevent these old habits from arising again.

I feels so childish writing all these...sounds whiny oh dear. Im too people conscious. I might not really care what others think, but what my friends think are VERY important. Alright I'll just stop here.

Well, at least there are things worth smiling for! 加油加油！才四个月。。。我可以的！路虽然遥远，但应为有你们在，我一定可以渡过这个考验。。。

OFF

2008-07-13T21:07:00.000+08:00

Tonight

I remember the times we spent together
On those drives
We had a million questions
All about our lives
And when we got to New York
Everything felt right
I wish you were here with me
Tonight

I remember the days we spent together
Were not enough
And I used to feel like dreamin'
Except we always woke up
Never thought not having you here now
Would hurt so much

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you, I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight

I remember the time you told me
About when you were eight
And all those things you said that night
That just couldn't wait

I remember the car you were last seen in
And the games we would play
All the times we spilled our coffees
And stayed out way too late

I remember the time you sat and told me
About your Jesus
And how not to look back
Even if no one believes us
When it hurts so bad
Sometimes not having you here
I sing

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you, I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight

I sing
Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight

My sister got me quite hooked onto this song. Catchy yet sad tune as well as very meaningful lyrics about friendship mainly. I read her blog recently about friendship and I must say Im quite surprised to see that she felt that way too. This bond with others may seem so very strong at points of time, yet in actual fact they are really fragile.

I didnt realise until just now how similar my views are with my sister's. I suppose we are both people who appear nonchalance on the outside for fear of being hurt. Caring too much would just mean being hurt more if things don't turn out the right way. Oh wells.

算了，有些事情还是不要想太多。。。就像陈奕迅的歌词：
That’s just life
寻找梦里的未来
That’s just life
少点现实的无奈
不论风吹的时候
不再傍徨的时候
永远向前　路一直都在

No matter what happens, there will always be a way out. No matter what happens, life will still go on...

OFF.

2008-07-12T21:10:00.001+08:00

My dad is a thoroughly amusing person. In the car today, while going for lunch at some buangkok food court, for some weird reason, he suddenly proclaimed my sister to be the Minister of Defence, me to be the Minister of Finance and himself to be the Prime Minister. Wanting to poke fun at his stinginess, I jested, "Eh, since Im Minister for finance, why you never give me the money?? No money finance what?"

And then my sister spoilt my ploy.

"Cos Im minister of defence! Im supposed to defend the money!"

*Cold wind blows and the whole car suddenly felt like its freezing...*

My mom is one funny woman too. For some reason or another, I was questioning my sister's sanity, or rather lack of it. "I think your screw is so loose...mahmee you need to tighten up her screw!" I kind of whined.

My mom nodded her head seriously, "Yes, ask papa to tighten it. Papa got strength!"

.....

Oh wells. Im gonna blog in chinese for a while! Been a long time since I used it.

WARNING: Horrible chinese lang ahead. Dont read if you don't want your chinese language to deteriorate.

好久好久没用华语来表达自己的想法与其感触。。。最近不知道为什么总是时不时觉得自己很没用。每当我想起自己无论如何都无法了解Chemistry，我就感到很烦躁。会有那一天我终于对那个科目产生兴趣吗？

昨天，我，依雯和小宝宝一起去Westmall吃午餐。可爱的主人真的是太好笑了！真没想到我主人果然是那么馋嘴！：）

回到家一看见有那么多东西要完成我就头痛死了。。。天啊！！

有时候我觉得我一点也不了解自己。　“为什么”这三个字总会浮现在我脑海里。为什么我会那样做，为什么我会那样想，为什么会为小事而感到烦恼。。。真希望有一天我能够解剖自己的脑袋，看看里面的内容。。。

不知道为什么我就是很喜欢研究身边的人的每一个举动。从他们的眼神与话中猜测他们的想法。对我而言，眼神应该是人与人之间最能够表达自己的方法了。从单单一个眼神就可以感觉得到对方对你的映像-是否觉得你无聊，可笑，还是无趣。

Forget it. My chinese sucks to the core. 真的是孙先生坐在船上。。。逊！

Im gg off now!

I cant stand it when I get affected by reasons I don't even know. I hate it when I cant understand why Im so confused about everything that is not worth thinking about...

2008-07-07T21:30:00.001+08:00

I was listening to Aurora by Angela and there was this very line that caught my attention: "chuan shuo de yu yan, yuan lai jiu shi lian ren de yan guang" and that got me wondering. Lian ren de yan guang..how does it look like? So on my hc class outing today, I was trying to keep a look out for that "yan guang". Trying discreetly to observe the couple of my class, it was quite disappointing that I didnt manage to catch any "yan guang" between them. Hmmm, maybe thats the secret. This "yan guang" is only shared between them and no one else is able to observe it but them. Maybe thats what makes it so special.

Surprisingly, the class outing today was attended by quite a large percentage of the class. About 2/3 or slightly more turned up. After everyone's initial surprise of seeing me there, the rest of the day went quite normally. I didnt feel like anyone was making any special, particular effort to try and be nice to me so it felt really quite natural.

We lunched at pizza hut and then pooled a bit before wasting a whole lot of time trying to decide what to do. That must be the greatest disadvantage of having so many turn up for an outing. Some wanted to k-box, others wanted to go arcade and a handful were thinking along the lines of ice skating or watching movies. In the end, I went to the arcade and for the first time of my life, played the Tou Lan Ji. Didnt know it was so fun! I shall go try it again some day.

After everyone decided to go home, Mel and I both decided that we havent had enough of pool yet, so we went to pool for an additional hour. And then it was dinner at Kobayashi. I think that we actually did the most things when there were only the 2 of us! Mel proved herself to be the better pool player, beating me 3-1!

And now...its back to reality-SCHOOL and HOMEWORK!!

*Faints*

Just read my sister's blog and to clarify things- I did NOT attempt to poison her using sodium cyanide or barium hydroxide because I have absolutely no idea where to find them! But before you think I love you too much to bear to poison you, my dear sister, do let me know the whereabouts of these chemicals so that I can carry out my plans to perfection. I know it'll work since you're such a glutton. The moment you set your eyes on those eggs, you wont even think about my intentions until you've goofed it all down. And then- Hurrah! I've rid the world of an evil!

And right now, my insane sister just shook her hands in front of me in a trembly manner and stared at me with the siao-ding-dong look. Then she declared, "Parkinson's!" And proceeded to shake both her hands in front of my face, as if to prove her point. Well, she has certainly proven my hypothesis of her right! She clearly and truly is the maddest and craziest girl I've ever encountered(She gives me a glare and attempts to press the "backspace" button...But I wont let her have her way! I must reveal these crazy acts to the rest of the world who don't know!) .......

Alright- Im off to bed! Damn tired.

2008-07-04T20:20:00.000+08:00

I must say that this week has been a rather fruitful week in terms of enlightenment. I finally came to terms with my atrocious grades and have set up my mind to think only of how to improve from now onwards. Its too much to ask me to start studying very hard immediately, but I'll take my very first step-Finish all my homework in the shortest possible time. Because, as yiwen said, if you don't finish your homework, you'll never find the time to start studying. How true that is!

Went to gracie's house today! Its really huge and glassy and classy! Her pool looked so inviting! Except for the fact that there are insects in the pool. Having "tea" in her home made me feel a little like a royalty. We all felt a wee bit uneasy, which probably accounted for the silence while eating. After a while it got so weird, I just opened my mouth and said whatever came to my mind, in hope of easing the weird mood. And what I said turned out to be embarrassing events that happened to me and my sister in China about 2 years or 3 ago...

We had 4 quick games of contract bridge and it was so addictive! All I can think of after that was-I want more! Duo yi ge Duo yi ge zhai duo yi ge!! We nearly missed the shuttle bus back! But somehow the kind bus driver saw us running and waited for us.

Hmmm. I just realised how the more you think about certain things, the more troubled you become. The more you try to weigh pros and cons, the more confused you get. And after some time, even the most trivial matter can be magnified into this really huge problem, which is really silly since if you think about it with a clear mind, no matter how grave your problem is, its still never the end of the world even if you cant solve it.

Okay, im keeping this post short and sweet. Shall blog again another day! When I have more inspiration.

OFF.

2008-06-29T20:02:00.000+08:00

Thank goodness for Econs, which lifted my spirits momentarily after all those horrendous results. Surprisingly, Econs turned out to be my most consistent subject. Sure, I practically failed every single one of the class tests given,but when mattered the most, I will somehow manage to pull through. 3 times lucky already-Im not so sure if I'll be lucky too for prelims.

On a happier note, Spain beat Russia 3-0 on thursday morning! And they're due to play Germany this coming morning. Hope Spain wins mann!

Haven been doing much but stoning and pondering about useless stuffs. I feel like Im a hypocrite. This morning a bee was spotted in my toilet. The bee flew in through the ventilation window and hovered about the mouth of the tap. Then it left by the same way it entered. This cycle repeated about 3 to 4 times. Just when I began to feel an attachment to the tiny bee, my dad came stomping in with two slippers in hand to smash the bee flat. Having developed sentimental feelings towards the insect, I shrieked, "No no!! Don't kill it!. Just leave it, let it fly out and then seal the entrance.." But my advice fell flat with my dad, who insisted that the bee has to be killed.

Just a few minutes of "interaction" with the bee and I already felt so sad at its demise. The hypocrisy is that I so very often call for beetles and other insects to be killed without considering the fact that it, too, has a life and probably its own family too. Oh wells.

My sister's time now. Im off.

2008-06-24T20:34:00.000+08:00

Just two days.

Two days is already enough to rip me apart emotionally, with the return of all the CT papers. It is really unsettling how great an impact they have on me this time, when I've always been cool about getting not-so-great results. Perhaps its the sense of self inferiority when I see myself placed among the bottom of my class each time, and my class is well placed at the bottom of the cohort as well, making me the bottom of the cohort.

It scaring me when I see how everyone is trying to buck up and putting in efforts in their studies while I could still heck-care my way through. Its time to change. Seriously. I need to start studying. I need to have more motivation and determination. I need to perserve because its do or die for me now. I need to stop thinking Im so great that I can score even with last minute studying because I sure cant. I need to instill will power.

I always say, its okay, its okay...this is just CTs,if you get 4 As for A levels, who the hell will care if you fail your CTs? But the truth is, its not okay. Not at all. By saying that, im assuming that I will, eventually, get those 4As. Judging by my grades, and attitude right now, its nearly impossible. An uphill task indeed.

I recalled telling Sherf that "Old habits die hard"

To which she replied, "If there's a will, there's a way."

And I had nothing to counter, until Yihui said, "The mind may be willing but the flesh is weak"

How true indeed.

But then, cheryl's msn nick served as an inspiration once more: Nothing is impossible, even the word "IMPOSSIBLE" says "I M POSSIBLE".

So no matter how demoralised I am, no matter how dumb and inferior I feel compared to others, and no matter how terrible my grades are, I will not let them affect me too much. Instead, this setback shall only serve to be my strength to work towards my goal of As.

Anyway, just a mini overview of how terrible my grades were:

Maths: S (on the dot)

Its my best subject so you can imagine how I felt after seeing those grades in red. Drastic fall from an A in promos to a U now. Talk about complacency. I feel so guilty about it. Well, at least its a lesson learn to never take things for granted. If you don't work for it, why should they come to you easily? Pride comes before fall is so apt to describe me.

Bio: Straight U

Disappointed of course. But what can I expect if I practically didnt study due to that major fever of mine? Still, it was no excuse. If I had studied earlier, I probably wouldnt have it that bad. All boils down to my laziness. Maybe Im dumb. Who knows?

Chem: Straight U

Immediate U in fact. I entered the examination hall knowing thats the grade I would get. Actually getting a U isnt a problem with me. Its the extent of my failure. Being a kaypoh girl I scanned the chem list to see the lowest grades in class. No surprise that it appears that I am ranked second in class for chem, from the back. Chem really feels so hopeless for me. I feel like im in this tunnel where I'll never get to see light. I feel so helpless and lost whenever Im faced with it, and I'll always try to avoid anything CHEM. Now Im going to face chem bravely. No more escaping anymore. There is no point.

GP: D

The first subject I passed. Surprisingly, it was my essay which pulled me up.I've never ever gotten anything more than a 25 from Ducro before so this 30 comes as a great encouragement for me. I'll try and try to improve. No more excuses. This CT is a Wake Up Call.

To sum things up, I WILL be undaunted though shakened by this failure. I SHALL strive to overcome the strong forces of attraction to the computer. I MUST start producing and investing in consumer goods rather than thinking about producing capital goods for long run benefits all the time. If everyone in my country produces capital goods, granted there will be more consumer goods in the future, but will enough of the population survive to reach the future? Im talking rubbish here so don't read this if you don't want me to corrupt your econs.

I thought I couldnt care less. But somehow I am wrong. Oh heck, now's not the time to care.

2008-06-22T20:12:00.000+08:00

The Oranje got squashed into pulp by the Russians late in the night, or early this morning. I had no intention of watching the match, which I thought was obviously in the favour of Holland, initially, until I woke up to use the toilet and just stoped by to watch the match for a while. A while turned into slightly more than 10 minutes and just when I was about to make my way back to bed, Russia scored.

My jaw just dropped there and then. But it was no surprise, considering how they were attacking non stop, without giving holland much of a chance to counter attack. Then I decided to stay and watch until Holland recovered. And that only happened at 80 plus minutes! So eventually I stayed and watched the entire match, including extra time but excluding the first half and saw how Russia overcame the odds to win.

Although I sacrificed quite a bit of my precious sleep, I must say that the Russian players are actually quite a bit of an eye candy. Russian playmaker Andrei Arshavin with his rosy cheeks got me swooning over him. And his goal against Holland was one of the most amusing ones I've ever seen in Euro! He just coolly slotted the ball in between the gap of Van Der Sar's legs. The way Van der sar tried to snap his legs shut after the ball got through was so funny I just burst out laughing at the sight of it!

Hmmm...Im wondering if this year's Euro would be the year of an underdog again. Anyway hope that Spain can win Italy in tonight's match! But no way am I waking up to watch again. There is SCHOOL tomorrow :(

Today is pretty much a day of irony, eventful in terms of humour too!

My dad enters a windy room and turns on the fan. Then he looks at me and gave me a long lecture about how we should learn to save electricity and switch off the fan when it's windy. I stared pointedly at the fan which he had just turned on, trying to make a point. My dad either didnt get my hint, or he was just pretending not to get it. Then he gets up, offs the fan and leaves the room. That was yesterday.

Today he enters my room again. The room is relatively windy, with intermittent bouts of wind. Dad looks at the "hard at work" fan and shakes his head at me. He proceeds to sit down, and turns up the speed to number 2. And once more he gives a lecture on how we should save electricity now there is inflation and all. I opened my mouth to argue that it was unfair how he could turn on the fan while I cant. But my stubborn dad just refused to let me talk and went on making his own point. After he decided that he has said enough, he stood up, turns off the fan, walks out of the room, and leaves me in a fanless situation.

Speak of irony mann.

Later in the afternoon my sister picks up my pooh bolster and starts slamming my dad's poor head with it. I shrieked at her to stop that immediately and stop torturing my poor bear. Looking at it, my dad commented:" Thats a bear? It looks like a pig! A square pig! Let me see!"

And so, obediently, my sis tossed the pooh to him. My dad nodded his head solemnly. "Ohh, so its winnie the pooh! I thought what is it..." And he proceeds to give it left chops, right chops, middle chops and side chops before sending it flying back to my sister, who continues her torture of squeezing it all over.

"Mammm!!!" I wailed, "Tell Seline to stop bullying my pooh bear leh!!"

"Orh.." Said my mom who then glares at my sister. "Pass me the bear!"

And my sister obediently tossed the bear to her.

My mom gave a sweet smile and said, "aiyo, the bear out of shape liao la. Lai, Wo bang ni nong hui qu..." She thus went on to squeeze the bear left right up bottom and even slams her hand onto its face in the process of "making pooh bear into its original rectangular shape"!!

Sighs. And I thought mama was nice enough to not torture it.

My sister is getting weirder and weirder though. She trusted her phone in front of me all of a sudden and asked me, "Does it look familiar?"

I squinted at her phone. It was a picture of her and a winnie the pooh. I was thinking, duh...its you wad...of cos it looks familiar. Then as if she was reading my thoughts, she hinted, "Look at the pooh!" I made no reply.

My sis gave a huge sigh, as though talking to a retard. Then she picks up my pooh and chirped:" They're siblings!!", before falling into fits of laughter. Oh GOSH.

I had plenty of time to extract my revenge from her though. While her back was turned away from me, I snuck into her room as silently as I could and sat down on the mat behind her chair, waiting for her to realise my presence. Seconds went by and she still had not bothered to turn around. I was starting to get really bored. A while later, I intentionally made some noises to alert my sis of my presence. And as expected, she began looking around the room to see where the sound came from.

Then she saw me and gave out this huge yell that had me giggling in delight. I must admit that I have this fetish in scaring my sister and Im always getting the kick in doing it, both literally AND figuratively. As you might as guessed, my sister obviously wouldnt let me off so easily for scaring her and so her immediate reaction was a aim a few hard kicks at my shin. Oh wells.. but that doesnt mean that I've learnt my lesson. I will still continue to indulge in this funny pleasure of mine.

Okay a few more sayings before I go off.

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.

I like this one!! Haha, next time if you ever see anyone you like, just smile. You never know how far a smile can bring you without trying. And of course it would end with a tear, because if it doesnt, then you probably don't love the person....Right? Unless you're the kind who is so act cool that you prevent yourself from crying at all costs...

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Yeah, I wonder who will cry when I die...hmmm

Never tell your problems to anyone…20% don’t care and the other 80% are glad you have them.

Haha! I laughed when I saw this. Laughed at the truth in it and also the untruth of this statement. Okay, its a paradox. But there are both truths and untruths. The truth is if you tell your true friends your problems, then the statement clearly does not stand. But if people whom you tell them to are mere acquaintance, then there is much truth in it.

Alrights. Its my sister's time now!

OFF.

2008-06-21T20:55:00.000+08:00

Today was more or less one of those mundane days which I cant seem to recall much of. My family provided me with a little of the much needed entertainment though.

Just before we went out for dinner, somehow I began to comment on how my sister is a weirdo.

"Weirdo!" I called her.

My sis swung around and glared at me, widening her eyes into huge circles looking ready to eat me up.

"Weirdo!!" I called again. This time my dad heard and he gave this huge smile and added "Weirdooo" to the list.

I smugly called out, "See, dad says you're a weirdooooo!" (Okay thats' really childish of me but whatever,....if I dun show my childish side to my family, who else can I show it to? I need to preserve my sane image at school! )

To which my sister promptly shot back:"And you're a weirdAAA!!"

So, in a matter of seconds, my family has been divided into two groups of the "Weirdoo" and the "Weirdaa"s...

My sis has just taken a liking to repeating these words "Mao mao!" to me. I have no idea why. Perhaps its because she enjoys seeing me give that annoyed look? Hmmm...from now on I shall "GET SMART" and fake ignorance whenever she says that.

Talking about get smart, I wanna watch that show!! Never mind, shall see if I have time to steal a date with my sis and make her pay for the tickets!

Alright Im back to trying to analyse sayings. Wheee its fun! Read my analysis with a pinch of salt though. I believe in "To each his own" so you might not necessarily agree with what I have to say.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.

The obvious. But in reality, majority do go for looks AND wealth. The problem is, if I want to go for someone who makes me smile, its practically EVERYONE!! Everyone makes me smile in one way or another...hmmmm

Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.

Definitely. But sometimes, even when you know your actions would hurt someone, you'd do it anyway. Somethings are inevitable. Oh wells.

A careless word may kindle strife; a cruel word may wreck a life; a timely word may level stress; a loving word may heal and bless.

Indeed.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Yes! I want to be like this. To make the most out of everything. Even failures happen for a reason. They only serve to make you stronger.

Alright. Its my sister's time to use the comp soon. So thats all for now.

OFF.

2008-06-20T22:17:00.000+08:00

I was just looking through my Word documents and saw this folder entitled "dvc stuffs". And obviously, I was curious about it and opened it. My STM(short term memory) made me unable to recall when and why I ever saved such a file with that name.

Just a little interuption before I make my point: I dreamt about dvc AGAIN. Would have thought that after so long...my brain will stop dvc stuffs from cropping up. But no...after a few days of dvc-less nights, it has to return once more. And each time its longer than the previous. Gah!

Back to the dvc file. And so, curious me opened it and voila! out came a whole list of sayings. I must say most of them are really rather meaningful! So I shall post them on my blog for future reference. In case I want to repeat doing it for my next batch of kids. (By the way, what I did was to write little sayings on a card for every kid as a way of teaching them principles of life etc...)

Oh, and I realised that I never got to use more than half of them anyway, since most are about LOVE and obviously, you dont want their parents reading it to see me teaching them those at such a young age!

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

Okay this one doesnt seem to be much of a saying but its still very true and logical so I just put it up. And kudos to my friend who has recently plucked up her courage to just admit to this guy that she likes him! Way to go mann! Haha, but that's really something that no one should expect from me since it would be uncharacteristic of a "prideful" person like me.

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

Again, it has to do with bgr...

Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, and the romance in a relationship and find out you still care for that person

Don't really know how true this is but it sounds pretty logical. Except that when you take away all those as per mentioned, is it really possible? hmmm *ponders*

A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go.

Yeah!! This one really sounds like something you'd see in tv dramas where its so heart wrenching. One example that immediately came into mind was Lu from Goong. My heart still goes out to him when caijing preferred that yucky xin jun...Gah!

The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had

Agreed totally. Just that I've never tried sitting on a porch and swinging and ALSO keeping silent with any friend before. So all my friends out there, care to try that with me and see if you feel like its the best convo you've ever had? :)

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Heh, my dear friends...its a pity you don't know what a "little treasure" you've got here and you prob wont know until its too late-you've lost me! So better treasure me and all those moments we share! (See? This does not only educate kids, they educate YOU too plus helps me bring across whatever little hints I want to make..)

Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.

Cliche. But that doesnt mean its not true. Unfortunately, no matter how true that it, its still better to be loved than to love la. Best is to love and BE loved! Best of both worlds!

There are things you'd love to hear that you would never hear from the person whom you would like to hear them from, but don't be so deaf as not to hear it from the one who says it from his heart.

Ooh, I like this one. Sounds so sweet and romantic, like those korean dramas and all. There will always be this person the main character likes and idolises, only to realise later on that her true love is actually the one by her side all along and is secretly doing things for her without her knowledge. Ahhh....But once again, those are shows. In real life, sometimes you never get it(cos you're freaking dense!) even when the "one who says it from his heart" is screaming "I LOVE YOU" really really loudly but you cant hear it, because he's saying it inside him and willing you to hear but obviously you cant. After all, we humans are clearly no mind-readers!

Okay there're still plenty more to go but Im running out of TIME so for the moment I shall stop my rants and blog about other stuffs first and see if there is still time for more analysis of those sayings.

I fell asleep last night with my MP3 player still playing. But when I woke up at 3 it stopped. Probably ran out of battery. Why Im blogging about this irrelevant happening about my mp3...I also dunno. Maybe just to hint to someone that I might need a better mp3 that can last longer? Heehee but then again, its not like my parents will buy it for me even if they read this.

Oh and Germany beat Portugal 3-2. Serve those peacock proud portuguese right! Alright, its a rather unfair comment since on the whole, the main culprit responsible for being proud(to me) is merely C. Ronaldo. I have no idea why, but since a very long time, this player has been on my "Kan bu shun yan" list. Perhaps its the way he likes to dive and act and all. Aye boy...want to act don't be footballer la..go be actor better...

Im minutes to being chased off the comp so looks like I cant continue with my critical(okay not really critical...) analysis...

OFF!!

2008-06-19T20:20:00.000+08:00

Cliche start: Time.

Its running out real fast, like water spilling out from a broken vase. There were times during the holidays that I thought time was passing too slowly for my liking. But now, when the realisation that there is so much to do came upon my enlightened soul, the clock is ticking way faster than I'd have liked.

Went to the macs at science centre for group study on tuesday. I ended up being the earliest. Joined by yiwen, yihui and baby thereafter. After not seeing them for so long(at least a week!) we had plenty to catch up on. Practically talked about all sorts of rubbish and analysed people and stuffs. Of course, we didnt forget to do our work too. So it was a just nice mixture of work blended with play.

The journey back was a long one. Thankfully, I had the company of yihui and she kept me thinking with all her cheem answers and logic.

Wednesday was the first day I really exercised throughout the whole holiday. Had a mini 1.5hrs badminton workout session with Papa Kok, Mama Kok and Pig cum Idiot Kok. It was tiring but super enjoyable. I felt so good exercising after being a couch potato for so long. I had neck ache after playing with my dad. He kept hitting all those high shots that required me to constantly look upwards and take aim at the spiraling shuttle cock. The "shuangness" of badminton made me remember why I consider it my all time favourite sport to play.

After that I joined Sheena to study together at macs(again) at around 2. The whole study session was relatively productive, considering the fact that I completed my maths assignment(with a few parts I couldnt do though...) as well as one tiny part of chem...Dinner was Subway!! Yumm...Cold Cut Trio was really nice. After dinner we went back to macs to study more but I think after dinner I just totally lost all the mood to study.

Our table was beside these two girls, who looked really like Ah Lians in terms of their dressing and actions etc. I excused myself to use the loo and when I returned, Sheena told me(or rather wrote on a piece of paper) that one of the 2 girls asked her, "Ni you mei you chou yan?(Do you smoke?)" and poor sheena got so shocked at the question she failed to give any reply. I think the other girl(nicer probably) could tell that her friend had scared sheena so she muttered to her that her friend is just joking. And then they asked her how to spell "cardigan" ...

Erps...

Okay I think they're amusing. daring and amusing. They just simply can talk to anyone they don't even know!

And today I went to science centre AGAIN to mug with yiwen and baby. Yihui was supposed to come too but in the end she backed out since she got too lazy to come! LOL. So typical of her...:)

We were talking lots of crap again as usual. But crapping is good-I adore it! Then later on we played "Cheng Yu Pictionary" I drew all over yiwen's chem book and made them guess what cheng yu that was! It was actually quite fun! But I do realise that I could hardly remember much of the 250 I painstakingly memorised a few years ago...

Baby just told me that she and yiwen are both sick, down with flu! Awwww...poor things. Hope they get well soon!!

Okay baby also gave me this viwawa link which looks really cute, so Im off to check it out!

OFF.

2008-06-14T20:41:00.001+08:00

Finally I've found the time to blue tooth these pictures to my sister and post it online!

My dear cute boys, from left:Daniel, Wesley, Brandon and Sheng Yang

The Twins Effect: Gabriel and Nicole

And in the background, you get a tiny peek of my super lame and funny partner

My 2 favourite boys: Darlings Ryan and Terence...On the right is wesley

AND once again, another peek at partner, clearer this time but who the hell is waving that piece of paper??

Same three again...My 3 musketeers( is that how you spell it?)

Joshua placing a straw on his teeth! And in the background you see Gabriel in his own world again, as usual.

2 of the sweetest girls in class.Left is Zoe, quiet and obedient, Right is Abigail, lively and enthusiastic...

Joshua again, wearing a file as his hat. His eye lashes are at least 2cm long!

Band Concert! I didnt turn on Flash so its pretty dark...

Adidas Sundown Marathon! At first only got me, baby and owner, but qiao said that if there are only 3, the middle person(=me la) would disappear, so Yini and simin came into the picture, saving my ass.

Finally, a picture my mom drew of my dad. The resemblance is uncanny!
I tried getting her to draw me but she refused!! Gah.

Went for father's day dinner today at Swensons! And i got a packet of Prince Caspian's Cards wheeeeee

Im off!

2008-06-13T22:47:00.000+08:00

I love the stars. The way they glimmer and sparkle in the dark sky. Just wish there were more starry nights in Singapore though.

It's been one entire week already.

Believe it or not, Im over it. Or at least, making myself believe that. It's sad how you may be so sad about certain things at the very moment but eventually you will simply forget and you don't even care that you've forgotten once new things enter your life. Thats human nature I suppose.

Father's day is coming soon!

And we're going to Swensons for dinner! Hopefully, we'll win another pair of tickets from their lucky draw HAH.

I wish I had been more productive these days but my concentration span is seriously the limiting factor!! Only managed to do about 7 bio summaries in all. And thats after three weeks? Oh gosh. I'd better buck up. Yet all I can think of is the ways to play in the remaining days of holiday...

Gonna study with part of GC on tuesday. At science centre! I really do hope I'll do constructive work and not be a constant distraction to the rest when they try to study. Oh wells. I've pretty much built up a reputation of being a "not good to study with" mate, because all I ever want to do is to talk or think of things to play. Gah!

Alrights... end of another short post.

Im off.

2008-06-09T21:40:00.000+08:00

Been reading through my previous entries and noticing how exceptionally gloomy they've become. It was then I decided that the more I blog about how sad I feel, the more these feelings become more real and the sadder I get. Thus, from now on, NO MORE blogging about dvc until I go work there again, or when I remember something funny from there.

Today was pretty unconstructive to tell the truth. I had actually wanted to make full use of this week to study so that I have full reason to not attend dvc for another week. In the end all I did was the summary for cellular functions and enzymes. How pathetic.

No mood to do anything.

Prince Caspian was not bad. In fact for once I didnt have much to complain about a movie made using books as reference. Other than the weird and unnecessary romance between Caspian and Susan. High King Peter was super good looking in the boyish yet arrogant way. I think watching him can make for forget dvc for a moment. Edmund was cute too! But I think the girls were quite a disappointment in terms of looks though. Susan is so.... Well, I don't think she's the type of candy my eye wants to see.

Treated both my mom and my sis to Cafe Cartel using my dvc paycheck, so now im $50 poorer. Not complaining too much though, the food was really not bad. The pork chops were tender and succulent. Yumm. My computer is becoming ill again. It kept getting hanged just now. Drats.

Tired. Although I hardly did anything. Off to bed.

Im off.

2008-06-08T19:09:00.000+08:00

Im so sick and tired of emo-ing that I've decided to kope this from my sister and just do this meme thingo for fun. And get my mind off things.

Q1. If your lover betray you, what would your reaction be?

Depends on what sort of betrayal I guess, and whether he is repentant. If he is, I'll be angry for a week, then forgive. If he isnt, well, then goodbye and get out of my life mann.

Q2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?

Right now, at this very moment, it would be to repeat my week at dvc as well as to be given permission by my mom to continue working for another week. Maybe, after my feelings for dvc has died down, I'd ask for something else, but now its very much centred on what I've just lost.

Q3. Whose butt would you like to kick?

Um, my sister. But I wouldnt dare to actually. Cant imagine what she would do back to me if I really did that!

Q4. What would you do with a billion dollars?

Wow. A billion dollars! Firstly, I would take about 10 million out for investment, so that all these money would last a longer time. Then maybe, just to share this fortune, I'll donate another 10 million to charity. And I'll probably buy myself a small island, build comfortable houses and stay there with people whom I love. I'll probably bring my family to tour the world in 80 days too!

Q5. Whats your ideal lover like?

Haha! I always have fun describing this. Ideal lover must be humourous, thats really the top of my list since I get bored really easily and I definitely need a person who can entertain me. And a person who understands me well, knows when to talk and when to lend me a listening ear. Someone who is able to tolerate all my flaws and accept all the stupid things I do and the dumb questions I ask. Oh yeah, and must be someone who banters with me too!

Q6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved?

Used to think its loving someone but have sinced changed my mind to being loved.

Q7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?

Probably will not wait, unless there are signs that the person likes me back :)

Q8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?

Nothing. Remain friends and find someone unattached to secretly like.

Q9. Is there anything that had made you extremely happy?

Erm...dvc? The adorable kids, oh-so-funny partner, and sweet like sugar teacher. (Told you I cant stop thinking bout dvc)

Q10. Name the one thing that floats in and out of your mind.

One thing?? Maybe its my mom's nagging words...They usually float in through my right ear into my mind, then float out of my mind through the other ear.

Q11. What takes you down the fastest?

Eh? Don't understand question. Take down to where? Hell? If so, then its probably commiting crimes and then suicide. Sure go to hell.

Q12. How do you see yourself in ten years time?

Pathetic creature trying to make ends meet. Okay, Im kidding. But I cant see myself in ten years time since I really have no idea what I want to do in future. Most likely some math related stuffs, or maybe something that requires interaction with kids?

Q13. Who is currently most important to you?

No idea. I think this person changes every now and then to suit my needs. It all depends on my mood etc.

Q14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?

No one. As I said earlier, I got too bored that I koped it from my sister.

15. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?

Married and poor but on one condition-I must really love my husband and vice versa...

Q16. What's the first thing you do every morning?

Look at my clock and wish that I could turn back time.

Q17. Would you give all in a relationship?

nah, Im too pessimistic to do that. But I'll probably just try my best to be understanding...

Q18. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?

Hmmm...the one I cant do without. If its both...then see who treats me better, and who is more sincere.

Q19. What type of person do you hate?

Bitchy and sucky and irritating people who are scheming and take advantage of others. And think they are so good and all...

Alright. Done.

Went to band's concert yesterday with yiwen, yihui, sheena and we were joined by sherf after dinner. I think being with my friends made me forget dvc momentarily and it took my mind off emo-ing. We ate at some asian teahouse-roasted duck and prawns with bacon. Quite yummy I must say. The concert itself was a little sleep inducing in the first half and I felt that I was being hypnotised to sleep. But the second half was really amusing and entertaining. Mayqi looked super cool and cute doing all those dance actions, albeit being a little stiff.

Baby was so cute too in her band "uniform". We were waving to her from down where we are but she didnt seem to see us.

The concert ended after 2 encores. I was being rather mean by giggling hysterically at the conductor's actions. He seriously looked as though he was dancing! The whole thing ended at around 10 plus? I cant really remember. Then we went to find mayqi and baby to give them flowers. And it was picture time! At one point of time I tried to be a smart alec and stuck my two fingers out when sheena was taking a photo for kejia and sherf. Then the result was that my fingers blocked out the flash! And the pic turned out too dark. Ah wells...so much for my ingenuity.

By the time I reached home it was already around 11.30. I sat down with my bah zhang just in time to see ubez(wadever) score one goal against singapore to beat us after we worked so hard at defence. Ah wells.

I went to bed quite late so I was so tired, I fell asleep almost immediately. But my entire night was plagued with dvc related dreams, so much so that through out the night I drifted in and out of sleep, unclear about whether my dreams were true or not.

No matter though. Time heals all wounds. Im sure that in a few weeks or months time I will look back at this in amusement and wonder why I was so affected by it.

On the bright side, Im meeting munyee next week! Haven seen her for such a very long time!

Ok...Im off.

Regardless of whether I want to or not, I will forget...eventually.

2008-06-07T10:28:00.001+08:00

If there's any title suitable to describe my very last day at dvc this june, I'd call it "My poignant experience". No, poignant is too mild a word, and it doesnt fully describe those jumbled up feelings I had. Perhaps "A rollercoaster ride of emotions" would be a better one. Gah, what am I doing thinking up of titles for no apparent reason...

I arrived in rgps in the morning feeling lighthearted, yet there seemed to be a burden on my shoulders. The feeling was undescribable and unbearable. At one point of time, I just wanted the day to pass quickly so that I can get over it as quickly as possible. I threw my bag down in the empty A9 classroom and had a good look at the place where I had such a great time over the past 5 days. And then when I walked back down to the canteen, everything felt so at home with me. I felt as if I had been there for a long long time and I was going to be there for as long as I want, except that it not true-Im not coming back again, at least until december.

How ironic life had been for me. Merely a week ago, I had commented on how the place had seemed so unfriendly and aloof, cold and unhomely. Now, its the exact opposite... I reached the canteen just in time to see Nicole arrive. She complained to me that she was late because her mother didnt want to wake up so early. The rest of the "waiting for the kids to arrive" morning was pretty much a blur, since I was so absorbed in my own world and being emo.

Friday was seriously the funniest of all funny days. I think my partner got so warmed up to the kids that he had no qualms about doing all those weird actions and saying the lamest stuffs to keep us laughing non stop. I laughed til I had a side stitch! During break, my partner and I stayed back in class to cut circles, with Nicole beside us complaining about how slow we're cutting them. Obviously, in this case, the culprit is my partner, who cant cut for nuts!

We finished all the experiments slightly after lunch so that we could practise for our concert item later in the afternoon. Lunch was burgers and baked potatoes, which was the best lunch we've had for days. Making all the props for our skit was the messiest! Like my partner had said, the whole room just turned into 第二世界大战, with them using all the props to fight each other and all. The whole scene was so chaotic and disastrous. My partner devised a way to make spears for them. At first I was quite doubtful that it was going to have any resemblance of a spear at all. Turns out that I neednt have worried. It did look like one. No wonder he's in aero engineering! After helping him with the spears, we compared the first spear made and the last spear made. There was a stark contrast in the quality indeed. Shows exactly how practise makes perfect. Speaking of that, I finally managed to pull the wheezles and start it off without turning it after trying it out today. My partner taught me the technique of doing it in the hall while watching other classes perform. Its really amazing how he manages to get that thing to keep turning and turning nonstop so effortlessly.

Anyway, back track a little. When we were in class before lunch, Ryan came to me and slit a piece of brown cardboard into my pocket.

"Jie jie, you only can read this when you go home okay?" He looked at me so innocently and worried that I would read it now that I immediately promised him that. Unfortunately, I am a rather curious person and when he was not looking, I whipped it out and took a peek. There, on a triangular piece of cardboard were just 6 words that were enough to make me so touched.

"I will miss you, from Ryan"

Especially when it came from him, the act don't care about anybody kind.

The rehearsal for the skit took only 3 tries before time was up. My partner and I just sat on the steps of the stage and watched them practise. Mean old him made so many degrading comments about a certain kid in class which was so funny I just had to laugh even though it was downright mean of him. When we were watching other classes perform later, he even commented that one child looked exactly like a hamburger! The first class performed something to do with 3 little pigs if I remember correctly. There's definitely something about pigs thats all I know. My partner said as a matter of factly, " Aye? 三只小猪啊？奇怪了，为什么你不在上面？"

Gah!

And then somehow I dunno what led to it, but he was talking about kang kang and laughing until tears came out of his eyes. I was super amused by how he was so super amused by what he said. Zi high this is what I call. Our class's performance was really not bad, considering that we only practiced 3 times and everything was done today. My partner said that they had stage fright.

Then when I was sitting there chatting with my partner, Terence suddenly hugged me from the side and gave me his huge cheeky grin. Oh mann, it was so sweet and cute I just wanted to bring him home there and then. Too soon for my own liking, the whole thing was over and the kids scattered all over the hall and out of the entrance. But that was not before Ryan and Terence both told me that they would never ever forget me. I stared at the back of the leaving kids, watching until they were no longer in sight, with a lump in my throat and unable to speak at that moment.

In a flash, debrief was over. I had my cheque and receipt and I submitted the survey form. I was free to go already, no longer bound to the camp by any contract of sorts. Yet, I didnt want to leave. It was the same as a bird being held captive for too long not wanting to leave its cage even when the door to its cage is open. I wish that I could possess the same mindset as my partner-"Don't know, don't bother" or is it "Don't bother, don't care". Main purpose here is to get his money. Oh wells. Money is one thing, but the joy of working with these kids has a greater lure for me than the dollars.

I walked to the bus stop with my partner. Or rather, he was behind me. We didnt talk since he was on his phone. AND he was speaking english for the longest time I've heard! Still come and say he not used to speaking english. While waiting for my bus, I still felt pretty alright. But when my bus came, and my partner bid me goodbye, I got up the bus and nearly cried in public. The overwhelming feeling of emptiness and knowing that I probably would not ever see these kids and my partner again or interact with them brought up all the hidden emotions within. My pride was all that prevented me from tearing in the bus. The whole journey was a rollercoaster of emotions. I thought back of the funny times I had in the week and laughed. I thought of the angry times I had due to the kids and smiled. Finally, I thought of today as my last day, pictured my partner waving goodbye, saw the kids running off to their parents, rewatched Ryan and Terence telling me that they won't ever forget me, took out that brown cardboard Ryan gave and I was gritting my teeth, willing myself not to cry in public.

I was so listless by the time I reached home that I wondered if my mom would sense anything when I got home. As usual, when she opened the door, I forced a smile as if nothing has affected me, and went straight to bathe. Once the door of my toilet shut, I stopped controlling and just cried on and off. At some point of time, I almost couldnt be sure of whether the water flowing down my cheeks were the shower water, or just tears. It sucks mann. Sometimes I wish I wouldnt be so sentimental over such stuffs and just be immune and MOVE ON. But then again, there would be no joy if that were the case. Yet, ironically, the joy experienced brings you even more pain eventually. Its an agony having to decide between no emotions or feeling happy at first then miserable later when its all over.

Sighs...I hate saying goodbyes no matter how inevitable they are...

Im off...to emo some more.

2008-06-05T19:10:00.000+08:00

This morning's incident left me feeling rather guilty. The day before, I promised Nicole that I would turn up early today so that she can play with me. Instead of being early, I ended up being later than usual. She looked rather unpleased with me for that. The surprising thing was, my "always late" partner actually came earlier than me! We went to check on A9 blue's crystal garden early in the morning and it turns out that theirs were growing way better than ours!

The trip to the airforce museum was uneventful and I simply lazed in the bus, humouring whatever kids who came to talk to me. The museum was a bit of a disappointment to me though, since I was expecting more hands-on things there. Once again, we divided the kids into groups and each one of us took a group of the kids around. Thankfully, mine were rather well behaved this time and they didnt run about too much. My partner commented (rather unrealistically) that the mess the children can make is equivalent to the destruction caused by 4 atomic bombs. I scoffed at that.

We got ticked off by the person in charge for letting the children eat in the museum. Before watching a 10 minute clip on the air force, he gave us a stern warning that we were not to let the children eat there for future visits to the museum. Wesley and Nicole both argued over who was to sit with me on the journey back. I felt like some kind of toy being torn apart by who kids who want the same toy and refuse to share. I was really quite tired of having my fate decided by them and not being able to choose where I want to sit at, like my partner. In the end, Nicole won and I sat with her.

Lunch was fried rice with 2 drum sticks. I got an extra 2 and gave 1 to my partner. Through out lunch, ryan and terrence were both complaining about our camp commander not allowing them to play without eating. They looked so adorable pouting away! Apparently 3 drumsticks wasnt enough for my partner and he set off to take his second packet of rice with another 2 drummies, which led me to whisper to Ryan that gor gor is like a dinosaur since he eats so much. Immediately, that sparked off a series of insults aimed at my partner about how fat he was, how bad he was, how he is all the bad things in the world. I really must take my hat for him for being totally unfazed by all these insults hurled at him and he continued eating like nobody's business.

Then, when the kids could no longer take his nonchalance, they quipped, "Gor gor, why you no reaction one?" My partner then said as a matter of factly, "Its not true so why should I react?"

The rest of the day was spent sitting at the back of the class with my partner cutting out dimensions for the kids. And that was when I realised the full extent of his lameness. Seriously, I was laughing so hard at some point that I got afraid that it'd morph into some uncontrollable fit of giggles which would really embarrass me to the core. I was trying my very best to rack up something to insult him with, but in the end it always didnt manage to do so.

At one instant, he made a comment which I only heard after making him repeat him statement several times either due to me being slightly deaf or just him being unclear with his speech. I would like to think it was the latter though. Then I went "Ya..." and paused in the midst of my cutting, the clockwork in my brain working to digest what he said. Then my brain told him to reject his comment and rebut it. So, obediently, I was just about to do so when he suddenly said mainly in chinese, "You dont have to keep stopping you know. You can always cut first then rebut. I know you everytime say Ya, then you will stop and think "Ay? Actually what he say is not correct leh" and then start to rebut de." I was so stunned, I forgot what my rebuttal was. In any case, at least I'm doing something useful by rebuttal. Ducro is always telling us to practise our rebuttals anyway...

Later on during the folding of some air planes, my partner commented that one part of the plane is quite useless since it obstructs the flying due to some V theory and I was listening intently until he muttered something under his breath. Then silence.

"Did you hear what I said?" He asked in chinese (duh).

I broke off from my part daydreaming. "Huh? What did you say..."

"Never mind since you missed it I shant repeat it."

And obviously, that made me curious and I bugged him until he finally repeated it. " Wo shuo...Zhe ge bu fen qi shi shi duo yu de...because of the V theory. Useless. Gen ne de zuo yong cha bu duo yi yang..."

Ugh! And then he was smiling and looking pleased with himself. Sometimes I wonder if he feels obliged to suan everyone around. He keeps saying our generation's chinese is "孙先生坐在船上" which means 逊！

Sighs. Time really flies when you're enjoying yourself. Tomorrow would be my last and final day at dvc. Once again, Im filled with dread at being forced to study from now on and not being able to do things I like to do. When Im at rgps, I feel so carefree and worryless and detached from any bit of studying. Sighs and I will certainly miss them loads, including miss chua and my qian bian partner too. She's a really nice teacher mann.

Okay Im done for the moment.

Im off.

2008-06-04T22:01:00.000+08:00

Oh mann. Its already Wednesday! Time is passing so quickly but I really don't want this week to pass at all. Im liking the kids more and more and enjoyable dvc so much that I don't want to stop. It makes me feel as if there is a purpose in my life. Im being useful by being there for the kids when they need me, helping them and talking to them or playing with them. 2 more days left with these adorable kids...

The worst part of the day is the start of everything, before I get warmed up to talking to the kids and opening my mouth to speak. Early mornings are horrid because I will simply end up sitting alone at A9 bench and stoning(which is conserving energy!). This morning wasnt so bad since I was joined by dear Nicole soon after my arrival. She sat with me and we both chatted together until the other children plus my partner came.

Today's experiments were a lot more fun and they really tested the children's creativity. I must admit that these children certainly had way more creative juices than I ever had! I had so much fun looking at all the stuffs they did. My partner even commented that it seemed like I was having more fun than the kids! But after a while he also went round looking at all those stuffs they did.

The wheezles(however you spell it) experiment was damn fun! But it was irritating to the max as well. Somehow my partner managed to get that thing to work and he attempted to teach me too. But no matter how hard I tried, it still didnt work for me! I got so exasperated that I made my partner repeat what he did so that I could observe closely. Then Nicole came up and wanted to see what he was doing. So he tried to teach her too. And it didnt work for her either! We were both bugging him for the trick to that experiment when he did something totally out of character! I never ever expected him to do that mann!

My partner placed the wheezle thing down on the table, then did some act cool slick hand actions copying americans and said in a mock british accent, "So easy!" Nicole's jaw practically fell open at his comment. I totally burst out laughing like mad. Even my partner seemed amused by himself and nicole's reaction too. The next few minutes were spent watching nicole frantically persuading my partner to repeat his action so that she could record it down in her phone. Obviously, he refused to do so but he made some weird actions instead.

I used to think that my previous dvc partner was bad enough since he kept niao-ing me non stop but this new partner is worse! The thing is, I cant niao him back! Gah. And it's quite clear to me that he is deliberately saying all those stuffs to piss me off! Except that Im not really pissed, more like amused at all the different ways he can make me completely speechless. Oh, not only speechless but dumb too.

Oh, and he made me feel like a kid under his wing too. In the midst of one experiment, he gave me 3 toothpicks and told me to form 3 equal triangles with it. Then he went to carry out the experiment and told me to "man4 man4 qu4 wan2 ba" ...

Like I was some kind of kid to pacify and keep me occupied so that I wont disturb him! Haha, but the challenge set did get me excited though. Im in fact really no much different from the kids in class. Perhaps that is why I, like most of the kids, cannot understand half of whatever he says.

When I was asking him about army stuffs he told me some chinese term which I didnt understand. So I was like huh? Then he said it in english, and clearly me with my limited knowledge didnt know either. So I stared at him blankly and huh-ed again. To which he gave a long exaggerated sigh and then said he only can speak english and chinese, malay and tamil he cant speak...gah!

Hmmm, but even though I was quite exasperated by him(and him me i think) somehow he feels just like what an older brother would be. Because even though I think he got quite tired of answering my endless simplest basic questions about experiments, he will still eventually explain it to me.

.....I WANT AN ELDER BROTHER!!!

Sigh...there are so much stuffs I want to say but things are really hard to put into words. If only there is a way to simply locked up all the events which happened and then view it again when I feel like it.

Gabriel gave me a blue slip of paper with a drawing of a fist clenched in a GOOD! action. Seriously, his drawing is superb for a 9 year old. This kid has clear potential in drawing as well as science. The day before he actually called me to his table and showed me a drawing of some machines used for recycling glass. Then he actually explained to me the machanisms and how glass can be recycled! I was awestruck by him totally.

Okay...enough with gushing over him. Its late...

Im off!

2008-06-03T18:47:00.001+08:00

Today wasnt as tiring as yesterday-I think yesterday was so tiring because I was suffering from the effects of saturday's sleepless sundown marathon.

As usual, I was early to reach again. The one bad thing about being the only one from my class there is that I have nobody to talk to when Im there early in the morning. So I just sit at the bench, pretending to be occupied by my handphone, bag, etc. I even made an unnecessary trip to the toilet!

Then finally my teacher came. And soon after the children and my partner came. The trip to the botanical garden was, truth to be told, a really boring one. I didnt care for all the flowers and trees and stuffs at all. Besides, I didnt know anything about them. So all I did was to yell at the kids, "Okay, move along! Walk faster!! Don't walk there!"

I cant really remember much about the trip but I did realise that by the time we got onto the mini van on our way back, I was already given several nicknames by them. Some called me Abalone(common and expected since i get that from my school mates last time too), exterminator (This one is seriously surprising. I didnt think I look any bit like a person who can exterminate others...hmmm) as well as umbrella jie jie(since I keep helping them hold their umbrellas) and thermometer(I dunno how the hell did this name come about! Seriously no link at all!)

When we got back to rgps, You Xiang(my partner's name) told me that Nurul lost my umbrella because she left it in the bus! I dont blame her, since kids can be really careless and I understand that perfectly, but I cant help feeling worried about what will happen if it rains on my way home. Lunch was terrible. Just weird lumps of rice with one measly piece of chicken and a slice of cucumber. Okay but at least it was better than last year's food. I think.

After lunch I began wandering around again, wondering(You notice that when I start wandering around, my mind will wonder about stuffs too) whether I should go to the playground and help them turn the playground thing again. Then I spotted Nicole( Gabriel and Nicole are twins!!) and she told me she was bored with playing at the playground, so I suggested going to play basketball. It was definitely a right choice mann. Even though the ball and floor was all wet and yucky, but it was the most fun break I've had so far! We tried all sorts of angles to shoot the ball into and then tried to shoot from far. The far shots mostly failed though. We don't have enough arm strength.

My partner joined us for a while. He's so tall (1.82cm!) he could even do a slam dunk! But I think after a while he kinda got bored and just left for the playground...maybe to help them turn that thing? Haha. Soon after, we were joined by a few guys and a girl. So we split into two groups-girls team and boys team. Mind you, there are only three girls compared to about 5, 6 boys. But at the end of the "match", the girls team won 8-3, with me and nicole scoring the 8 shots. Eventually near the end, because the girl's team was winning by such a large margin, a few boys actually said they wanted to join the girl's team instead! LOL.

I was so tired after running up and down the basket ball court that I simply just sat at the back of the class, exhausted. As usual, the experiments revealed to a large extent of my limited knowledge to my partner, who was at times so exasperated that he asked(in chinese), "你在学校是读什么的？" To which I replied, BCME. And then he just stared at me for a few seconds..."Then 这个你都不懂？"

Wahaha...yeah I know my science sucks. My partner practically had to explain every single simplest thing to me. I even had to bite my own tongue sometimes to refrain from asking those questions that would possibly cause him to vomit blood. At times I really think he was utterly disgusted by my ignorance in practically everything. Then there was an instance whereby I was saying some stuffs about borders to kenneth and he was just standing beside me, silently listening and observing. All of a sudden, he just laughed, took a paper or something and smacked me lightly on my arm saying, "你讲什么屁la! hahaha" and then he walked away, leaving me slightly puzzled, because I thought what I was saying made perfect sense to me.

After tea I got so sian of climbing up the stairs that I talked Nicole into taking the lift up to the third floor with me. At first she appeared rather excited. Then when we were in the lift she got so worried about being spotted taking the lift and kept muttering about how she's in deep trouble. Oops. My fault heehee.

The art and crafts part was boring though. I just walked about doing nothing much in particular. Then soon(too soon actually) the day was over. And I kinda left in a hurry since it was beginning to drizzle, like I had expected, and I didnt want to get caught in the middle of the rain without any umbrella(since the kid lost mine). In fact, I ran all the way to the bus stop so that I wont get drenched. In the end, I didnt have to run since it continued to drizzle without the rain getting heavier. Gah. Heaven playing trick on me mann. I bet I must have looked so stupid running all the way to the bus stop as though chasing after some bus but in the end just plonking down on the seat and watching the bus(not my bus) leave.

Oh wells...Im looking forward to another day at dvc! And I seriously don't want it to end so fast! :(

Im Off!

2008-06-02T18:42:00.000+08:00

The dreaded day has finally passed. Well, almost. Woke up this morning with a heavy heart. While having breakfast I checked my horoscope.

It says: If things seem to be going badly for you, just keep pushing. Perseverance is the key to success right now. Your optimism might be your most important trait, so work it until things work out.

And I felt even worse. Being a believer of such stuffs despite my constant scoffings at its untrueness, it was obviously telling me that the day was going to start out bad. I didnt even think I had a good night's sleep due to uncalled for worries.

I reached NJ bus stop at around 7.20, much earlier than I had expected and hoped for. Started to think of what the hell am I going to do when I get to rgps. With the intention of passing as much time as possible so as not to reach the place so early, I strolled leisurely, even pausing to look at NJ sign boards along the path. I was close to inspecting the leaves of the tree of grass on the floor too! But somehow I managed to refrain myself possibly due to a hidden optimism in me that maybe there are other early birds too who can talk to me and keep me entertained. (There you go-the optimism part of my horoscope.)

Despite all these measures and "precautions", I still reached rgps super early. The surprising thing was, I may have supposedly slowed down considerably but I reached the place in a mere 10 minutes! So at 7.40, I wandered around the place wondering what to do to pass time. Eventually I ended up in my classroom. There was nobody. I plonked my bag down on the nearest chair, turned on the lights and started talking to myself.

So here is an example of the conversation I had with myself. Lets assume that I have 2 voices-Abe 1 and Abe 2.

In class:
Abe 1: Oh...so nobody's here yet.
Abe 2: Yeah its so early, what do you expect?
Abe 1: Okay since Im early, why don't I do something useful?
Abe 2: Like what? I feel so lazy... and tired

I decided to just give out whatever files there are and put them on the tables so that we wouldnt have to give them out later. Save the teacher and myself trouble, I thought.

At 8:
Abe 1: hey im bored to tears. Where is my teacher and the other camp leader??
Abe 2: Well who knows? they might appear really soon...
Abe1: Okay so what shall I do...
Abe 2: Hmmm lets do some exploring then!
Abe 1: Where?
Abe 2: How bout the classroom?
Abe 1: Oh, right. How fun.

About 15 minutes later, nobody had arrived at the class yet and Abe 1 was already close to turning into a stone already. The optimistic Abe 2 had inspected the whole class and would probably know where the tiniest ants were staying in their ant holes by now.

Abe 1: Okay its 8.30? The classrooms around are all empty... Am I at the correct place?
Abe 2: Eh... I think I remember someone saying we have to go down to wait for the kids!
Abe 1: Rightttt...you tell me only now.
Abe 2: Hey! We're the same person okay!
Abe 1: Gah.

Went down to the canteen and finally saw my teacher. Still totally clueless about who my partner is though. Eventually, after some "Oh YA pei ya soh" game, it was decided that this uni guy (I cant remember his name) was my partner. Oh, it was the same guy who helped me last friday. Looks like his help didnt go to waste after all.

Miss Chua(my teacher) was really good with the kids. The day went almost exactly like the first day of dvc at Tao nan. I hardly spoke to my partner much but I built rapport with some of the kids though. They were so adorable! I think I could pretty much remember at least 20 of them. The remaining 6...well I guess there are still 4 more days to get to know them.

The experiments today made me feel like a total noob. When I confessed to my partner that I don't think I would know the answers if I hadnt read the book, he gave me a "diao" look and started to explain the logic behind it to me. I guess all these are ABC to him, considering he is a uni student and is studying some aero engineering or something. I think by the end of the day he must be thinking Im some kind of clueless idiot who is worse off then those kids. Ah wells!

I was so tired at the end of the day that I could hardly even drag myself to the bus stop.

All in all, I think it eventually turned out to be a quite alright day after all. Although for once, I feel young when surrounded by uni camp leaders.

Alright, gotta stop since my sister is egging me to finish up so that she can use the comp.

OFF.

2008-06-01T20:10:00.000+08:00

Gosh. Yesterday felt like it was the longest day ever. Went for the sundown marathon at changi beach area. It was pretty fun actually. Dinner was at 5 plus, some rice with chicken and broccoli. Then we slacked around for a while before getting deployed to this turning point area in a van. Felt like we were being kidnapped since we were made to crawl into the mini van and sit on the floor in darkness while being shipped to our designated place.

We were all kidding around with the people fetching us there and this woman sitting in front even joked about how we were about to be sold for $2000. For that we were indignant and there was an immediate uproar. What?? We're surely not only worth 2000 right?

Our first deployment area was pretty fei actually. All we did were to stand there and watch the runners go by us. Then later we had our second deployment. We were divided into 2 groups and our group had to go to the bridge area to remember numbers of the runners who were coming in. We got damn high after a while, cheering the runners on. 0301 was so fast! He had a rather large headstart at 42km and was the first to come in for the whole 84km run too! AND he didnt look as though he was tired at all. 0226 actually told us that he would be back in 4 hours time, but we waited and waited and he still didnt come. So we left before cheering him to the finish line. Oh wells.

We managed to play a few games of bridge after all! Haha. We went home at around 7 plus and by the time I reached amk, I was already like a walking zombie. Almost delirious already actually.

AND i still had to go for tuition, which was hell. I could hardly open my eyes, much less think! What's more we were doing vectors! Gah.

Alright. Im off.

2008-05-29T19:26:00.000+08:00

Woke up this morning with a sense of dread and Sian-ness. I so didnt want to go to RGPS so early in the morning to attend some weird training session that they didnt even inform me about. But thee was this twinge of excitement too-at seeing some gc members again after so long...(Its actually only 5 days but to me its like eternity?)

As usual, I was late again despite the countless number of reminders by my owner to be punctual or she'll "spank me". I even ran all the way across the overhead bridge when she started to laugh and say she was only joking! And you tell me that ONLY after I ran across huh? Tsk tsk. But then this short run made me realise how unfit I've become. Just the short distance of an OVERHEAD BRIDGE is enough to get me panting so much. Oh dear...

It turns out that the training session is only for those who have never attended the camp before. But its okay, we dont mind accompanying yiwen! Left the training session feeling quite apprehensive and heavy hearted. I dunno why but the school just feels so foreign and cold and aloof...nothing like the homeliness of Tao Nan campus at all. I didnt feel at ease with the place and I just started to feel that I really do miss the Tao nan campus actually and the kids there...Maybe at the end of the year I'll opt back to TN even though its really further from my home.

I felt so frustrated and lost at this place. And Im really worried about my ability to adapt to this new school. Its scaring me and I felt so so troubled. But what started off to be a bad day actually took a turn from this point on.

I went with yiwen for lunch at the bus stop "opposite Bukit Timah Plaza". Okay we didnt exactly have lunch at a bus stop but rather the hawker centre near the bus stop. After weaving around the place we finally decided to eat duck rice. Personally I thought the food tasted okay, but the fussy food critic with me simply had to take one tiny sip of soup to immediately proclaim it not up to standards. And then another mouth of rice got her on about how they cooked the rice too soggy and the rice grains were not firm enough. I was awed. Wow, here is a potential food critic!

As usual, I was being my slow self and was once again eating at snail-pace speed. Thankfully, I have a nice and patient owner who was ever so willing to wait for me to finish up 2 or 3 mouthful of rice.(FYI: Others take 2 minutes to eat 2 mouths of rice...I take...20 minutes...)

Of course, I was not entirely at fault for being so slow. Yiwen was distracting me with her stories in RV and obviously, being the talkative little me, I was incessantly trying to match her storytelling prowess by telling her my own sec sch stories too. So it was pure exchange of information and some little bitching around...Its simply just chatting, but I feel like I was having the time of my life already! And there I was, at the start of the day, still worrying about how much fun 2 people can have.

I think I enjoyed the chatting so much that I continued to just sit there even after finishing my food(a miracle!) Then we finally left to scour bk plaza for the pool place. After treking through this weatherbeaten path under the hot sun, we eventually reached our destination. The cool air of the plaza was so welcoming I tell you. Especially since the aroma of Nasi Lemak greeted us at the entrance too.

But when we saw the pool place...I think we didnt really dare to enter. All guys! And rowdy looking ones too! So we decided on going to JE to pool instead. Pool was so fun!! Especially since I've been deprived of it for ages already! We played 4 games in total, with me winning the first 2 and yiwen winning the other two. I must say that the "stipes" balls are jinxed man! Whoever gets solid wins! LOL. Some balls just refused to drop into the hole! AND me and yiwen were "treated" to some free show going on at the table nearby too. Gosh, cant they get a room or something? Instead of kissing each other so intimately in public! Or at least squat down so that the table can block them from our view mah...

Yeah so after 4 fun games and lots of super nice shots and unbelievable shots too, we finally left the pool place with much reluctance. Then we went to the science centre to explore about! The shop there simply holds so many interesting stuffs! And there's this invisible ink thing that sounds just so cool! If I had already gone for dvc and well equipped with cash, there's a high possibility that I'll buy down half the stall's things!

The weather was to blame for the short time we spent there. If it wasnt so hot I guess we would have stayed out to play those stuffs longer! I thought the dinosaur was damn cool though! If only it moved about more... We savoured Mc flurry at macs too. And then we left after sitting around macs for some time. Thanks yiwen for walking me all the way to the mrt station! Haha...

And then it was a long and dreary journey back home again.....*its a long long journey....*

Yeah..tomorrow I have to go for the dvc setting up of camp again. Oh wells...

Im off.

2008-05-27T20:31:00.000+08:00

01. Something you wish didn't happen?

Yeah loads of times. Sometimes I wish half my life didnt happen but yet there are times Im grateful for whatever happened. Im weird. Bite me.

02. How do you feel now?

Bored of life and the holidays and just wish something exciting can pop up in this very mundane life of mine.

03. If you can fulfill one wish , what would it be?

Simple-I wanna be happy. Just give me whatever will make me happy, which Im not even sure of.

04. What are you doing now?

Being moody and stoning in front of the comp, doing these 20 questions which I koped from Renyue.

05. Important wishes for now?

Just to be happy, and for the people around me to be too.

06. If you can turn something in the past back , what would it be?

Too many. So many wrong decisions and things I did to hurt others. Then again, there's no point turning them. Without them, I probably wouldnt be who I am now. Nothing good of course, but at least I've learnt to be more careful with words and stuffs.

07. Do you love yourself?

Plain no. They say that the most important thing is to love yourself, but I cant seem to find anything worth loving about myself. Maybe with time I will, and I shall work towards it, but for now, nope.

08.What makes you happy?

Being with people who matters to me and to whom I matter. Indulging in good food and watching dvds with my sister. Playing pool, bridge, mahjong etc...Seeing my family being happy together and going on mini family outings to weird places like changi airport or pulau ubin.

09.What do you wanna change in you?

The lack of confidence plus laidback nature. I needa become more hardworking!! Especially with the nearing of my A levels. And to learn to place others before self. Thats gonna be hard I know...

10. What do you want most now, this instant?

I want ice cream and go overseas to have fun!

11.What type of person you like most ?

Funny and humourous. A person who knows when to speak and when to let you speak. Someone who really pays attention to what you have to say instead of merely just impatiently waiting for you to finish talking so that they can start talking about themselves again.

12. Are there anything you wish to confess now?

Haha! If there's anything I wanna confess I wouldnt do it here. I'd most probably confess directly to the party in question.

13. What is your definition of a dream house?

A huge spacious home surrounded by a mini moat. A glass ceiling to enable me to see the stars and moon at night. Wooden floorings to give my house a homely feel. A soft comfortable bed in a cosy room with a fireplace. But most importantly, there must be people I love living with me in this house.

14. Who will you go to when you are feeling low one day?

No one actually. I'll just keep them to myselves most of the time. Maybe I'll find my sister, but just to disturb her and get myself to stop thinking.

15.What do you hope to achieve?

Get 4 As for A levels (Short term goal)... but more importantly, after I graduate, to find a job which I truly enjoy.

16. What age do you wish to marry?

Well, someone read my palm and said that I had to get married by 26 or I never will. So based on that, I'll set the age to be 26. If by 26 Im still single, then you guys probably know that I'll remain an old maid for life. Sounds quite likely actually.

17. who do you miss most currently?

I dunno. A lot of people actually. Mostly my classmates...? And a few other non classmates...hmmmm

18.How many people made you angry for the past few days?

Didnt count. But I made myself angry too! Cant remember the reason though.

19. who will you kill after this survey?

Uh no one?

20.Do you think you're a bitch?

Haha! Of course not! Although I do bitch about people sometimes but they're nothing serious...

Okay done!

2008-05-26T20:42:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time, there lived a girl. She was neither pretty nor intelligent, but just a very average girl. Although she had no exceptional qualities, she had everything a person could ask for. Riches, a nice family, friends, a nice big house to live in. Yet she was not happy. She wanted to be pretty and talented and be the envy of others.

One day, she met a man smoking outside her house. The man called out to her and asked, "I have a bargain for you." There was something mysterious about this person that she couldnt place her fingers on. Perhaps it was the confident aura which the man emitted, she felt inclined to answer even though her parents had always taught her never to speak to strangers.

"What bargain?" She asked, unable to resist.

The man smiled a knowing smile, "I know what you want, and I can give it to you with no strings attached."

"Really?" The girl was unable to believe her ears, but she knew there was no free lunch in this practical world and she began to get wary of the man, which was a good thing because this man was, in actual fact, the devil himself.

*************

I really don't know what made me write that. It just came into my mind and being bored out of my wits at home, I just wrote whatever came to my mind...

I hate staying at home.

Im off.

2008-05-25T22:07:00.001+08:00

I realised that I didnt really blog about the last day of term 2.

It was a relatively enjoyable day though I personally felt sad at not being able to see my friends and laugh with them and just be there with them, enjoying their presence in my life. It was a rather bittersweet feeling. Imagine 3 or 4 months down the road, the feeling will be no doubt stronger by leaps and bounds. Im feeling nostalgic now, I have no idea why. I may not love my school but I do love my friends around me. Its really hard to imagine the days knowing that I wont see them so often again. No more chatting during lessons, no more jokes during GP classes, no more bridge in between lessons, no more weird but cute drawings on my worksheets...Oh dear. I don't want them to become the past. I just wanna keep them in present for life.

The last day of school was one of the most fun days of school, in terms of what the teachers did, not what we did. During maths lesson, mr song play Bingo! with us, as well as win lose or draw. The prizes were lollipops. Bingo was fun, for a short period of time. The thrill of the game is in the element of surprise and when you win. I didnt think the lollipops were very much sought after-we just liked the feeling of winning.

The talk of the day(for us CO2 peeps) was that even dear mr ducro decided that the last day of school was a day to have fun and not lessons and thus decided to let us play a game of Taboo! Surprise surprise! His excellency immediately muttered under his breath that if he had known ducro was so magnanimous on that day, he would have skipped GP. My sentiments exactly! Our tutor should feel honoured that he was the reason for our existence in school on that fateful friday.

Sadly though, the lesson didnt really end off on a high note, since ducro delved into uni entrances in the last few minutes of the lesson. He practically burst my bubble when he spoke of how difficult it was to get into Business And Accountancy Faculty in the local universities. And there I was, naively thinking that the hard to get in courses were just Medicine, Law and Business. It totally dampened my mood and now I've gotta come up with a back up plan, should I fail to meet the criteria of my "dream course". Sighs.

Im gonna have to work much much harder now. I dont want to but I have to. No choice, I dont want to regret again next year.

Anyway, after school, GC members went to Seoul Garden for lunch! We ate until our cute little tummies became all bloated with food before we left the restaurant. And then we went to esplanade library! Oh Oh Oh, on the way there we saw 4 totally adorable kittens with their mom! Me and dear yiwen nearly went nuts meowing the whole place down. If it werent for the sun burning down the back of our necks I bet that we would have stayed there playing with the kittens for a longer time.

I fell asleep in the library while the rest went to look for scores. And my position was ultimate. I was sleeping directly under the sign which says: "Sleep at home, not in the library"

OOPS. Too bad :P

But it was a nice place to sleep, frankly speaking. There was faint music coming from the piano practise room and i think the pianist was pretty good! So I had a nice sleep.

A few of us met online again for our bridge session! I cant believe how addicted I am to it. Its quite scary lor, the addiction. Im not good at the game, but i like the way you play the game with strategies and all. Oh wells.

I'd rather go back to school, all of a sudden. Its like Im living everyday feeling burdened by the lack of time to do this and that and I don't know what to do and what to study. I know I should study but my heart just wants to play! Im so frustrated by everything now!! Ughhh

Forget it. No point complaining now.

Im off.

2008-05-23T19:47:00.000+08:00

Yessssss Holidays are here finally.

A few things to comment on before I start to plan out whatever I want to do during the June holidays.

First up:

Common Test.

GP: Neutral. Im absolutely clueless about how I did for it. Its probably not going to be good, but at least i don't think I will fail that badly la.

Econs: Gosh. Econs was damn disappointing. I used to be able to get at least a B for case study for last year's CT plus Promos. But this time round....sigh, case study definitely cant help me...What can I say?

Maths: Even more disappointing. My best subject but yet Im not even sure of a pass! Dear me. I really think Im taking maths for granted....

Chemistry: No need to say much. Immediate failure.

Bio: I didnt really study for it due to an ultra high fever over the weekends. It hit 40.6 degrees! I nearly fainted when I saw that. Straight away I thought of Ah Wang and I was praying that I wont end up like him. So ya, I didnt get to study much and since Bio is a content based subject, you can guess how I did.

At least I spotted the correct question for Bio SPA. So when I saw the question, I had this really weird wide smile plastered on my face. And when the timer started I just vomited out whatever I remembered from the template. Never knew I could ever write 3 entire pieces of paper filled with words within an hour before!

Anyway, I got selected for DVC! week 2...Oh wells. Im kinda worried over my academics but then again, even if Im not selected, what makes me think that I will definitely do constructive stuffs? Better to go for dvc and get scared and study like siao after that.

Oh, and my partner turned out to be lanyingjie. What a small world indeed.

AND bridge. We're really nuts. We even found a way to play it online! Gosh. That was after we got chased away from KAP by the macs manager... oh wells.

Off to bridge!

2008-05-09T18:18:00.000+08:00

Seriously. I ought be burst my own little bubble and start coming out to face the music. Its 5 days to CTs and I've practically not started revising at all! Even my sister was kinda shocked when I calmly informed her of my CTs next week. She went, huh? Thats very soon! AND you haven even been studying!

Actually she didnt look very shocked. She said it more of matter-of-factly. I think she's so used to me slacking away that this situation was more familiar to her than if I had started any revision already. Maybe if I told her Im done with studying for CTs, she'd check if she was dreaming, then go find a bomoh to exorcise me.

This week is very aptly hailed as bridge week. Especially wednesday. I had fully intended to skip school, but the thought of econs tutorial made me think twice and drag my reluctant feet to the school gates of NJC. Alas! Ms Lee was not in school that day. So me, yiwen, cheryl and sheena went on a bridge playing spree. When we ought to be diligently studying for CTs. After school, there was an hour break before the track and field meet started and we played once again!

But thats not all! During the event itself, we practically dao-ed the whole thing to go to the canteen to play yet again. With the exception of the time when Sherf ran. She ran so fast! But sadly her team mates let her down and they finished fourth. I swear we're mad about bridge. Even after we got caught by the teacher for playing and had to sneak down weird passages to get to where the Terra house was, we were still thinking of ways to play it without people noticing. I thought that the sneaking about was pretty thrilling though.

Thursday was a day I should have just skipped, since it was mainly just consultation(for GP). I whiled away my time chatting with chew yan instead of being productive and studying econs. GP lessons seemed a lot more interesting after she got transferred to the front!

Finally, today sucked. Plain sucked. I don't really know the reason why though. Perhaps its due to CTs looming just around the corner and Im reminded that its near weekend already and I'd better get going or just go hang myself.

Baby was so eager to play bridge that we just pounced on every possible opportunity to do so. We managed to squeeze one game during our measly 20 minute break.

Oh dear oh dear.

Its time to do my "econs-application-to-reel-life" thingy again!

Direct taxes are taxes on income and wealth paid directly to the Tax Department. For example, as a student and a daughter of my parents, I get paid a measly sum a week for doing my duty(pretending to study and be good etc...hiding my bad habits...) As direct taxes, the overall head of the entire kok family Great grandma Kok will tax me directly from my allowance, such that instead of getting say 40 a week, I get 30...which is sad.

Indirect taxes are taxes on expenditure or production of goods and services. For example, out of my measly allowance, I pay taxes indirectly when I go out and spend due to the 7% GST charge which the singapore government implements. And the reason for using indirect taxes in SG is that it allows the government to reduce the direct taxes, such as personal income taxes, so that disposible income of people such as my DAD will increase and they will have more money to spend.

And then consumption will increase, although some people like my dad is too stingy to use whatever extra disposible income there is because his marginal propensity to save is very very high, and marginal propensity to consume low, unless you're referring to the money he readily gives away to the Singapore Pool. What a way to pool your money mann!

Furthermore, low income tax will also help to keep domestic talents in SG and attract foreign talents like honey is to bees. Why? Cos they can earn more money la! Money is so important. Money money money, always funny, in a rich man's world.

No wonder I don't find money funny. Im not rich boohoo.

Urgh I cant continue anymore. Brain has run out of creative juices! Shall momentarily stop blogging until CTs are over! Or maybe I'll just use this as a frustration ventor when Im too stressed out.

Hah. Like that's ever gonna come true. Maybe if prelims were the one coming around the corner yeah, but CTs? heck la.

Brings me back to my motto..."Flunk the tests, ACE the exams!"

Wheetles!

OFF.

2008-05-05T20:33:00.000+08:00

I knew that it was too good to be true. How is it possible that we have such a long weekend without any homework to complete? That was what I stupidly and happily believed in for the past three days until today I found out of the existence of GP homework!

I really must thank Yini though. If she hadnt messaged me to ask me which questions to do, I'd have totally forgotten all about it...and probably have to face the wrath of Ducro tomorrow. Or maybe secure the "break" meeting with him.

But thats not all the homework there is! Just realised that my skill A was not completed and spent an entire hour plus 10 minutes rushing it out. Im a goner for the real SPA...how is it even possible to write out that freak-shit long skill A within an hour without referring to any notes??

My mom was telling me about her childhood stories again this afternoon. I've probably heard them countless times already, but they still held me captive. Learn some new stuffs today though. I never knew that my mom and her family, back in kumpung days, slept on mats! Thats as good as sleeping on the floor! Its so hard, I really wonder if its possible to even fall asleep.

I myself cant even sleep on sleeping bags! Gosh, it sure shows how pampered our generation are. My mom told me how her life used to be fun, exciting, scary yet dangerous at the same time.

The fun and exciting element came from her playing all sorts of games with her neighbours and how she and her brothers used to take the boat out into sea. There were also all sorts of sea creatures around-horse shoe crabs, jellyfish, snakes, prawns etc.

Scary part was because of all the large insects that flew into her house at night. Huge dung beetles and mammoth-size moths! Okay Im exaggerating but the insects were just super large. I'd probably have a heart attack if I spot any in my house now.

Dangerous was due to the occasional gangster fights in their area, whereby those gangster run on their rooftops from house to house holding glass bottles and flinging them at whoever comes in their way. What a lifestyle to lead indeed!

Sighs. Its back to school again after the long weekend. Im already becoming accustomed to staying at home!

I want to play bridge!!

OFF.

2008-05-04T21:00:00.000+08:00

Firstly I must comment that the weather these days are horrible. Haven had a cool night for ages already! Argh.

During lunch today, I spotted a white spot on my Dad's arm and being curious old me, I asked, "Whats that white spot?"

My Dad observed that offending spot and said, "Thats a white pigmentation."

At the same time my mom quipped happily, "Its a sign of old age!"

My dad shot her a murderous glare.

I think that those spots were the infamously "lao ren ban" but the bans i know of were mostly supposed to be black or brown. So I asked my dad what the difference was. His reply was short and sweet.

"Oh, there are black and white pigments. Depends on what colour your skin prefers."

Erps.

I noticed a brown spot on my hand soon after and asked my mom, "Is this a black pigment?"

My dad nodded away gleefully. My mom, on the other hand, frowned thoughtfully and told me, "Thats not a black pigment...its housefly shit!"

....*Stunned silence by me*

"Ya!" My dad agreed with my mom enthusiastically and went on to describe how the housefly might have landed on my arm and started shitting on it. My mom helped by adding more details to it.

What an interesting pair they make.

OFF

2008-05-03T20:26:00.000+08:00

"Jie.." Dad calls. (Jie is what my parents call me. Chinese word for "sister"-to those who are too out of contact with chinese after two years of chineseless lessons to make the link.)

Me: Grunts

Dad: Jie...

Me: hmm?

Dad: Jie...

Me: What?

Dad: Jie!

Me: What LA!!! (losing patience)

Dad: Turn around and look at my toe!

Me: (*STUN) Huh?

I turn and look at the toe my dad specifically stuck out towards me.

Me: What's wrong with it?

Dad: Help me check if got blood.

Me: !!! *Peers carefully at that stinky big toe* No...no blood...

Dad: Okay good. Just now a can dropped on my toe so I scared got blood la...

Dad smiles at me triumphantly, as if he just told me the biggest secret ever. And then he turns back to watch his soccer match-Man U VS Westham! ( I realised that dad's expression looked slightly moodier when he saw that the score was 3-1 to United at 30 plus minutes...Probably betted wrongly)

Anyway, that's not my main point. The weirdness of his questions is something we all know already, by now. The point Im trying to make is-How lazy can my dad get?? Just how difficult is it to bend your bend towards yourself and have a good look at the state of your own big toe? And he HAD to keep calling and calling me until I turned and craned my neck just to observe the condition of his toe.

My sister experienced her first night in her new room, without me to accompany her. Needless to say, it wasnt a comfortable night for her and she could hardly fall asleep under such circumstances until it was quite late into the night. Whereas I had totally no trouble sleeping at all!

It would have been sweet if the reason for her insomnia was because I wasnt by her side and she couldnt sleep without her dear sister accompanying her. Alas! That was not so. The real reason was-The bed was too hot due to the uncomfortable bedsheet material! Over at my room I could hear her thumping about on her bed (with irritation I would expect) and then getting off her bed to pace about her room. Thankfully, although the weather was just as hot and humid over at my side, my bed was relatively cooler and obviously it was no feat for me to drift off into Dreamland.

Once again, this proves that my hypothesis (the grass is not always greener on the other side) is correct.

College Day was a total waste of time. I felt like I was squandering my already limited and precious time away by just going to school for a mere hour just to sit in the newly renovated LT5, now called Ngee Ann Kongsi. Some weird name indeed.

AND the weather is just freaking HOT. The weather was so warm and humid that I was in a rather grouchy mood. It didnt help much that I was seeing red everywhere. I mean literally. With all that red ties and the red seats in the LT5, one simply cannot help but feel his blood pressure rising under such extreme heat.

Got so bored with waiting that I ended up practising telling the Heaven's Coin story in sign language again. It striked me that I still cannot tell the whole story in sign language yet. But nevermind, I shall persevere.

I still have one and a quarter episode of Heaven's Coin more to go. Don't really want it to end though. Watching Kazuki and Mahiru's love can just be so bittersweet. It almost makes you think that love can make you overcome any obstacle.

I always seem to be siding with the supporting characters instead. Like how I'd rather Ah Feng go with Ah cheng, I would rather see Mahiru with Hiroto instead. Mahiru with Kazuki seems so like a perfect couple. Happy together, caring towards each other and always thinking about the other person's feelings. It just seems so surreal. So unrealistic.

Oh the other hand, Mahiru with Hiroto actually seem more perfect in the sense that their relationship is more real, something that you can expect to see in daily lives. Their playful banters with each other, and how they can open up and share their thoughts to each other...how they don't always agree with each other. This is the sort of relationship that lasts. Unlike the other, whereby Mahiru practically idolises Kazuki!

Okay, but the above is merely my own opinion though. Supporters of Kazuki-Dont slam me for saying that!

Went to dine at Prince with Jessica and Sheena just now. I think I've been overspending. What's that Econs term for it? Oh yes, disavings. I've been spending more than my allowance recently and even have to dig into past savings to maintain my expenditure! This is not a good sign....

Number of Days left to Common Test: 11!

Oh My God.

OFF.

2008-05-02T18:57:00.000+08:00

Time has never passed so fast. I didnt know that our CTs were just in two weeks' time! Oh dear oh dear.

Labour day yesterday was indeed labourous. We used up all the manpower at home to shift my desk into the room and my sister's desk from that room to another room. This signifies us going different ways from now on. We're getting our own rooms!

It felt really weird to see my table moved into the room. As I sat by my desk, I actually felt a sad, sinking feeling. I guess Im too used to having my desk out there in the bright dining room. Now that its somewhere in the dimly lit room, I just cannot help it but feel like my spirits are down too. Maybe this is due to the fact that I cant take changes well...

Surprisingly, Ms Lee didnt give us any homework for Econs this week! Of course, there is this unspoken(actually she did mention it) homework that we ought to be studying very hard for our common test. Oh wells. Indeed we should.

It is assumed that we have already started studying for our common test. However, truth to be told, I haven't. Detractors may feel that I am courting death, but I beg to differ. Not doing well for this common test does not necessarily mean the end of the world. As long as I work doubly hard after that, during the June holidays, Im sure that I would be able to overcome all these hurdles and meet the A levels with confidence.

Once again, I shall introduce my mantra: Fail the tests, Ace the exams!

Im stupidly and stubbornly believing in that. I've almost staked my life on it, so it'd BETTER come true.

Sign language is beautiful. Its so sad that my family doesnt appreciate the beauty of it. Thus, this means that I really do have nobody to practise sign lang with at home.

I think I have some kind of a fetish for hands. Nice hands. Somehow, of all things I notice, its the hands. How it looks so slender yet strong. Im crazy. I know I am. Previously, it used to be people's eyes. Now its the hands. What next? Ears, nose, mouth, legs, arms?? Bleagh.

Shikes. College Day tomorrow. It's time to don that ugly red tie once again. At least I'd get to sit on that 300 dollar chair in LT5. The bad thing is, the performances and stuffs will probably end at around 7.30 or later. This means that my dad will probably be watching whatever football match that is shown during that period of time. AND he wouldnt be able to fetch me home! DANG.

OFF

2008-04-30T20:05:00.000+08:00

Been watching a lot of movies recently. Just today, I went to watch Iron man with Sheena and Yihui. My fifth movie in this month. As usual, we bought a lot of food into the cinema to enjoy again. The shilin chicken tasted really good when you’re sharing it with others. And this time they didn’t put so much chili, so it tasted just right. We all ate pork with asparagus too! Yummy mann. Thinking about it now makes me drool. Wish I could have one stick right now to go with my bee hoon.

Today’s lessons were mundane as per normal, but learning bits and pieces of sign languages helped to keep me awake. While I was practicing sign language to myself and walking up the stairs, Mr Lim suddenly turned back and asked me, “Wah, talking to yourself ah? Do I need to call up Sharon Phua to see you for counseling?” THEN I realized that while doing those hand actions, I was actually speaking aloud too! Drats. Must have looked so stupid.

I think Im becoming more and more engrossed with sign language. After watching Iron Man, I even went to Bishan library to search for sign language books to borrow home to learn. Hopefully, me and Mayqi would be able to learn how to tell the heaven’s coin story using sign language soon.

Talking about being engrossed, sign language is not the only thing Im obsessed about. There is also….bridge. Yeah. We played it today too. This time, darling owner was the one on a winning streak throughout. She won every single game! But I benefited too, since I was her partner for every round except one. Is this fate or something?

Heaven’s Coin was pissening today. I just finished episode 6 and I feel like scolding kazuki for what he did! Oh wells, I can understand that he felt troubled over what he thought happened between Mahiru and Hiroto but the thing is-he wasn’t regretful about what he did at all! I hope its just momentary, and as I watch on he will try to make up to her.

Food for thought:

Is it possible to miss people even when they are around you most of the time? Is it possible to miss people when they are with you? Im really curious about these human emotions. Missing-an emotion Im not even sure if I’ve experienced before. What exactly does it feel like? Out of the whole spectrum of emotions available, I think the only ones I've experienced before are happy, sad, disappointed, worried, nervous, pissed...Okay actually its quite a lot. Never mind.

On the ending note:

Man U won barca 1-0 this morning! I was awoken from my sleep early in the morning by loud cheers and the commentator yelling something about Manchester United has done it! Its gonna be an All England Champions League final. Liverpool and Chelsea-guess who will make it to the finals?

OFF

2008-04-29T20:01:00.001+08:00

Chelsea won Man u 2-1 on saturday. Now that jose mourinho is no longer Chelsea's manager, I'd much rather they win than Man u. Oh, and Frank Lampard's mom just died not long. May she R.I.P.

Monday: "There are quite a lot to look forward to this week. First there is today’s half day-I dunno what sort of half day this is, since all we miss is one measly period of chem. But heck, at least got miss something. Then there is the Ben and Jerry’s Free Ice Cream day tomorrow! I cant wait to try the supposedly heavenly Chocolate Fudge Ice cream! Plus there is Labour day on Thursday! All these perks are just what makes my week a little more bearable and worthwhile."

On Saturday my parents and I went to Tiong bahru to queue up for the prawn and bahkut noodles which was shown on TV last Tuesday. We queued for almost an hour! (Okay, correction: My parents queued for almost an hour while I waited, sitting down. Feeling quite guilty about it already…)

When we finally had our steaming bowls of freshly made noodles, we all agreed that the wait was worth it. The prawns were fresh and juicy and the kway tiao was smooth and chewy. The chili was appetite stimulating too!

However, I think the main highlight of the whole dish would be the pork ribs. One bite into it and you can taste the tenderness and succulence of the meat. On the whole, the entire meal was delicious! After finishing one bowl, I was still yearning for more but the queue was still extremely long even at 3 plus in the afternoon. Hopefully, they will maintain their standards and still provide us with scrumptious prawn and pork ribs noodles next time.

During tuition on Sunday, I found out that NJ was just about the only freaking school who is having Common Test before the June holidays! Of course, the school is assuming that we are very motivated students who will work doubly hard over the June holidays after realizing that CTs results are not going to be up to the mark. Unfortunately my system just doesn’t work this way. After the CT I’ll just want to relax, Relax and RELAX. Oh wells. Somebody really needs to discipline me this holiday.

Perhaps its due to the influence of Heaven’s Coin, we started learning sign language actively yesterday. I learnt the entire alphabet sign language during Chem Lecture and then eventually moved on to words and short phrases referring to this book Mayqi borrowed from the library. I think its so damn fun!

Then later during contact I tried to pick up more phrases. Really taxing on my memory. And then Mr z tried to get us to memorise the kreb cycle products and glycolysis thing. And not to mention all those complicated rules of contract bridge which Kenneth tried to teach me, yihui and Jason later on. Talk about information overload. No wonder at the end of the day my head felt so heavy. Alternatively, it could just be because I feel like sleeping, or my grey matter has gained substance!

Yesterday’s PE was cancelled and made into a free period! I finally understood the true meaning of inflation, which means a rise in the price of goods whereby the same amount of money can no longer buy the same amount of goods. In this case, I paid the same amount of money but the rice I got from the Indian food stall was merely a handful. Literally. I think if you push the rice altogether, you can just scoop it up with one hand! And because the food was so little, I was still hungry and remained hungry all the way till I reached home at 4 plus.

When my sis came back from school yesterday, I witnessed her love for me once again. She was beaming widely and waving to me enthusiastically when I was unlocking the padlock. Alas! The moment I unlocked it and she was let into the house, she stopped smiling. So it’s all wishful thinking on my part, and a love of convenience on her part!

Talking about my sis, we’re going to be separated from each other really soon! On Labour Day, my parents are going to make full use of whatever labour available at home to shift my desk to the room so that me and my sis will each have a separate room! There goes our night chatting sessions…Oh wells. Maybe occasionally I’ll still pop by to disturb her.

Arsenal thrashed Derby 6-2!!! Damn. I bet it’ll be a super nice match to watch. Why didn’t they make it to be on Saturday or something? Bleagh!

My Dad was pretty conky this morning. He just started talking in Cantonese for no rhyme or reason. And he said he was trying to teach me Canto so that I can learn a new dialect. And in the lift, he suddenly flashed me a toothy smile, waved to me and brightly said, hello!! Weird. I thought it was something only me and my sister would do! I guess what my dad says is true. He may be old in age, but he’s still young at heart.

Ben and Jerry’s free ice cream day today!! We queued for two rounds of ice cream! I ate Chocolate Therapy and Cookie Dough ice cream! Yummy! They were heavenly. My gluttonous nature was revealed when I still had the stomach to eat oyster mee sua even after the two ice cream cones!

Today is Ah Wang’s last episode. And he finally learnt to accept the fact that sometimes, loving somebody doesn’t mean holding on to them tightly, but rather letting them go and setting them free to find their own happiness.

GP’s lesson was damn shiok. We spent like maybe half an hour or so in class completing whatever group work we were supposed to do. And then chew yan and I went to have our lunch! Joined by my beloved owner a while later! I was a bit shocked to see her when she came down. Too frightened that my owner will catch me eating something else other than grass. Surprisingly she didn’t scold me! Wahaha. And then after lunch, we played (no points for guessing right) Bridge! Two games only though, since we had to go for chem remedial later on.

Watching QIANG TAN! now. Hopefully, it'll mean that I have another new stall which sells good food to patronise with my parents this week.

OFF!

2008-04-25T19:58:00.000+08:00

Today's Math test was horrendous, as expected. I was hoping that by some miracle, I would be able to repeat my feat of passing without actually studying for it. Oh wells, must be thankful that I was lucky once.

Econs test was a disaster as well. Failed a supposedly "very easy" test which Clara Lee said it merely tested us on BASIC concepts. Guess Im still pretty unclear about my econs concept. AND common test is coming up in like 3 weeks or so? Damn. This is just so me, all talk but no action. Keep yak yak yak-ing away about how the tests are nearing and Im no worried that I'd do badly and all, and then? Go home and just dream up of all the possible policies that I could employ to solve the lack of motivation problem. Unfortunately, Im just discussing army stuffs on top of a piece of paper. (In case you cant do direct translation, I mean "Zhi shang tan bing")

Apparently, ms lee wasnt very happy about our test results and she just left our class without a word.

Cant blame her though. It must be hard to see your class performing poorly despite trying so hard to teach them. Are we taking her for granted?

GP lesson was super duber confusing. Ducro just kept coming up with new techniques aiming at helping us to improve. But sadly it just served to make us all more bewildered than ever. I prepared multiple highlighters to underline the supposed four types of sentences but ended up not catching which were which. To be frank, the whole lesson left me baffled, with lots of question marks surrounding my poor head.

(Current image in my mind: a cat-ion with a question mark sign.
Meaning of the image: Mi Lu Mao! A lost cat with four paths to choose from.)

Went to Botak Jones for lunch with gc members again today! The Fish and Chips were damn filling. I ate until my stomach nearly burst! Okay, that was a mere exaggeration but Im positive that I felt a tummy when I touched my stomach! (Main point here is to show how full I am and not the tummy.)

Oh yes. I must say that we are really affected by the Bridge Craze in our class. Its like all our available free time would be spent playing bridgeif there are at least four people around. On the way to Botak Jones, we played bridge in the bus. At Botak Jones area, we played bridge again. Then on the way back to NJ(for cheryl) and to bishan(for me, yihui and nana), we played bridge AGAIN. Wait thats not all. After Cheryl left, Zhen Long came up the bus and we immediately snapped her up to get her to play with us too! We're seriously crazy about it.

Oh, and just to add, I practically won every single game I played today, with the exception of the very last game, which I know we could have won! Ah wells, but it just shows how good my luck is today! Even when my cards aint that good, eventually I still managed to get a good partner and win in the end! Jeez if this kinda luck carries on, I wont ever get tired of bridge mann. Never knew it could be so fun.

Anyway, before I start to dwell on some cheem da dao li about bridge and life again and initiate parallels between those two, I shall hurry up talk about the movie we watched so that I wont keep blabbering about bridge.

WARNING: Possible Spoiler to those who hasnt watched the show and want to

Name of Movie: Hansel and Gretel
Type: Thriller cum horror
Rating: 3.5/5

Why you should watch the show:
It makes use of human fear of getting lost to come up with this plot. When you are lost in the woods, feeling all tired, scared and lonely, you'll just have no choice but to enter the house even if you know clearly that there is something wrong. And it tugs on your heartstring when you see how those kids have suffered when they were so called "alive". But ever since they killed the guy who tortured them, they were stuck under this curse of staying as kids for ever and being unable to leave the house where they can have anything they wished for. The plot is pretty good too. I personally love the ending the most. It was so heartwarming to see the kids finally learning that loving someone doesnt mean tying them to you, but rather letting go of them so that they can find their own happiness. If I were just a little more sentimental, I would have cried already at the end.

Why you shouldnt watch the show:
At some parts, the show can be rather slow moving and it gets a little boring to keep seeing the main character try to leave then keep arriving back at the house again. Also, you want to know the story behind it but they're just not showing it to you quick enough. Its like tying a hotdog in front of a dog with a fishing pole and no matter how you run for it you cant eat it until your owner takes it down for you to eat. Very frustrating.

But in the end when everything comes to light the show just falls neatly into place and most of your questions would then be answered.

Speaking about shows, I've finally encountered another show which I think has the potental to equal that of My Lucky Star.

HEAVEN'S COIN.

Okay, im still in the early stages so I cant make the comparison right now, but imagine getting addicted to the show right from the very first episode! Im entranced by the beauty of the plot. A deaf and mute girl trying to win back the affection of her beloved who lost his memory? Score one! A deaf and mute girl who is also pretty and adorable? Score two! Not bad looking main char who plays Light in Deathnote? Score three! Home run!!

Right. That was lame.

Anyway, I think my sister is taking revenge on me. I previously came up with this system of having a flexible timeslot of "disturb my sister" period whenever I feel bored or down or in a mood to poke and irritate someone. So all of a sudden she began to have her own timeslot for disturbing me too! Still remember the day when she can to stand by my table and was eating her banana when she started waving madly at me and singing bananas in pyjamas! Crazy.

But okay, Im like the pot calling the kettle black since I do this kinda things all the time to her too! Must be the genes. It really runs in the family:)

Alrights. Getting rather tired. Need to prepare myself to wake up early tomorrow so that I cant secretly watch Heaven's Coin without my parents knowing! Hahaha...

OFF.

2008-04-24T20:04:00.000+08:00

Im DEAD.

Seriously. Why?

Reasons:
1) I have an econs test tomorrow.
2) We're tested from chapter 6 to 10
3) I have never even started reading chapter 10 once before.
4) Im still at chap 7
5) I studied chap 5 yesterday thinking it was tested
6) Not only do I have an Econs test tomorrow, I also have a maths test
7) We are tested on Vectors.
8) I cant recall a single freaking shit about vector. Whatever dot product cross product I just dont know!
9) We are also tested on bionom, poisson as well as normal distribution.
10) I haven started studying for a single maths chap tested.
11) Finally, IM STILL WASTING MY TIME HERE BLOGGING!!!

Dumb right. Unfortunately, I've recently discovered a terrible new trait that has evolved from me over time. STM! So I'm afraid that if I don't put all these memories into words right now, the past few day's happenings will just roll around from me like a penny. Or a coin.

(PS: Just in case there are people who are not good at short forms, STM means Short Term Memory)

Bridge is becoming a more and more frequent part of my life. For the past 2 days consecutively I've been playing it. And the good thing is, Im not the only one addicted to it! Addiction is DA BEST when shared with a couple of good ol friends! The more I play it, the more I see the link it has to real life. Or rather, the difference it has from real life.

For example, in bridge you can sort of guess what the person is thinking from the cards they throw and whether they help you or not. But in real life, its just not possible. Humans are so bloody complicated, what they do may not have any indication of what they think at all. I should know that pretty well. Sometimes that act of nonchalance just appears as a shield even though I really do want to care about things in general. But its that fear that caring would hurt yourself more that I just decided to build up a wall around myself. Let selective people in.

Its like a selectively permeable membrane. Except that its not true that I let in all those who I want to let in. Some people, no matter how much I want them to diffuse through that membrane, I just cant seem to let them through. Cant seem to have the courage to. Then again, I've read somewhere that "walls are built not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break through the wall". Oh wells. Those who care, you're welcome to break through this semi-permeable membrane!

I've finally understood that not all sayings are true. Surely, after yesterday's encounter, Im positive that the grass on the other side is NOT necessarily greener. Went with the whole GC group to the humanities symposium at VJ yesterday. I was expecting to be led into a super nice conference room, with air condition on at FULL BLAST. So being ks and all, I even brought along a jacket.

Turns out that me and my jacket are not meant to be. I'd just die if I actually put on my jacket. You see, instead of whatever I've been dreaming of, they brought us to this small LT which was so horribly stuffy. At first I thought that the air con was not switched on. So never mind, when they turn it on, it'll start to get freezing cold and me and my jacket would be reunited once again. So much for my imagination.

After a long long time, the air was still warm, stuffy. And when they finally brought in standing fans, I just knew that the air con has probably died. So my love for my jacket died as well. After vigorously fanning myself with the booklet they provided, we all decided that enough was enough! If they treat us guests like that(make us sweat like cows), it would be justified for us to leave at break. And so we left. Good decision I must say. Although its not as if we had a plethora of choices anyway. There were only two.

1) Stay in the incinerator-like LT and get myself toasted til golden brown(I wouldnt mind the tan though)

2) Leave the terribly hot place for a gasp of cool air as well as catch a nice air conditioned bus home.

Guess what we chose? Zero points for the correct answer-Its so damn obvious. Pack our bags and leave of course!

Oh wells, at least NJ will never torture guests like that. They torture us, Im sure, but we're their students and there is nothing we can do about it. But hey, we come all the way across the Singapore island to this remote area of VJ lugging our bags along and they just chuck us in this warm and stuffy LT like that? Oh wells, I really have no idea what to say about their hosting skills.

Alright so as to ensure that my blogging time has been at least a little productive, Im going to spam econs knowledge here. Im now at the topic of Inflation, which means a sustained and inordinate rise in the general level of price. And there are two types of causes for Inflation, demand-pull and cost push inflation. For dd-pull, its like for example my mom brings home a chicken pie. Its the maximum number that she can buy already, with the amount of money she has(You can infer that she is poor. Either that or she spent her money on something else! Tsk Tsk)

Anyway, that means the economy is at full employment. So both me and my sister are hungry and we want to eat it. My mom decides to sell it to us. Since there are two of us demanding for one curry puff, or did I say chicken pie? Yeah, so my mom decides to jack up the price. Instead of selling it to us at $1 she decides to sell at $20 so that she can have the money to buy a new handbag.

And there goes the concept--->dd increases but SS is unable to increase further so there is a shortage of goods available to meet the demands, so general price level increases so that only those are are willing and able to purchase the goods can buy it.

Alternatively though, both me and my sister can buy the chicken pie or curry puff for $1 and then divide it between the two of us to share. Each one pay $0.50. As the 881 song goes, "Each person one half, relationships won't sour", so me and my sis shall simply share the chicken pie and nobody needs to care about inflation anyway.

See? Why make things so complicated? Sharing makes the world go round. Sharing makes Inflation go down!

And goodness gracious me! As Im here talking about all these nonsense, an entire hour has just flown by! Gotta cram 4 chaps of econs into my brain in 2 hours! And not to forget 3 Chapters of maths! I can just forget about sleeping tonight.

OFF

2008-04-21T20:41:00.000+08:00

Today is a very chickeny day. Chicken for lunch, fried chicken cutlet and chicken balls for snack as well as oily oven toasted chicken wings for dinner. No wonder my phelgm doesnt clear!

Maths lesson today rocked mann! (I dont mean it literally)

Reason?

Teacher absent and the new relief teacher happened to be some non-scary young guy that is of our age and hold no authority over us. And this guy also happens to be called Jiamin and happens to be a 07S24 maths rep. No wonder we're not scared of him! Well, anw this relief teacher did attempt to flash us the assignment answers-Im not sure if he tried to explain though, since I was playing bridge throughout the remaining of maths lesson.

I seriously think that we(me and rachel that is) are getting more and more addicted to bridge. It went to the extent that we even stayed back just to play bridge! But that was only for a short while since me and Yihui went to Bishan GV to watch Forbidden Kingdom.

Overall I must give it some credit for the funniness of some parts la, but it was quite disappointing on the whole. I really must stop going to watch shows with such high expectations.

Arghhhh a stupid dumb idiotic horrible mosquito just bit my right eyelid and its itching like hell now. Unlike anywhere else, I cant really scratch it!! Thats the worse part, when something itches and you cant scratch it!! Arghhhhh yiwen its all your fault!

I mean, I'll forgive you for not asking your mosquito buddies to leave me alone since you cant possibly deny them of a nice and yummy sweet meal of my blood(since Im such a sweet person myself) but then can you at least direct them to bite at more accessible places>?? Of ALL places it had to be my eye!!!

Urghhhh I cant stand it. Show go on a mosquito hunting spree now. Maybe i'll practise my aiming skills with the vacuum cleaner. Recently I realised that Im pretty good at aiming the vacuum cleaner at flying sandflies around the light and sucking them in so that they wont be so irritating when they keep flying around my house like nobody's business. This is MY house okay? What right do you have to enjoy the warmth of my light bulbs?

And as if intruding isnt bad enough. Those irritating sandflies just HAD to leave their marks by dropping their wings around everywhere!! What's wrong with them mann? Where is their sense of self preservation? Shouldnt they know they without their wings they cant fly, cant leave the place and cant go out to find food? And worse still, cant fly and hover around their beloved light bulbs to gain warmth? Well, if they dont care about their survival, I think Im really justified in my attempt to suck them up into the vacuum cleaner-They will die anyway, so why not quicken it for them?

Why am I so aggitated over sandflies anyway?

Drats its getting closer to my bedtime...gotta go off and be a good girl and sleep early so that I can concentrate tomorrow.

Yeah right. Even if I sleep at 9 I'll still end up falling asleep in lessons anyway.

Please do not ever let my parents see this.

OFF

2008-04-20T19:39:00.000+08:00

I have very irregular blogging habits. I either blog a lot of of a sudden, or not blog at all for a long time.

Tuition today was hilarious. The guys in class were actually discussing aloud about weighing their "thing" with different sizes electronic balances in physics labs during some health check ups. One even said that vernier calipers could be used to measure it! Someone else quipped that those smaller ones can just use micrometre screwgauge! Seriously yellow content. And the guys were all giggling away even under the chiding gaze of Miss phua. Ah, tuition definitely opens my ears to the weird world out there.

Funniness aside, Miss Phua just announced today that we wont be continuing with the other statistics topic after normal distribution but diving straight into revision instead.

Which simply means... Im dead!!!

Reason being:
1) I thought she'd go through in tuition
2)so, I didnt listen in lecture
3) And i didnt listen in tutorials either
4) ANd I didnt do my tutorials
5) AND the topics are linked! I cant do the next topics without knowing the early ones!

Argh.

Looking on the bright side though, at least she covered normal distribution or else I'd sure be dead meat. Seems like I would have to stop indulging in those mini naps from now on.

I was watching the badminton match between Wang lin and Jiang this afternoon with my dad when my sister suddenly tapped me and when i swung round to face her, she was grinning from ear to ear and waving to me with both hands. Speak about weirdness in the family.

I resumed watching the match.

A few seconds later I turned, just to check on her, since I know my sister pretty well and I refused to believe that she just tapped me for the sake of saying hello. Sure enough, she was still standing there, but with this determined expression as her two hands were flung continously towards me, like some kind of witch in the midst of performing a spell.

Turns out that I didnt realise she has been spraying water at me all along with those wet hands of hers.

If you think thats all, you're wrong man. My dear little sister then turned her attention to her next target(now that I've finally noticed what she's doing)-my DAD.

With whatever little water left on her hands now, she repeated her witch-like action on him. After some time though, she still received no response. My dad remained as stony as can be(See? I knew I got my stoning genes from him!). I think my sister ran out of water(steam) and just gave up, returning to her table to do that much dreaded studying for her bio test tomorrow.

It was only after she left that my dad "recovered" from his stoning.

"Psst Psst," He whispered to me loudly(I would hardly call that whispering, but he put his hands to his mouth when he said that, so I inferred that it was in his intention to whisper)

Me: Ya? (Eyes remained glued to the exciting and closely matched duel between the two pro badminton players)

Dad: Very Lame!

Me: Huh? (clueless...)

Dad: She spray water at me! Lame activity! (Dad smiles, looking all smug and expectant. I think he meant it to be funny. Unfortunately, I didnt seem to think so. To humour him a little, all I managed was..)

Me: Uh okay. Is this the finals? (Reverting the topic back to the match)

So we continued watching. I made my dad guess, since his badminton skills very "pro", which one of them would win this set. My dad immediately, without thinking, said, "The black one."

He was, of course, referring not to an indian player but rather Wang Lin donned in black.

Initially, it did look like he was correct, with Wang leading for most of the time. My dad once again gave me that smug "see, Im always correct" look. Then things took a turnabout when Jiang began to catch up and lead, due to the countless numbers of both forced and unforced errors on Wang's part. It was seriously great play mann, but Wang just got stagnant at 13 points and eventually lost.

I snuck at glance at my dad.

And then gestured to the screen with a nod of my head. (Interpretation: Sees? You still say Wang will win?)

My dad laughed. (Interpretation: Sorry lor, guess wrong, but I will guess correctly next time!)

My mom frowned. (Interpretation: What the hell are those two doing?)

My sister howled. (Interpretation: Whyyyyy Whyyyy must I be stuck here studying bio? I cant get anything in!!!)

Oh wells, it certainly was an afternoon of guesswork going on here.

*****

My sister just loves me so much. When I came into the room and sat beside her, she smiled at me ever so sweetly. Unfortunately for her, my emergency radar immediately sensed that something was wrong with her-Was she turning into a vampire? Did she want to entice me to stay so that she could suck up my blood? I straightaway got up and tried to leave.

My worst fears were accounted for. She reached out and grabbed my wrist with a vice-like grip. But instead of sinking her venom sharp teeth into my neck, she merely used her free hand to rummage furiously through her worksheets.

"Wait wait, got maths to ask you!"

Knew it. Turns out that this is not true love, but rather "induced love" for the moment.

Then without warning or whatsoever, the irritating little girl(whose grip was hurting my poor delicate wrists already) gave a pretty loud and piercing shriek.

"Ahhhhhhh! Stupid Sandra Khoo she stole my worksheet!"

*Paused for a second.*

*looks at me*

*I looked at my wrist pointedly*

*She looks at me for a while more(I know im cute but no need to keep staring quite rude... was just about to tell her when...)

*She finally lets go off my hand*

"Alrights you can go" *Looks disappointed and began to fervently pop the apple pieces into her mouth at such a fast pace that I started to worry if she would choked from stuffing all those apple bits into her mouth. No doubt she does have quite a big mouth( You can tell from all that nonsense that pours out of it...its never ending) but nobody's mouth is really big enough to fit a whole apple inside.

******

Jusr came up with a new phrase that shall serve as my motto for the rest of the year.

Flunk your tests but ACE the exams!!!

Yeah mann! I've decided that in order to achieve greatness you have no choice but to sacrifice some things. So, for me, I shall sacrifice scoring all those As for every single test I take and accumulate them on my A Lev Examination instead!

Alright. Its not that great a sacrifice, considering that fact that I do not actually get any As for my tests at all.

But thats beside the point. My point is, failing these tests doesnt matter for now, its the As that I have to work hard for.

Off.

2008-04-19T20:22:00.000+08:00

SPAs are supposed to be relaxing and revitalising, leaving you so refreshed. All the REs. But today's chem SPA is certainly NOT the case. Skill A is definitely harder than all the rest of the skills. 1.5 hours of my precious precious time was totally spent on trying to cram the entire (A) Preliminary Considerations, (B) Procedure, (C) Safety Precautions and (D) Reliability of results into a fixed volume of grey matter.

And the bad thing is, whatever I memorised can only be used to answer one certain format of questions. So if the question that came out was altered in any way, I'd sure be dead meat.

Which was exactly what happened today. They changed the question arghhhhh!!! AND I kena a few seconds of panic attack before just anyhow trying to change whatever I can think of to fit the question. Hope that I manipulated my memorised answer correctly though.

Ah wells. No point discussing it here anymore, since its over.

Anyway, after SPA, I went with yiwen, rachel, kenneth and jason to macs and i tried mac griddles!

Okay, why the exclamation mark I really dunno, since the mac griddles is really nothing special. Sure, its not bread on top but some pan cake thing and it does taste quite nice, but the effect wears off after a while. In fact, it kind of became sickeningly sweet and dry the more I bit into it, so much so that eventually I ate so slow that everyone got tired waiting for me. Rachel said that I looked I like eat until very 辛苦, which really is pretty true.

When I finally did finish my meal at last, everyone looked rather relieved, in my opinion, and kenneth started teaching yiwen and rachel how to play bridge. Then this funny woman came in and chased us out with her funny english. Turns out that according to her, its against the law to play card games inside air conditioned places and her boss wont be happy if he sees us playing, so she asked us to play outside, since its not air conditioned but "very windy and cooling also".

So out we went. Bridge was such a mind stimulating game. I love the guessing part the most, the way how every card placed down reveals a bit about whether the person is your partner or not. After a while both yiwen and rachel were hooked onto the game too! Every game was our supposed "last game" until we finally decided to pack up and leave. I suppose this guessing game is something we play in real life too.

Except that in real life, its a lot harder. Your so called "partner" may never reveal himself/herself and you'd probably guess and guess and guess and still nothing comes out of that guessing. There is no way to reveal anything like how the cards does the work. Wait, maybe there is. The cards are just a methaphor of people's actions? In the game, when your partner helps you to win, its for his or her benefit as well. Just like in real life, when others help you out, perhaps there is only the main intention to benefit themselves through you.

Of course, there is no wrong with this. Nobody is unselfish. It just makes me wonder if anyone these days does things out of their genuine feelings anymore. Even myself. Im unclear of the intention I hold. Whether it is intention or motive. Whats the difference?

I've just googled:
Intention: purpose or attitude toward the effect of one's actions or conduct

Motive:
1.
something that causes a person to act in a certain way, do a certain thing, etc.; incentive.
2.
the goal or object of a person's actions

Im still clueless....

********

I was just talking to my family about playing bridge just now and then I asked my dad why he didnt want to learn it in the afternoon when I taught my mom and my sis, so that we could all play together as a family. My dad was so annoying. He just gave me that "I don't care about bridge just leave me alone to do my own stuffs" look and commented, "Bridge I dun want to learn, but if it's Stamford Bridge then I will play"

My jaw practically fell open. (I think my sister took that as me not knowing what stamford bridge is which prompted her to ask me, "You know what Stamford bridge is or not?" in this irritated tone she never fails to reserve for me. I think its similar to my tone when teaching her maths sometimes. Ah wells, its revenge. I was a little offended to tell the truth. I mean, if you say stuffs like "Estadio Santiago Bernabeu" then ask me whether i know not, i still wont be that offended since yeah thats a real madrid stadium and I hardly know much about the spanish clubs. But stamford bridge? Thats in EPL and its still the stadium of one of the top four clubs leh. Even football noobs know it la. Bleagh)

Oh Im off track. My jaw fell open because of how lame I thought my dad was. Erps. He never fails to come up with stuffs that are really no lame that you have no choice but to laugh at the pure unfunniness of whatever he said.

To end it off, Arsenal won 2-0 against reading!

2008-04-18T17:35:00.000+08:00

Finally friday is here again. Although it doesnt necessarily mark the end of going to school in this week(there is Chem SPA tmr...), Im still glad that it came. At least it gives me a few moments to slow down and breathe(not that my pace has been fast or anything...it just helps me to relax more)

Lessons today practically zoomed by. Even I have no idea why-boring lessons aint supposed to go fast, they're meant to be so slow that you're induced to sleep. Perhaps it went fast because I really did fall asleep. Econs lecture in the hall was the best. I couldnt see the teacher and the teacher couldnt see me. So i had the luxury of catching a hundred winks. Maths lecture was harder to fall asleep but I managed it anyway. Im getting better at this I realised.

I suppose all that sleep in the lectures did me a hell lot of good, since I didnt feel tired during econs at all. Not that it really matters though, me falling asleep and all. Because just the previous day, Ms Lee asked me a question just when I was about to completely doze off. I thought she could see that my mind was really wandering off and thats why she called me to answer her question. So I had no qualms about asking her to repeat her question.

She looked so surprised when I asked that. "Repeat the question ah? I thought you looked so attentive!"

ERPS.

Right. I look attentive when my eyes were gonna shut off any second. Then what do I look like when Im wide awake? Intensely staring at her and her notes? Wouldnt I look like some stalker then? Ah wells, no wonder my sister says that she can never tell when Im sleeping and when Im not. I've perfected the skill of sleeping with my eyes open. Like a goldfish.

Ah wells, Ms lee's statement has clearly proven that I do have an advantage over the rest of the students-I get to sleep without teachers knowing AND they think I look attentive! Yessss GP, here I come! No need to try masking already:)

GP today was all copying non stop again. And chew yan was being as lame as ever. Mr Ducro was commenting on the irony of something related to the gold industry when chewy muttered to me, "Its not the iron industry what...so should be goldy.."

Me: Stun

Me: Laughs!!

Gosh that was so lame. Which reminds me of how when I said I was just kidding, she promptly shot back, Im adulting.

HA. HA. Seriously, just How does she think up of all that?

I wonder what Ducro's reaction would be if he hears that. He did try to find out from us the source of my laughter though, but somehow message didnt get through to him.

After school me and Kejia, having plenty of time to spare before Econs consultation starts, decided to be good souls and escort jessica out of school. When we walked her to the gate, all randomness burst free from us. We made up a mock scenario whereby we own NJ(I wish! then can sell the plot of land for a lot of money!) and everyone around were our guests or something.

The security guards were hired by us-they didnt do such a good job though, letting so many weirdos in without our consent!

Basketballers were paid to play for our entertainment.

Chewyan became Maria our maid-she was so clueless about why we were laughing so much but being such a good sport, she played along with us.

And then I remembered what kejia and jessica were discussing about pulling up the grass from the sythetic field so i decided to try, just to see what happened. Cautiously and sneakily, I walked over to the corner of the field and just pulled up the grass! Truth behold! The whole corner part of the field just got lifted up by me-It was as if the whole field was just a carpet! So cool! I never knew. Thankfully, the field reverted back to its original self after I let go AND there were no witnesses around to testify against me so Im a free man!

Econs consultation was one big joke altogether. Before ms lee came we spotted ms Lim and then we lied to her that we were waiting for her to teach us chem. Ms Lim was so cute. Her eyes just went wide and she kept exclaiming, "where got??" and at the same time helped herself to the snacks on the table. She's just about the cutest teacher ever mann. Then ms lee came and in her haste to leave, ms Lim dropped her phone and she was like, ahhhh my phone!

I think Ms lee thinks we are crazy after the consultation. Especially towards my darling owner. Seriously, she just kept laughing at ms lee. Well it seemed like she was laughing AT her, but wen mei later clarified that she was laughing for no apparent reason, just a laughing fit. Hmmm, isnt that scarier then? Laughing for no reason...No wonder she likes to feed me grass so much, and candles! Omg she's mental.

Anyway, Ms Lee shot yiwen quite a lot of those incredulous and "I think you are weird" looks throughout. The most obvious one was when yiwen started to doodle on my workbook by drawing a smiley face. Then Ms lee was like staring at it in disgust and asking, "What's that?"

******

For a moment yesterday I wondered why Ah Hao in Life Made Simple got so frustrated when she found out that Ah Bin liked her. I was thinking, why was she so unhappy when he confessed his like for her? Shouldnt she be over the moon after wanting to get married for so long? Then her next sentence enlightened me, "Im so ugly why would anyone like me?"

Inferiority.

Yes I suppose I can understand that since its something I face myself too. Its okay for me to like others(they're obviously better than me) but if ppl like ME, I'd probably get all disgusted and think, why on earth would they? And then come up with one hundred and one reasons why its probably a faux, the person is not having a clear mind, its not possible etc... Negative thoughts in short. Which totally isnt good at all, but right now there's no way to change it. I guess acknowledging your own qualities would definitely help, like how ah hao finally decided to accept ah bin.

I need to stop being so pessimistic about myself all the time. But I just cannot bring myself to put me in a good light. I guess this is all part of a learning journey of life. Confidence, confidence, confidence!

******

Adaptability means getting used to something. I think I can get used to things pretty fast, but getting unused to them? Thats the really hard part. Some things are hard to phrase. I'd use an analogy here. Its like how if your mom forces you to eat apple everyday of the week for quite a period of time, you'd just get used to it. But then all of a sudden she just stops giving you apples, or maybe just once or twice a week. Wouldnt you feel empty if you dun get to eat these apples?

My imagination is really getting out of hand here. Gotta stop thinking so much and fabricating false and untrue stories, even if it's just for my own entertainment sake. I need to focus on more important stuffs, like the up and coming A levels just looming around the corner. Gotta stop dwelling on umimportant stuffs.

It may be unimportant, but yet its still important. I dunno, Im confused.

2008-04-16T21:16:00.000+08:00

Monday's PE was a total waste of time, although I must admit that I did have a rather nice time just slacking at the specs stand and chatting with a few of our GC members. While the rest of the class were having their NAPFA with that horrible monster teacher, we were sitting there talking since ours were already over last week. Thank goodness mann! I bet this teacher is way stricter and meaner too.

Seriously she has AP. I mean, what's wrong with helping your friend to hold down the bar for pull ups? And how is pressing it hard to keep it from shaking "helping her to cheat when she can do it without your help"? Its not like when you press metal hard enough it will compress or something. Metal is a solid, and its not even malleable like, I dunno, aluminium? So no matter how hard you press the bar wont go down, and it still wont make it easier for the pull-uper to hit the bar anyway. So teacher, get your facts right before accusing others. But oh yeah, I forgot, thats probably the reason why you're not a science teacher right? Ah wells, one must learn to forgive and forget so teacher, you're forgiven(even though I wasnt the one you scolded so loudly that you reduced her to tears) and I'll just take it that you had a bad day. But teacher, if everyone tried to pass on their bad mood to others, what exactly will the world become? For now the cycle shall stop, because we students know better. We wont pass on our bad mood to others. Keeps your eyes wide open and learn, for as the saying goes, it's never too late to learn.

Tuesday's chem remedial was pretty fun. Me and my owner were practically destroying each other's worksheets with our personal graffiti(is that how you spell it?)

We wrote each other parent's consent form for the most absurd reasons ever. Can you believe it-she asked for permission from my parents to torture me?? By making me eat grass? Sighs. Now you see my misery. Im ill treated by my supposedly kind and sweet owner. Ah wells, the lesson to be learnt here is never to judge a book by its cover. Oh, but apparently we werent being very polite cos we were talking and giggling(snorting by yiwen...) rather loudly in the air conditioned lab where miss lim's voice was more often than not, overshadowed by our noise. I feel so guilty after Sheena mentioned that to me. She's such a nice teacher...and cute and blur.

Which brings me to GP lesson on tuesday too! Our group was the ultimate crappy group. Crap non stop. In a way I think our group is damn fun to be in! Everyone is so funny, unlike the more serious groups. I'd probably die from boredom if I were there. Chew yan and I just kept trying to get the attention of my owner(her bee) aka yiwen and she just kept refusing to entertain us. ah wells....

Went with Sheena to watch Funny Games later on(tuesday still). Just in case I didnt mention it before, I won a pair of tickets to the movie after answering this idiot-proof question correctly. Damn surprised that I won it though. Anyway, i went there not expecting much but they gave us a goodie bag as well as free popcorn and a drink! Damn wasnt expecting that. I was so surprised my jaw just fell open. I guess the free stuffs were the best part of the day. The movie was pretty sucky though. Okay to do some justice, the movie itself wasnt that bad, there were parts that I was entertained and all. Its just that the ending sucks to the core. Oh well, quite a waste of two hours if you ask me.

Oh wells. Today nothing to blog about so....signing offffff

2008-04-13T20:23:00.000+08:00

Once again Sunday is very nearly over. The much dreaded tuition came and went in a flash. Okay, I don't exactly dread tuition. I just find it boring and sian. Revision is not so bad, but I just wish that they would just hurry up and teach us normal distribution and finish this year's syllabus first before revising. Im getting too dependent on my tuition, really. Right now Im totally clueless about how to do normal distribution stuffs, having stoned/daydreamed through out my entire normal dist Lecture and Tutorial. Out of the whole tutorial set I'd probably have attempted only one or two parts of a single question. Damn pathetic. I cant even DO the assignment now. Binom and Poisson wasnt that bad. Sighs.

Before my tuition my mom, dad and I were sitting at the food centre, stoning for a while before my tuition started. Then my dad was in his usual pose again. He cupped his face with both hands and stared blankly ahead. I think its from him where I get my stoning ability from. And I casually commented that he looked like a child when he did that. The reaction was immediate. My dad just sat up straight and smiled sweetly. "See? You all still say Im old!! Im a CHILD!" He sounded so indignant! Still, it was quite funny to hear that from an old man like him, especially when he was beaming from ear to ear at the thought of being like a child again. Ah wells, as my mom said, he must have become so old that he's reverting back to being a child again.

Damn damn damn. there's like so much homework!

And im just sitting here listening to songs.

And emoing.

Although there is absolutely nothing to be sad about.

I mean, right now my life is close to "perfect"

the most perfect my life can ever be now.

Finished napfa, no need to worry bout that anymore...

Got an A for PW so thats a burden off my shoulder too

Had a nice birthday.

Passed my bio for the first time.

Computer has stopped breaking down.

What more can I ask for?

Is it too much to ask for less homework?

Or rather an increase in my homework completion ability. I need info about chem to do my tutorials.

Right now the "chem" section of my grey matter is currently hollow. So im as clueless as can be :( Chem has really got to be my weakest link.

Golly. I wish I could just insert a micro chip with all that organic chem info into my head and go do all that huge mountains of undone tutorials that is just sitting there waiting for me. Impatiently waiting I must add.

Oh wells. I've said my piece.

*Moves back to stoning*

2008-04-11T18:43:00.000+08:00

This week was a relatively good week for me. Monday was my birthday-Im finally 18! As sherf said, Legal 18. Can buy beer and cigarettes now!! And Im off use for duty free stuffs to buy back from airports now! But not like I'd want to buy them though. Im a good girl so no drinking or smoking wahaha.

I was damn surprised that so many people remembered that it was my birthday(including S7C peeps-they were so sweet sending me a "linking" birthday message). Thanks to all those who wished me and gave me a memory on that day. I love all of you guys, 07S24, S7C peeps, Sam, fang, munyee zhenling etc...

Tuesday was a half day so we missed the GP essay test-Hurrah! but that was not forgotten, only postponed. Me, yiwen, cheryl, sheena, mayqi and yihui went to a ktv in Chinatown which charges only $10 and has free flow of drinks and sharksfin! Sadly my voice became rather croaky and I couldnt really sing(not that i could in the first place) Anyway me and yihui both left damn early and we got caught in this heavy rain that soaked the both of us. I felt like my bag was collecting water! At the mrt station was the most hilarious and embarrassing part of the day. Yihui didnt bring her card so after i tapped my card in, I tapped the "going out" side for me and she entered through the wrong side. There were quite loud beepings and we attracted the attention of the control station people. For a moment when one guy left the station, I thought he was going to come after us. But thank goodness he didnt. I don't feel like giving any explanations at that time.

It was only when we entered the mrt that we realised, since I tapped the card in and out already, my card can only be used from the outside and not inside of the mrt station! In the end we decided to just reach out to tap on the other side and try to squeeze through. But when i tried it the alarm sounded and the card didnt work! So I tried again from the inside and it didnt work either! I was thinking, die this time confirm cannot go out already, when yihui decided to try and this time it worked! Although the alarm rang once again. By the time the two of us got out of the station we already attracted a whole lot of stares from the people in the station.

Wednesday was a sian day. Arsenal lost 4-2 to liverpool(or rather liverfool...haha) and my sis was being all smug about it. Oh wells, whatever chance of winning anything this season is dashed.

Thursday was quite sian also la, but the only perk was that I passed my bio test for the first time in my JC history. And because of that Im not down for bio remedial! yessss(for now...I think after the second bio test I'd probably be down for it already...one cannot be two times lucky.)

Today! GP essay was damn sian, I think I wrote out of point again for my essay. Then we were supposed to have chem remedial but everyone was so busy freaking out for PW that we all didnt have the heart to remain in class for remedial so we left for the linkway straight away. Mr Lim took damn long to come with our results la. All of us were stressing out like hell. Then when he finally came he had this i-know-your-results-but-you-don't smug look and then he announced for me to go and get my results, since im first on my list. And then when I walked towards him he gave this pitying look and shook his head sadly at me. Then I knew that it was probably an A or else why would he be so ...i cant describe. Then when I saw the brackets grade it was really an A! But since he acted sad for me I also went along with him, Gave a blank look, and hopefully a disappointed but accepting look. Then afterwards I couldnt help it but gave a whoops! of happiness and started jumping about. PW results just made my day! Our PW group all got A! YEAY...

so we went to Island Creamery to celebrate and talk a lot of crap...

Ah wells... signing off for my sis who has urgent matters to attend to online.

2008-04-03T20:15:00.000+08:00

I realised that I tend to analyse a person's character by observing their actions. And I think its fun. When a person chooses to walk in by the front door, i think: oh, this person likes attention. He wants people to notice him when he enters.

When a person looks down while she walk, i think: Oh, this is one cautious person. One who fears falling or tripping over things on the ground.

and...argh my brain cant function well now. I think its the lack of glucose. Haven have anything to eat for the past 3 hours already. My parents havent returned with my dinner yet! Im dying of hunger and am in an irritable mood now. I feel ready to snap at anyone who comes in my way of food! No wonder they say a hungry man is an angry man. I feel damn grouchy...

Yeay they're back.

But my food is not ready yet:(

You know, food is such an important tool in the lives of a functionable human being. It serves as a form of motivation to spur us through the seemingly endless class after class of lessons. It gives us glucose to keep our brain thinking clearly and properly to smoke up some random answer when a teacher catches you off guard with some hard-to-answer question. It brings a smile to your face when you sniff in the delightful aroma and indulge in the sinfulness of those fat-rich, high cholesterol but LOVELY food. Yummy. Im drooling already just by thinking of them.

The food is being heated up now but i think I could just eat it cold. The opportunity cost having of warm food is having to wait. But then if I eat it cold, I might get a tummy ache since it might not be so clean...ah wells. I cant have the best of both worlds.

I often wonder how does this phrase make any sense: "You cant have your cake and eat it" No matter how I try to see it, I cant understand it. I mean, why cant you have your cake and eat it? If you already have it in your hands, why don't you just bite into it and eat it up? It just doesnt make any sense to me. Wait, or are they trying to say that if you eat up your cake, you wont have any cake left. But if you have a cake to look at, you won't be able to eat it? Hmmm, well if thats the case, just eat half? That way, you'd be able to have your cake, AND eat it :)

Human minds are so complicated...I cant even understand myself...

2008-04-02T19:14:00.000+08:00

Going to school today was almost a total waste of time. We didnt want to listen to the SC candidates talk so we went to our classroom to slack. Jessica was telling me about the show, 我们的饭店, which I watched once only and kept forgetting to tune in on mondays. The storyline wasnt very original though. There is this same plot of Thomas ong's girlfriend not turning up on the day they were supposed to meet and she ended up having some kind of accident where she lost her memory and this doctor who treated her pretended to be her boyfriend. Sounds familiar right?

Then I did a little of chem(which is actually copying the answer from my owner Yiwen!), played a little bridge, some scissors paper stone game and a finger game. And then we got caught by some weirdo council teacher who gave us one huge lecture on how we ought to set a good example to the J1s by being there to see the candidates and stuffs. It was quite funny though, cos through out his whole lecture all of us were ignoring his presence and doing our own stuffs. And then when he wanted one of us to write down everyone's name and nobody bothered to do so until after a while later. I thought our class's AP was quite cool mann:)

After school ended, me mayqi cheryl jessica and sheena went to toa payoh to eat. I dunno why they chose tpy either but I just went along since its so near my house! Anyway we had a nice student meal lunch at pizza hut and then sheena left to meet her friend bianca and i went to slack around with the rest. Then...okay here comes the part I've been waiting and waiting to blog about:

The four of us were walking along the shops and it felt really stuffy and hot and all so jessica suggested we walk outside instead. So we did. And immediately after that we were approached by this woman who kind of caught hold and jessica and called,"Girl! Don't go, wait..!" And jessica stayed, the three of us tried to walk away. They she called out to each of us respectively. I was the last one she called and by the time she called me, I was quite far away already and she had to make me come back. I mean, of course I cant just leave the three of them. So I went back.

And then the woman starting talking a big deal of how we should help the less fortunate and all. (When she said that, the man beside her lifted his arm which was...how to say. It looks like it was amputated or something. We'll just call him a physically handicapped man. Anyway, he lifted his handicapped arm just when she told us to donate and all. It was as if he was helping that woman prove her point about the less fortunate and all) And the thing is, she said this one sentence that evoked my fury to its maximum. "Just donate 2 dollars or something. Im sure to you all 2 dollars is NOTHING."

YEAH RIGHT. If 2 dollars is nothing, why would you want it? Its not as if we students are very rich or something lor. Don't see students and straightaway think we are some kind of money tree, always ready to give away money freely without a care. Cos you're so very wrong. We tried to walk away after that and you know what the woman said?

“算了，让上帝惩罚她们”

OMG. I cant believe she said that! Its like we have a responsibility or obligation to donate to her or something. AND she's not even from any charitable organisation! How are we supposed to know if she's a scam or anything?? urgh. Pissening. She actually CURSED us???

bleagh signing off.

2008-04-01T20:48:00.000+08:00

Went to SN fiesta on saturday. (Notice the lack of an exclamation mark-shows Im not enthusiastic about this, which is quite surprising considering the fact that I havent visit this place of my past for such a very long time already)

Anyway I was quite disappointed that I didnt get to carry out my Fiesta Tradition of visiting the Haunted House!!! (Note the triple exclamation marks. This implies that the author is currently feeling very agitated by something or showing much excitement at the same time.) I specifically set aside $10 just to go to the haunted house and then they told me the queue was too long so they closed it already. What the *keyboard signs, asterisks, hexes, dollar sign...etc* (I've decided to refrain from using crude sayings and stuffs)

But anyway, on the plus side i met up with sam and fangi and then all of those weird but funny stuffs we did in primary school got magically recalled up by us. Its nice reminiscing about the past. I wish I still did such fun and stupid things now. Back to fiesta, it was hot, stuffy and a sauna bath in our own sweat. How nice. I never knew I could sweat so much before. Its not even "beads of perspiration"...its chains of sweat more like it. I was practically pouring with it. Not to mention that NJ uniform totally CANNOT absorb sweat and is not cooling to the least bit!

After Sam left, I hung around with fangi and huichi(is that how you spell her name?) at the void deck watching huichi eat her meesiam. Some how as we talked, (there were a lot of subtle hints by fangi suggesting insulting things regarding my brain and level of intelligence but I chose to neglect them, knowing that she probably doesnt mean it:)) the topics got linked to how pretty girls usually end up with not so good looking guys. NICE! I LIKE LIKE LIKE this theory mann. Because if this theory is true....Muahaha, eyes glint, sparkle and light up...Im gonna get a good looking guy! YEAY... okay Im getting a little too hyped up for no reason. Its not even true... bleagh.

Yesterday was horrid mann. I was trying so hard to get those bio stuffs into my head but they just refuse to do so. Argh. Then my brain told me to go to sleep at 11 and obviously I listened to it. Its no good to disobey such an important part of your body and I cant live without my brain so I HAD to listen to it so that it wont get angry and 离家出走....

In the end, during bio test today I was totally stunned by the RFLP questions. The entire chapter was practically forgotten by me and I didnt even touch that chapter! then it HAD to come out in the ESSAY part of the paper. Guys, next time just ask me which chapter I didnt study and then STUDY that, confirm come out for essay one. The same thing happened last year too. Am I suay or what. Usually I wont study about 2 or 3 chapters and pray it doesnt come out. This time I narrowed it to only one...and it came out. bleagh...

Tomorrow is election day-so no lessons! YEAY. BUT still have to go to school...so Sian..:( waste of time...

okay i think i'd better go off...sistah coming back soon and she needs to use the comp. *exclamation mark, hex, dollar sign, percentage sign...*

2008-03-28T19:27:00.000+08:00

Just came back from watching the show Rule Number One!

Jeez Im really immune to all the scare tactics already. At least in the past when the ghost suddenly pops out I'll still get a little frightened or try to peek through my hands to minimise the sound effects. But today, I just sat straightfaced and unfazed by any of those sudden sounds. The only part that scared me was the part where the supposedly dead girl sat up again and that was only because Sheena, beside me got a shock by her and kinda came crashing into my right arm. I was intently watching the show, knowing that hey this is not true so no reason to be afraid when I thought the ghost from the movie really came to grab me or something.

Felt like a greedy pig mann when I ate the entire sausage bun. It was like double the length of a usual hot dog bun?! My jaw just fell when I saw the size of it. Not only that, I finished half a popcorn combo too! When mayqi, cheryl and jessica cant even finish one! LOL. No wonder im called "Very Pig" in GC.

GP lesson was mundane as per usual. We copied a lot of notes and tried our best to keep awake. I think if I had thicker eyelids like Tom from "Tom and Jerry", I'd wedge a matchstick to keep myself from dozing off. Ducro switched Chewy with Samira today. So chewy got promoted to the front row and Samira got relegated to the back. Thank goodness it wasnt me who got shifted to the back. I'd just go blind from squinting to see the words Ducro wrote on the board. According to Jessica, the last row is the worst cos not only will you go blind from trying to see the tiny words, you have to do a little jiggle dance-a little to the right and a little to the left, all because your view would most probably be blocked by Durco, the OHP, or the second and first row people. Phew. Luckily Im stuck at the front row with a bird's eye view!

Yeay tomorrow is fiesta day!! Argh but there's still SPA to take in the morning. What a wet blanket!

Was chatting with Sheena when I suddenly brought up the topic of Garo, this super cool show I watched so many times several years back. Made me feel like watching it all over again. I tried to get some of my friends to watch it before and some thought it was a lame show, crappish and hilarious. Yes, watching a guy kill Horrors(monsters) after transforming into a golden knight may sound incredulous and dumb, but the love story within the show is really damn sweet. Kouga obviously cares a lot about kaoru and you can see from the ways he keep trying to protect her. But in front of her he acts heck care. And then kaoru is clueless about his affections for her and is so blur and all. Nice right?

Kouga kouga kouga....

Where are you? Haha...

<3

2008-03-26T19:53:00.000+08:00

Just realised that I've lost quite a lot of things over the years. Like for example, Vocabulary. I used to keep so many of them as my pets and whenever I want them they'd just bound into my stretched-out arms for me to embrace. So quick and easy. They come at my command, those sweet dearies. But over the years I think almost half of them escaped or something. I can stretch out my arms wide only to attract blank stares from those pets who used to be so full of initiative. Either they don't wanna hug me back or they just don't know if they should! Looks like I've got a job to do-collect back my lost babies or find new ones as a replacement!

Wah and so fast its wednesday already. I swear these days are just zooming by at 10 million miles per hour or something. But the good thing is, very soon A levels will be OVER! YESSSS. I cant wait. Think about ALL the things I can do! The very thought just caused me to drool mann. *Wipes of the disgusting traces of saliva*

Anyway, Sherf just introduced me to this song by Aska several days back. I think that the song is truly meaningful mann. AND it gets you rather emo too. Like if you sit down in front of your computer just listening to that song and reflecting on your own life etc, you feel...*one million jumbled up feelings*

如果你眼神能够为我片刻的降临
如果你能听到心碎的声音
沉默的守护著你沉默的等奇迹
沉默的让自己像是空气
大家都吃著聊著笑著今晚多开心
最角落里的我笑得多合群
盘底的洋葱像我永远是调味品
偷偷的看著你偷偷的隐藏著自己
如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会发现你会讶异
你是我最压抑最深处的秘密
如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会鼻酸你会流泪
只要你能听到我看到我的全心全意
听你说你和你的他们暧昧的空气
我和我的绝望装得很风趣
我就像一颗洋葱永远是配角戏
多希望能与你有一秒专属的剧情

Im suddenly wondering though, why is it that all the really emo songs has to do with the theme of love? If love causes so much pain and hurt, why is it still love? Isnt loving someone supposed to be a happy and sweet thing? Hmmm. *sees food floating in front of this guy named "Thought"* Ah wells. I guess the pain comes from not being loved back in the same magnitude. If two people like each other, then thank heaven thank earth, they are HAPPY. But if its a sad thing like a one way traffic, awww, then its SAD. Like, so 悲哀。。。

Just went to gc blog and saw the video of those kittens. Awww they're just so adorable! (Like ME!) When I saw them i just wanna go join them in their tumbling about, as well as CAT FIGHT! MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW! *Claws in the air* Where's my owner? :) *xiao bao runs around in circles, got giddy and faints*

Yes, its true that some things never change, but over time I've seen so much change that I wonder just WHAT will remain the same with the passing of time...

2008-03-21T18:36:00.000+08:00

Went to K-box yesterday with 8 of my classmates. It was a spur of the moment decision though. I think we kind of took the whole day deciding what to do before last minute agreeing to k-box unanimously. A major part of my decision came from wanting to hear Jiamin sing. Haha, I was really damn curious bout that and it turns out that, hey, he actually can sing not bad. Just that, um, yeah he sings Jolin's songs and dances along with her at some points of time. Talk about entertainment value yeah?

The room was freaking warm, just like the LTs in our school(with the exception of LT5). At least we've had enough experience in school to not get warmed to death. Since the room was also considered rather big, to accomodate all 9 of us, we extended our "timeline" until an extra half an hour later since the room wasnt in such popular demand i guess. We only left the place at around 7.30. On the journey back I was wondering what to say to my parents when i get back. What excuses to give that I was back so late. Its okay to tell my mom, since she probably wouldnt mind so much, but my dad? No wayy. He'd lament about how i like to spend so much before even coming out to work. Oh wells.

The surprise came when I reached home. No one said a thing. It was as if it was normal for me to be returning home at 8 plus! I was seriously damn shocked. Oh wells. Good thing though-I dont have to lie.

Plants grow towards sunlight. What about humans? do we actually grow towards something, or someone?

2008-03-19T21:12:00.000+08:00

A Life Lie is a story we tell ourselves. A story we believe about our lives that lets us ignore reality & focus on a glorious future.

Got this from a happiness website. I thought it was a really interesting idea. We could choose to live our lives reflecting too much and consumed by all those stuffs we wish we did, could have done and could have achieved OR we could choose to live happy. And to achive that we could come up with a sort of a Life Lie. A lie that shows you living with some great purpose on hand. For example, you could leave your home everyday thinking that you are out on some mission to save the world and whatever sucky job you are doing is the suffering you have to take to be a hero, to help others. I don't think its really a delusion but in fact some kind of game you play with yourself to keep amused and yet live inside a happy bubble.

My new spects had quite a variety of reactions today. Some stated that it looked weird, some said I look like Violet from the Incredibles, some said it fit me very well, some said it made me look smarter and some said it made me look prettier. So, overall I guess the new spects got me not bad comments.

Ah wells. I came online for a PURPOSE. which is to do my cip reflection. But, one and a half hours later, which is now, I STILL haven started!! Because I dunno what to write. The crunch time hasnt arrived yet. Sighs. Okay Im off to ponder over the reflection.

2008-03-18T20:53:00.000+08:00

I just changed my spectacles into this squarish maroon framed one. And I think it looks damn weird. Im waiting for my classmates' reactions tomorrow to see if my worries are founded.

Recently I've been suffering from an inability to fall asleep. I dunno why, but everytime I lie on the bed, I'll just start to think and reflect on what has happened for the whole day and by the time Im done with it, its quite late already and my brain has become more active. bleagh okay just realised need to do bio! OFF even though i have loads more stuffs to say.

2008-03-07T20:12:00.000+08:00

Wahaha today is the last day of school before march holidays but somehow it doesnt feel like it! Jeez, I remember how I used to experience that sense of exhiliaration when last day of school approaches. How I longed for the holidays to come! But hor, today I actually felt a twinge of sadness la. Maybe its the attachment I feel for the class. I guess its a one way thing, since the last time I checked, no one seems to feel sad about going into holidays at all. Instead, they were glad! But then I do appreciate an entire week to rest my poor tired soul:)

Listening to some songs while emoing just now. Its all because of the release of the A levels results la. Dunno why it affected me so much, Im not even the one receiving them. I suppose its because I fear that I would be the one crying again next year. Shivers at the thought.

Mr Ducro was having mood swings again today. I swear he's like some kinda ticking bomb, or landmines as jessica commented. You never know when he's going to blow! One moment he was all calm while he greeted us and the next thing we knew, he got into this long and draggy speech about our attitudes and how we should just leave his class if we come to class with this kinda attitude(what kind I also dunno, either he didnt specify or I forgot. Probably the latter, since I have such short term memory...sighs)

And then when we didnt expect it, he just suddenly yelled out some words to the class. Okay i know this is no laughing matter, but when he boomed, the two people sitting in front actually jumped in their seats! I wouldnt be surprised if they jumped out of it! And then I felt a giggling fit coming. Thank goodness I shifted my concentration to my paper instead. I think I stared at it so hard that I wont be surprised to find that I've burned a hole in it. I wonder what would happen if I just burst out laughing...

"Do you think that this is FUNNY? I tell you, its no laughing matter. Next year at this time when you receive your A levels then you see if you can laugh..."

Probably, this is what he would say...

Hmmm... oh wells, regarding As, I guess I would have to work hard from now on. I've really gotta change that horrible attitude of mine and start to care about my grades. Maybe worrying about them could be my first step out...

2008-03-05T21:33:00.000+08:00

This week is seriously a hectic week, the busiest I've had for a long long time. We have got a test every single day..Monday is maths, tuesday chem, wednesday econs, thursday bio, friday econs again. Yet here I am, coming online to blog when I didnt even do it during my free time.

Perhaps its the mood thing la. Of late I havent exactly been feeling very happy or stuff. The funny thing is, I only feel not so happy when Im at home but not in school! The change is drastic mann. I feel so exuberant in school when Im surrounded by my friends and all. Maybe I got too used to company such that without them I have no mood to be high.

Or maybe... another theory could be that my happiness is just to mask whatever moodiness I have inside and once Im home its all let out?

Anyway, on a happier note, Arsenal actually beat AC Milan at their home ground this morning! And the two goals were pretty last minute too. Whee slightly cheered up by that news.

Oh wells... I found out today that I am down for chem remedial. Quite expected though, so I wasnt surprised by it. Sigh. Too "cant find a word to put here" to continue blogging...

2008-03-01T21:44:00.000+08:00

Hmmm, i came online with the intention to blog. Blog about my life, what happened and my feelings towards certain things. Yet when I am finally here, typing, I realised that I had nothing to say.

Sighs. Or rather I have no idea what to put down on my blog. Its like my "blog filter" is currently not working.

I just realised just now that I study better when Im feeling down than when Im happy. Its like when I was happy, I stare at the lecture notes and nothing goes in. Immediately my mind would be full of the "happy" stuffs. Then just now in the morning, I was feeling rather emo and all and when I stared at my lecture notes, those words actually managed to go in!! I think my brain knows im feeling sad or troubled so it tries to get me to close out the bad and at the same time absorb lecture notes information! Coolios now I know that I have to be sad when i really wanna concentrate on my studies.

Hmmm recently I think Im becoming more easily aggitated and less tolerant of others. I hate the feeling of being forced to do something against my will. There are things that I will do without being instructed to, be it done out of good will or done because I want to. But I just don't want to be instructed to do it specifically. Because then it will seem like I am obeying rather than doing something I want to. In the end I'll just rebel and go against it, like how when my mom keeps telling me to study I get really fed up and either purposely not study or lose my mood to study. It just sucks to the core. Urgh.

Leap years was a rather slow moving movie. In fact one of the only things I like about the show happens to be the music that they aired for the trailers. Unfortunately, during the show I didnt exactly hear much of the music at all. The show turned out to be quite disappointing on the whole. I was actually quite bored by it. I guess its because there isnt really much action in the show. Its not exciting, neither is it fun to watch, nor is it scary to keep me on my toes. In fact, its just sweet but not in the entertaining kind of sweet like in Enchanted. Granted, Wong Lilin is really pretty but eh, Im not paying $6 just to watch her right? Actually to give the film some credit, the idea of using the Leap Year as the basis for their plot is really refreshing and brilliant but the show just lacks something. I cant put my finger on it. Maybe it has got to do with how wong lilin and the guy seems to have no much chemistry. I cant really feel like they are in love leh. Hmmm...oh wells.

Whee Arsenal's playing later and i hope they win! jia you jia you. hahaha.

There are stuffs I really wanna tell you but I don't dare to. I don't want to risk this friendship we already share. What if by telling you so, it just breaks your heart and then things may not be the same again. Sighs. But by not telling you, its actually harming you in the long run. Im at a total loss of what to do. And I hate the way how this is troubling me so.

2008-03-01T21:12:00.000+08:00

ENFP Relationships
ENFPs take their relationships very seriously, but also approach them with a childlike enthusiasm and energy. They seek and demand authenticity and depth in their personal relationships, and will put forth a lot of effort into making things work out. They are warm, considerate, affirming, nurturing, and highly invested in the health of the relationship. They have excellent interpersonal skills, and are able to inspire and motivate others to be the best that they can be. Energetic and effervescent, the ENFP is sometimes smothering in their enthusiasm, but are generally highly valued for their genuine warmth and high ideals.
ENFP Strengths
Most ENFPs will exhibit the following strengths with regards to relationships issues:
Good communication skills
Very perceptive about people's thought and motives
Motivational, inspirational; bring out the best in others
Warmly affectionate and affirming
Fun to be with - lively sense of humor, dramatic, energetic, optimistic
Strive for "win-win" situations
Driven to meet other's needs
Usually loyal and dedicated
ENFP Weaknesses
Most ENFPs will exhibit the following weaknesses with regards to relationship issues:
Tendency to be smothering
Their enthusiasm may lead them to be unrealistic
Uninterested in dealing with "mundane" matters such as cleaning, paying bills, etc.
Hold onto bad relationships long after they've turned bad
Extreme dislike of conflict
Extreme dislike of criticism
Don't pay attention to their own needs
Constant quest for the perfect relationship may make them change relationships frequently
May become bored easily
Have difficulty scolding or punishing others
ENFPs as Lovers
"To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before." -- Rollo May
ENFPs make warm, considerate, passionate partners who are generally willing, eager, and able to do whatever it takes to make The Relationship a positive place to be. They are enthusiastic, idealistic, focused on other people's feelings, and very flexible. These attributes combine to make them especially interested in positive personal relationships, and also makes them very able to promote strong relationships in fun and creative ways. ENFPs take their commitments very seriously, and are generally deeply loyal and faithful to their partners.
There are a couple of difficult relationship areas for the ENFP. The first problem is that many ENFPs have a problem leaving bad relationships. They tend to internalize any problems and take them on their own shoulders, believing that the success or failure of the relationship is their own responsibility. As perfectionists, they don't like to admit defeat, and will stick with bad situations long after they should have left. When they do leave the relationship, they will believe that the failure was their fault, and that there was surely something they could have done to save the relationship.
On the entirely other end of the spectrum, many ENFPs have a difficult time staying focused and following things through to completion. If they have not focused on their ability to follow through, they may have problems staying in dedicated, monogamous relationships. They are so in tune with all of the exciting possibilities of what could be, that they will always fantasize about a greener pasture out there somewhere. If they are not paired with a partner who enjoys new experiences, or who shares their idealistic enthusiasm, the ENFP may become bored. The ENFP who is bored and who is not focused will be very unhappy, and will eventually "leave" the relationship if the problem is not addressed.
Since relationships are central to the ENFP's life, they will be very "hands on" and involved with their intimate relationships. They may be in the habit of constantly asking their partner how they're doing, what they're feeling, etc. This behavior may be a bit smothering, but it also supports a strong awareness of the health (or illness) of the relationship.
Sexually, The ENFP is creative, perfectionistic, playful and affectionate. Their rich fantasy world makes them fun and creative lovers, who usually have new ideas up their sleeves. They whole-heartedly embrace the opportunity for closeness with their mates, believing sexual intimacy to be a positive, fun way to express how much you love each other.
The ENFP needs to be given positive assurance and affirmation. More than one ENFP has been known to "go fishing" for compliments. They like to hear from their significant others that they are loved and valued, and are willing and eager to return the favor. They enjoy lavishing love and affection on their mates, and are creative and energetic in their efforts to please. The ENFP gets a lot of their personal satisfaction from observing the happiness of others, and so is generally determined to please and serve their partners.
A problem area for ENFPs in relationships is their dislike of conflict and sensitivity to criticism. They are perfectionists who believe that any form of criticism is a stab at their character, which is very difficult for them to take. Conflict situations are sources of extreme stress to the ENFP. They have a tendency to brush issues under the rug rather than confront them head-on, if there is likely to be a conflict. They are also prone to "give in" easily in conflict situations, just to end the conflict. They might agree to something which goes against their values just to end the uncomfortable situation. In such cases, the problem is extended and will return at a later time. The ENFP needs to realize that conflict situations are not the end of the world. They are entirely normal, and can be quite helpful for the growth of a relationship. They also need to work on taking criticism for what it is, rather than blowing up any negative comment into an indictment against their entire character.
Generally, the ENFP is a warm and affirming creature who is very interested and able to have an intense, meaningful, close relationship with their mate.
Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, ENFP's natural partner is the INTJ, or the INFJ. ENFP's dominant function of Extraverted Intuition is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Introverted Intuition. How did we arrive at this?
ENFPs as Parents
"You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth...Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable." -- Kahlil Gibran
ENFPs take their parenting role very seriously, but are also very playful. There's a bit of grown-up kid in every ENFP, so they get a lot of fun and enjoyment from playing with their children. However, they consider it essential to pass their strongly-held values and beliefs down to their children, and will strive consistently to create a positive, ideal environment for their children's growth.
The ENFP may exhibit an inconsistency in their roles with their children. At one moment, they might be their child's best friend, laughing and whooping it up, and in the next moment they may appear the stern authoritarian. This inconsistency seems to be a result of a conflict between the ENFP's genuine desire to relate to their children on the children's level, and their compulsion to follow their deeply-felt value system. In other words, the ENFP wants to be their child's friend, but if a value is violated, they will revert to the parental role to make sure their children understand the violation. This inconsistency may be confusing and frustrating for the children.
The children of ENFPs generally feel loved, because the ENFP gives their children plenty of genuine warmth and support. They usually value their children as individuals, allowing them room for growth. The ENFP's enthusiasm and affection may at times seem smothering to their children. This will be especially true for children with strong Thinking or Sensing preferences, who will have a difficult time understanding the effervescence of the ENFP, and will feel at times embarassed by the ENFP's enthusiasm and tendency to display their affection publicly.
The ENFP is able to take care of day-to-day necessities, such as picking children up at the correct times, getting them to softball practice, getting them fed, etc. However, it is a chore for the ENFP and is not a natural strength. The ENFP also has a difficult time disciplining their children, unless a very strongly-held value has been violated.
The rich imagination and creativity of the ENFP parent creates a fun, dynamic and exciting environment for kids. The ENFP's strong value system turns experiences into meaningful lessons for their children. The ENFP parent is valued by their children for their warm, affirming natures, and their fun-loving approach to living.
ENFPs as Friends
ENFPs are warm and sociable people who are keenly in tune with other people's feelings and perspectives. They are energetic and fun to be with. They are very affirming, and get great satisfaction from supporting and lifting up others. They are idealists who seek authenticity in their personal relationships. ENFPs are valued by their peers and confidantes as warm, supportive, giving people.
In the workplace or other casual relationship environments, the ENFP is likely to get along well with almost all other types of people. ENFPs are genuinely interested in people, and are highly perceptive about them, to the point where they're able to understand and relate to all of the personality types with relative ease. They like to see the best in others, and are likely to bring out the best in others. While they are generally accepting of most all people, ENFPs with strong Feeling preferences may have a difficult time understanding people with very strong Thinking preferences who do not respond to the ENFP's enthusiastic warmth. The ENFP will stay open-minded about what they consider a "rejection" by the Thinker, until the situation has repeated itself a few times, in which case the ENFP may shut themselves entirely against the Thinker.
ENFPs may also feel threatened by individuals with strong Judging preferences. With a tendency to take any criticism personally, the ENFP may find themselves irritated or emotional when the Judger expresses a negative opinion, believing somehow that the Judger is expressing disapproval or disappointment in the ENFP.
For close friendships, ENFPs are especially drawn to other iNtuitive Feeling types, and to other Extraverts who are also enthusiastic about life. Like the other iNtuitive Feeling types, the ENFP needs authenticity and depth in their close relationships. They're likely to have friends from all walks of life who they feel close to and care about, but will have only a few very close friends with similar ideals to their own. The ENFP also tends to value the company of iNtuitive Thinkers.

2008-03-01T21:06:00.000+08:00

Portrait of an ENFP - Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving(Extraverted Intuition with Introverted Feeling)
The Inspirer
As an ENFP, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you take things in primarily via your intuition. Your secondary mode is internal, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system.
ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it.
ENFPs have an unusually broad range of skills and talents. They are good at most things which interest them. Project-oriented, they may go through several different careers during their lifetime. To onlookers, the ENFP may seem directionless and without purpose, but ENFPs are actually quite consistent, in that they have a strong sense of values which they live with throughout their lives. Everything that they do must be in line with their values. An ENFP needs to feel that they are living their lives as their true Self, walking in step with what they believe is right. They see meaning in everything, and are on a continuous quest to adapt their lives and values to achieve inner peace. They're constantly aware and somewhat fearful of losing touch with themselves. Since emotional excitement is usually an important part of the ENFP's life, and because they are focused on keeping "centered", the ENFP is usually an intense individual, with highly evolved values.
An ENFP needs to focus on following through with their projects. This can be a problem area for some of these individuals. Unlike other Extraverted types, ENFPs need time alone to center themselves, and make sure they are moving in a direction which is in sync with their values. ENFPs who remain centered will usually be quite successful at their endeavors. Others may fall into the habit of dropping a project when they become excited about a new possibility, and thus they never achieve the great accomplishments which they are capable of achieving.
Most ENFPs have great people skills. They are genuinely warm and interested in people, and place great importance on their inter-personal relationships. ENFPs almost always have a strong need to be liked. Sometimes, especially at a younger age, an ENFP will tend to be "gushy" and insincere, and generally "overdo" in an effort to win acceptance. However, once an ENFP has learned to balance their need to be true to themselves with their need for acceptance, they excel at bringing out the best in others, and are typically well-liked. They have an exceptional ability to intuitively understand a person after a very short period of time, and use their intuition and flexibility to relate to others on their own level.
Because ENFPs live in the world of exciting possibilities, the details of everyday life are seen as trivial drudgery. They place no importance on detailed, maintenance-type tasks, and will frequently remain oblivous to these types of concerns. When they do have to perform these tasks, they do not enjoy themselves. This is a challenging area of life for most ENFPs, and can be frustrating for ENFP's family members.
An ENFP who has "gone wrong" may be quite manipulative - and very good it. The gift of gab which they are blessed with makes it naturally easy for them to get what they want. Most ENFPs will not abuse their abilities, because that would not jive with their value systems.
ENFPs sometimes make serious errors in judgment. They have an amazing ability to intuitively perceive the truth about a person or situation, but when they apply judgment to their perception, they may jump to the wrong conclusions.
ENFPs who have not learned to follow through may have a difficult time remaining happy in marital relationships. Always seeing the possibilities of what could be, they may become bored with what actually is. The strong sense of values will keep many ENFPs dedicated to their relationships. However, ENFPs like a little excitement in their lives, and are best matched with individuals who are comfortable with change and new experiences.
Having an ENFP parent can be a fun-filled experience, but may be stressful at times for children with strong Sensing or Judging tendancies. Such children may see the ENFP parent as inconsistent and difficult to understand, as the children are pulled along in the whirlwind life of the ENFP. Sometimes the ENFP will want to be their child's best friend, and at other times they will play the parental authoritarian. But ENFPs are always consistent in their value systems, which they will impress on their children above all else, along with a basic joy of living.
ENFPs are basically happy people. They may become unhappy when they are confined to strict schedules or mundane tasks. Consequently, ENFPs work best in situations where they have a lot of flexibility, and where they can work with people and ideas. Many go into business for themselves. They have the ability to be quite productive with little supervision, as long as they are excited about what they're doing.
Because they are so alert and sensitive, constantly scanning their environments, ENFPs often suffer from muscle tension. They have a strong need to be independent, and resist being controlled or labelled. They need to maintain control over themselves, but they do not believe in controlling others. Their dislike of dependence and suppression extends to others as well as to themselves.
ENFPs are charming, ingenuous, risk-taking, sensitive, people-oriented individuals with capabilities ranging across a broad spectrum. They have many gifts which they will use to fulfill themselves and those near them, if they are able to remain centered and master the ability of following through.

http://www.personalitypage.com/ENFP.html

2008-02-26T20:16:00.001+08:00

Okay i seriously havent been blogging for AGES.

Right now there are too many things going through my mind now and i hope I wont forget to write down anything that is of importance.

First thing to blog about-The setting up of the very first official and exclusive Gossip Club within 07S24!! And today happens to be the one week aniversary of the setting up of GC!

I think that seems to be the most happening thing in my life now. At first, I think we merely toyed with the idea of making it into a real club and pretended to come up with ideas to make the club more real. Then, i thinks its because the members are damn enthu, we just adopted all those weird but fun ideas and GC became almost official.

So, currently we have 8 memebers! And here's a brief mention of who they are:

EXCO:

Mayqi (President aka Pig)
Myself (Vice president aka Very Pig)
Cheryl (Treasurer aka Toot)
Kejia (Secretary aka Siao)

Members:
Yiwen (VIM-Very important/irritating/intellectually challenged Member)
Jessica (Member aka Silent Killer 1 (SK1))
Sheena (Member aka Order Taker)
Yihui (Member aka Money Tree)

And we have a club green hair tie, club sock, club badge, club blog, club email as well as a club fund! Every week we pay $0.50 and after As we'll go out and have a big meal with the money! Hahaha.

Oh and one more thing that happened was the night hike. We hiked from macritchie all the way to bukit gombak, around there. Omg that was indeed tiring mann.

Hmmm i actually wanted to blog more but am currently a little too amused at the moment so shall stop for now. After this very rare update of mine. Hmmmm WHY cant my camera take photos now?? Argh.

2008-01-31T19:29:00.000+08:00

Went for that survey thing on tuesday and they gave us $60 for just sitting down there and talking and providing ideas and all. I thought the whole process was quite cool actually. There were surveillance cameras, and a voice recorder to tape down everything we do and say. There's even a one way glass where our interviewer's colleagues were observing us from. Hmmm, talk about a lack of privacy mann.

Today's PE was challenging, for me. We were made to sprint one round 4 times with only a minute or 2 of rest in between. At the end of it I really felt like dying le. But I think today's one was not as bad as monday's la. Hmmm maybe i've become more used to it?

Stayed back in school for a while to teach Sherf some maths. Some time into teaching her I just started laughing all of a sudden. Must have been hit by a laughing bug. As usual, it felt really REALLY good to just keep laughing away for no rhyme or reason. I think laughing just lightens my mood. I must keep in mind to laugh more:)

Off.

2008-01-28T19:51:00.000+08:00

I've been sleeping a lot lately, taking afternoon naps as well as trying to go to bed earlier all in a bid to make myself more energetic the next day so that I can concentrate concentrate concentrate in school. Sadly, its just not working. I feel more tired than ever! Damn. What went wrong in that plan of mine?

Yesterday's fundraising was tiring but rewarding. Our group which consisted of me, sheena and wei xiao went knocking on every door for 2 blocks of flats to ask for donations. Some were really generous in their donations giving as much as $10 at one go. It was really heartwarming to see that. Through this experience, I once again realised how difficult it is to get people to donate money to you. At the end of it, I made a mental resolution to donate whenever I see people asking for donations. It's really no easy job. There were many who were doubtful of us and they feared that we would be cheating them of their money. I think yesterday we got to know the people in TM3 better and Wan ling didnt seem to be as dao as I thought she would be.=)

Liyi was super enthu about her fac Apollo. Reminded me of how pro Ares I was last time. I had to leave early due to tuition and I almost dozed off a couple of times during the tuition. Too tired to concentrate after walking and talking so much. But I guess this is no where as tiring as the Make A Wish CIP thing. That was way worse. I think that time we knocked our way through at least 4 HDB flats.

Hmmm. PE today was horrid. I felt alright during the warm up rounds but once it came to sprinting, I found that my lungs were almost bursting from the lack of air just halfway into each round. Im amazed that I even managed to complete all those 3 sprinting rounds without just collapsing. The conditional stuffs were just as tough. We really worked our thigh and arm muscles to its limits.

Im dreading thursday's PE lesson mann.

Off.

2008-01-26T20:42:00.000+08:00

Yessssss....Im so so so happy that my computer has been fixed at last. Cure of its illness by saviour Technician Steven!

Today's Chingay talk was more or less like last week's-boring but informative. Im not sure if i managed to retain any of the info given. RJ's LT 1 was horribly cold. Im glad I decided to bring my jacket even though I didnt feel cold at all last week. I sat next to the HC J1 girl and then I started asking her about her Os.

O levels is really a scary thing. Anything can happen. When I heard her say that she didnt do very well, my heart just sank. And then when the words: 8 points came out of her mouth I was overwhelmed with emotions. Suddenly I was back to the past again, reliving all that painful memories. Sigh. I didnt know what to say to her and I just kept reassuring her, like all the people had done for me, that she would definitely be successful in her appeal back to hc. Im not sure if she'd end up like me, but I definitely hope that she'll get back in and not suffer the same fate as me. What I've been through(although not as bad as some others), I wouldnt like anyone else to experience the same thing.

Mr Z recently told us about Bruce Lee. About how his favourite words were: Be like water...

Because water is formless. It can take any form. You add water to the kettle, the water takes the form of the kettle. So versatile and flexible. Sighs. I wish I could be like that. I wish I could adapt so well to anything new given to me. Perhaps this way I could be happier, a perfectly brainwashed pro-NJ student instead of longing to be on the grass over the other side all the time. (Of course, I've long come to terms about this, dun be mistaken)

I look forward to GC or contact every week. Mr Z's classes are always interesting in their own ways. There is always food for thought after these sessions. Something worthy for us to ponder over when we go home. I feel like we're just so lucky to get an ST who shares his true feelings with us and not just be so politically correct at all times, saying the right stuffs and doing the right things. Maybe this is god's way of teaching me through the experience of someone who has been through so much in life.

I just had a mini family outing to the lower pierce reservoir. I think its the first time I've walked there in the dark. My dad met some old friend of his and he stopped to chat. I guess my sister and I are both impatient people so we continued walking forward. I started to tell her some NJ ghost stories and I must admit that the atmosphere was quite nice for it. Then later my mom commented on how sad the place felt in the night. And i realised that its true. There is this pavilion that seemed to be floating in the middle of the reservoir, looking so lonely and miserable. It was practically the only thing with light over there, other then the lamp posts. Somehow the dimness of the pavilion's lighting just gives out this sad aura. And the first thing I imagined was this lady in flowing red dress standing in the pavilion, leaning against the railings and gazing sadly at the water. Oh, and this lady has long hair too. Of course. Long hair adds to the effects.

hmmmm. Oh shikes. Im forgetting my main reason for coming online! Research on cloning!

off

2008-01-25T18:10:00.000+08:00

Once again Im blogging irregularly, but this time its mainly because of my computer. Something is horribly wrong with it and it takes me about an hour or more to even get it switched on!

Im pissed with it.

O levels results was released yesterday. I heard that St nicks fared quite well. Just that none of the top scorers came from our school.

Tomorrow is the chingay training again. Im a little sian of going.

Right now im typing in quick short sentences. Im afraid my computer may hang anytime. So... no point typing too much in case I'll just lose everything I've typed.

Ah wells.

The person is going to fixed my comp later at night. Around 8 plus. Please please please make it well again.

2008-01-21T19:45:00.000+08:00

My junior keeps telling me to blog.

Haha. Okay here goes.

I went for the Chingay thing on Saturday and found out that me, yiwen and sheena got posted to Traffic Management instead of our preferred choice-Crowd Control. The three of us were placed in the same group. I cant help but feel relieved that there were at least them to keep me company, although as yiwen mentioned, I was quite stoned on that day. Couldnt help it though, I really could not get myself to be high. Of all those in my group, only 2 left an impression on me.

Coincidentally they are both girls. The first is Liying, if I remember correctly. She left quite an impression since her looks really reminded me of someone and also because of the fact that she seems really quite blur in the cute way. Oh yes, AND she is from hwa chong! LOL.

The second person is this girl called Wanlin. When we were playing wacko, i thought she seemed like a rather sweet and friendly person. You know those people-instincts that we have? I straight away decided that I like her and we could end up as friends or something. Then later I realised that hey, she isnt really as friendly as I thought. In fact, the way she speaks gives me the impression that she is guarded against strangers and unwilling to open up unless you know her really well. Hmmm, and she reminds me of someone too-Shu Xiang. I still remember in sec 1, she seemed to be rather cold and aloof at the very start too.

Anyway enough about Chingay. The training was boring and the games part was lame.

Wheeeeeeeeee.

Today Angel and Mortal game officially begins! I think my juniors seem to be quite enthu about playing, which is better than me last year. I took like a super long time to get started writing to my mortal. But this time i started to write damn early!

Yeay.

At first I thought my angel was a girl cos of the nice envelope and paper. Then when i read the contents i knew straight away its a guy. Quite expected since my junior class is a physics class and there are more guys than girls.

Chem test today was horrid. Its actually quite simple if you actually study for me. And obviously I didnt. Well, i tried to, but i have no determination:( Gave up after a while.

And my homework is starting to accumulate. Sighs. And Im just letting it accumulate because I don't know how to do....

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh

Off~

2008-01-17T20:48:00.000+08:00

Today is thursday and as usual, Im one of the earliest to reach school, one hour before assembly starts. Spotted Huifang already there and she returned me my econs homework. I think the change in her after graduating from St Nicks is drastic. I don't think I have ever seen her so hardworking before in my four years in SN.

Her reason was that if she got something she didnt deserve, she should fight harder to deserve it. I feel so guilty after that. Its like to me, I take everything for granted. If I get it, I accept. If I don't, I whine and find something or somebody to find fault with and put the blame on. How utterly foolish. Even my not-so-excellent O level results didnt wake me up from this unrealistic daydream that even if I didnt work hard, eventually at the very last minute, I will still succeed.

I really ought to be reflecting on my current lifestyle. When I have nothing to do, I don;t immediately think of making use of my time wisely by revising or stuffs like that. Instead, I go online and just stone about. Munyee is probably right. We'll only learn to appreciate time when we are suffering from the lack of it. Me, on the other hand, have too much time on my hand, thus too little appreciation for it.

During GC today Mr Z was telling us about himself. How he overcame all odds to do damn well in the NUS. At first he used to be some pai kia who smoked and drank etc. Then after he graduated from poly he decided to turn over a new leaf and went to moe to apply for a scholarship. But due to his lack of an A level cert, he didnt get one. So in his first year he worked hard and scored all straight As. Oh my goodness. In uni leh! Thats like damn hard. I really admire him for that. And eventually he got the scholarship.

I nearly died running 5 rounds today. No, actually its more than that. We ran 2 rounds on lane 6 as warm up. Its crazy la. I think I really lack the stamina and determination to continue running.

Oh. And finally we get to play angel and mortal with our junior class. Its weird though, cos we havent even seen them before. Hmmm, I hope my mortal will reply. And I hope my angel is the kind who will actually write to me. Ah wells.

2008-01-16T20:11:00.000+08:00

I thought Bio tutorial today was rather interesting. All the questions Z lim gave us to ponder about.

Somehow Jurassic Park got twined up in our discussion and we began to consider the possibilities of cloning Dinosaurs. According to my classmate, the show started off with some scientist discovering a mosquito well preserved in some kind of a fossil and that mosquito was super old. Old enough to suck the blood of a dinosaur. From there, those scientists started to inject some DNA of the dino blood into birds and when these injected birds lay eggs, it turns out to become dinosaurs.

Mr Z said that who knows, maybe right now there are some scientists trying to revive or clone dinosaurs. Sigh. If that is indeed true...Haven they watched enough of all those science fiction movies to know what they are dealing with?? I don't see how dinosaurs are beneficial to us so there's really no point in getting them back. Seriously. Unless...maybe dinos can become part of the Death Penalty package to deter people from murdering or drug trafficking? That'd sure be a huge enough deterrence. I certainly don't think that anyone fancies being eaten up by some prehistoric creature with all those teeth. Imagine the pain!!

Okay anyway, Im going off my main point. Anyway, we drifted off that discussion to how animals of different species are unable to mate with each other due to i-dunno-what-insert-some-cheem-word differences. Then Kenneth pointed out, "Humans and horses can mate what...(Whole class looks at him appraisingly. Mr Z looks a little...out of sorts...)....They mate already become Centaurs!"

Ahahaha...My whole class laughed. This sparked off an entire whole list of different creatures mating with one another.

"Human and fish?"

MERMAID

hahahaha

"Lion and fish?"

MERLION!

hahahaa

"Human and cow?"

COWBOY!!

hahaha

"Sheep and human?"

shepherd...

....

Okay the last one was a bit lame but we had our fill of laughter. Then lesson proceeded as per normal again.

I ended up sitting next to Jessica because there were no seats left for her already and we had to share table. I realised that these few days I've been sitting beside her quite alot AND I noticed that she's a really really nice person. Her presence is somewhat comforting. (To me la...) She seems to be a person who is able to tolerate silences and there is no need for her to fill every silence with conversation and when you do talk to her, she's actually funny in her own way(I cant describe)

Alright my decrisption did her no justice. Im really no good at words. No wonder my GP tutor seemed to think Im dumb or something. He kept asking me if I was having any difficulties! Okay maybe I was having some, but thats not the point! The point is, he kept asking ME and no one else. Ah wells, maybe the rest of them really had no problems.

I was walking home today after school when I realised how free I was. Everyone has some kind of a permanent CCA they have some commitment to. Sigh. Off to watch The Golden Path.

2008-01-09T21:10:00.000+08:00

Went back to HC yesterday after taking my GP diagnostic test. The structure of the paper was kind of weird and the passage given hardly held my attention for long. Ironically, the passage itself was focused on a scarce commodity of life--Attention. Something which everyone craves but may not necessarily receive. Turns out that Economic terms may end up to be quite useful after all. It helped me to shorten my summary by simply using the two words "opportunity cost". I was quite amused when I found that Mayqi wrote the same thing too! Must be the fact that great minds think alike.

I met Munyee at her class bench and we both sat down and stoned for a moment before we started to prepare the stuffs we wanted to study. In actual fact, neither of us felt like studying at all. As expected, we ended up chatting at the expense of doing some constructive work, all under the pretense of waiting for JieHui to arrive. The class photo which I brought to show Munyee ended up being circulated around by her classmates, who seemed to have some great interest in seeing how Zhili looks like. Apparently, he used to be classmates with Eunice and Eugenia.

I met quite a lot of familiar people who looked surprisingly glad to see me. It was a great feeling, knowing so many people. Its really a refreshing change from my own school, where I only know a miserable handful of people outside of my class. I was rather bemused when Munyee commented that everyone we both knew only said: Hi to me and ignored her. I suppose the reason is quite obvious. Put a spot of grey amidst a sea of brown. Obviously the grey stands out.

Sadly, this "standing out" factor is probably the cause of my sudden mood swing later in the afternoon. Because of my grey uniform, Cheryl and Siew Eng spotted me from afar and walked towards us. I waved and smiled. Cheryl waved back and so did Siew eng, i think. But as they got nearer, i noticed that Siew Eng seemed to be frowning in my direction. In fact, she even looked perplexed. As they approached, the first thing she did was to ask me in this unfriendly tone,"What are you doing here?"

Maybe I was over-reading or over reacting but I thought I could detect a hard edge to her voice. It made me feel like I was so unwelcome in her precious school! Not wanting to mis-interpret her intentions, I smiled and asked as innocently as I could manage, "Why cant I be here?" Now she looked clearly uncomfortable, "Because you're not from here what...Its not your school..."

And I got pissed. Thank goodness for my good anger management or I would have immediately retorted back with some mean remark. Its not the first time already. The first time was just slightly after I got posted to NJ. At that time I was already depressed and miserable enough and yet she had to rub salt onto my wound. She asked me, " What're you doing here? You're still in HC meh...come here so extra..."

Girl, any idea how I felt after that? If anything, your actions are equivalent to telling a suicidal man to just give up and go and die since you're so useless anyway. ... ....Maybe I am wrong about you. Maybe you had good intentions but I totally cant tell. You were smiling for the first time so I thought you didnt mean it. But now i know you probably meant every word you said. You looked so serious when you said it this time. I really don't understand why you had to say those hurting words to me!

Before that I had always thought you were such a sweet and friendly girl. You tarnished that impression. Im not a particularly strong person and harsh words do hurt me a lot. Especially during the first time when I was so down but yet feeling slightly cheered up by the HC people around me, giving me encouragement and support. Yet, you pulled the smile right off my face with just a few sentences. Maybe you're so smart you havent experienced any set backs, but in any case that you do, surely you wouldnt want anyone to say those hurtful words that demoralizes you?

Im sorry if you are actually joking even though you look dead serious, but in this case, don't you think you owe me an apology?It was really insensitive of you.

To look on the bright side of things, I've certainly learnt a valuable lesson from her: Think before you speak. Don't say things that can hurt others since what you say cannot be taken back again. More importantly, learn from your mistakes and don't repeat the same error again.

The above-mentioned incident aside, my overall mood was uplifted and I really enjoyed spending time with my ex-classmates.

2008-01-05T21:52:00.000+08:00

Time passes so horribly fast that before I even know it, Im already 5 days into the new year 2008.

Here's an over-view of 2007 before I continue with the new year's stuffs.

Things I've learnt:

1) A change may not have been a bad thing after all. Getting booted out of hc was a sort of a major set back for me and I had made myself so miserable for the first few months in NJ over it. However, I've come to realise that whatever is taken from you shall be returned in different ways. I got my compensation-my nice, supportive, helpful and encouraging friends in NJ.

Not to mention that at least, when I entered NJ, I was not totally alone. There was still Huifang to accompany me. Thank goodness for that. I simply cannot imagine going to NJ all by myself, knowing that I am all alone to fend for myself....

2) The side effects of procrastination: Too much to study within a short period of time. The one is something that I really MUST change this year or else I'd be seriously DEAD by the time A levels come. Im not sure if I can manage that but Im counting on everyone around me to help out in one way or another and force me to go and study or do homework....*Hint hint to those who read this*

3) Listening in class helps. This is something I've been telling myself ever since Sec 1 and up til now, I haven fully grasped its meaning. Maybe this is THE YEAR for me to learn this finally. I haven exactly slept in any class so far! (Other than the first econs lecture which doesnt count:P) Hurrah for me!

4) Liking/loving a subject helps you to improve. This one is SO true. At the start of the year I had absolutely no interest in Econs and medium interest in Maths. But after entering NJ, I started to develop more interest in those two subjects(no, its not because of NJ that I started becoming more interested...) and the results show! An A for maths promo and a B for econs promo. On the contrary, Bio and chem could hardly hold my attention for more than a few minutes. and results, once again, show... An S for bio and a U for chem. Extreme ends mann.

To sum things up, 2007 has been a relatively great year. I've made so many new friends and I actually began to enjoy going to school every morning and seeing those classmates of mine. But of course, there were a few parts of the year whereby everything seemed bleak and hopeless, but thanks to 07S24 and other supportive friends I overcame it. There were sweet moments, sad moments, happy moments, angry moments.....etc. In chinese, its probably called Suan, Tian, Ku, La. And in 2007, I've seriously experienced all.

Alrights, now to move on to 2008.

First Day of school had been horribly boring. Teachers enter and gave us prep talks. New teachers introduce themselves and start lessons. Last year's teachers came in, asked about our holiday, then proceeded to telling us what a tough year 2008 would be and how hard we would have to work. And then me, yiwen and qiao went for our admin duty at bukit batok. We had to do phone calls and I was having some sort of a cracky and hoarse voice. Its a wonder they actually heard what I was saying at all.

One malay woman I called actually thought that I was going to her house!
Me: Good afternoon, Im calling on behalf of XXX, will you be able to come for this XXX event on XXX date?
Her: Huh? wad?
Me: Um, will you be coming for XXX?
Her: What? You're coming to my house?!!
Me(shocked cos I don't think anything I said sounded like that. Surely no matter how bad my voice sounded, it cant have been that much of a change in words right?): Uh, no...Im not coming to your house.
Her: Then you said you coming to my house? Why're you coming to my house?
Me: No no no, I mean, are you GOING to XXX?
Her: Oh...i see..yes.....

Is it some problem with my grammar or something? Whats the difference between coming and going? Hmmm...

Thursday, on the other hand, was a super interesting and funny day. I perpetually laughed until my cheeks were aching. First amusing station was GP lesson. Our GP class had 6 of S24 people-Me, yiwen, yi ni, jessica, chewy, jason. And we all sat in one row. I was half dreading GP because I got myself so worried about whether our GP tutor would be some super fierce teacher that would make life hell for us. Thank goodness I was so very wrong.

When my gp tutor stepped in, my first impression of him was-TINY. He was relatively short and compactly built and his black specs coupled with a balding head made him look like a character out from a comic book. Example: Lao Fu Zi. This tutor came into the class and the first thing he did was to flash us a wide smile and then he wiped off some sweat of his brow. Then he proceeded to look at the clock. And then back to looking at us. His face had this blur expression as he stared at us almost quizzically.

"what are you all waiting for?"

And that was when we realised that he was waiting for us to greet him.

"Good morning Mr....." We trailed off.

"oh!" He hurriedly toddled to the board and scrawled his name.

After some brief introduction and all those administrative stuffs, he started telling us about J2 life, as usual.

"By the end of term 2, you guys are no longer going to be NJ students. You will be an organism absorbing information with no aim, no nothing except your A levels"

Sounds familiar doesnt it? Reminds me totally of Sec 4 O levels, although I have to admit that, no, I hadnt been absorbing much info then.

Urgh. Try as I might, i still cant put his funniness into words. But in short, yeah, he is a really funny GP tutor and Im really glad we got him. Although I heard from Jason that he gives terribly low marks for essays unless your essay is the really good kind. Hmmm, I guess life is all about giving and taking?

Econs was another interesting lesson. Interactive and amusing. I wish all lessons could be something like that.

After school I went over to HC to collect my 7C class T-shirt. Chatted with cheryl, peijin and jolene for a while before spotting munyee. I almost couldnt recognise her. Then I sat with her and talked for almost one hour before she had to go for her fencing.

Sigh. I have this bad feeling that life's gonna be really hectic and centred around homework from now on. Okay, its no feeling, its fact. Sad sad fact. But this year Im really gonna have to put in effort. Will NOT repeat the mistake of yesteryear. I don't want to cry again.

Alrights. Bed time!! YESSS

:) :)
:) :)
:) :)
:) :) :)
:) :) :)
:) :) :) :) :) :) :)HEE

2007-12-30T17:58:00.000+08:00

OOPS.

Wah this is embarrassing. Okay. My bad. Bhutto is a FEMALE. I didnt realise it until after I blogged... Sigh.

oh manns, 2 more days to school reopening! Waha. Its a scary thought. *Thinks about all that undone homework*

What AM i still doing ONLINE????

okay, been invited to play scrabble by my junior. Shall stay for a little longer. (EXCUSES!)

Scoots off.

Its been 5 days straight that Im doing homework. Wow. AND i haven accomplished much. Damn.

2007-12-28T15:28:00.000+08:00

Whee. Somehow I feel that I must boast about this.

I'VE FINISHED ALL THE FIVE AQ!!

Okay, so I took two days. But its still a feat for me!

Feeling deliriously high now. So accomplished.

So far Im done with bio and GP. 3 more to go-Econs, Chem and maths in the order im gonna do it in. Chances are, by monday with luck and determination I would have finish all of my homework besides maths. Wheee.... For maths I'll just have to suffer the consequences...

Oh, and thats provided I don't continue falling sick. Last night was horrible. I wonder how I even lived through the night. For the first half of the night I was feeling so bloody cold. Shivering in fact. Then suddenly from about 3 am onwards I started feeling super warm. Felt like I was burning even. It was crazy.

My muscles are aching too...sore to the core... Bleagh. Shall relax a bit for now. Continue my homework quest tomorrow!

2007-12-27T22:14:00.000+08:00

I just reread Twilight for the third time or so. Edward is just so perfect. I don't think anyone in this world can ever be so perfect. No wonder Bella feels that she is not good enough.

Speaking about being not good enough, why do I keep having that feeling that Im not good enough for some of you out there? My shortcomings definitely overwhelms whatever qualities I possess. Its just as well. You deserve better.

Latest news: Suicide bomber killed Benazir Bhutto.

Shows how life is just so fragile. Any moment it can be taken away from you just like that. We really need to start appreciating the people around us and not take it for granted that they would be with us forever.

One more thing: I dunno who the hell Bhutto is.

Shows how limited my knowledge is. Another one of my shortcomings? Haha.

Oh, he's a former prime minister? Ah wells. A minute of silence for him.

Im still searching for my fifth article to do. Sighs. I've written 3 so far. A feat for me even though others can finish all five within less than a day. Am I slow or what?

Sheesh. Its dawning on me now! School's reopening! ARGHH

*screams and faints*

*wakes up again to do homework*

....

WHY ARSENAL DRAW??? HUH??? stupid portsmouth.

2007-12-26T22:02:00.000+08:00

Im back from hong kong! Reached home at about 1 plus last night and we slept until 1 plus today. 12 whole hours of sleep to make up for all the loss of sleep we've had there in hong kong. Well, in order for me to remember this trip, i shall now proceed to do a day by day description of the things we did there.

Day 1:Arrived in hong kong airport at around 6 and waited for miscellaneous stuffs to be done for quite some time. During that time, we scrutinised our entire tour group...and got a little disappointed by them. The tour guide, Vincent, took us first to our hotel to drop off our luggages before bringing us to this super cold place whereby we took a boat to lama island for dinner. The journey to the island was an interesting one from my point of view. Firstly, i thought that climbing up steps of a shaky boat was rather exciting. And the higher floor of the boat provided us with a bird's eye view of the surroundings. But it was freaking cold up there. By the time we reached the dock my hands were so cold that i could hardly move it. Dinner was great! The sea food they served us were so fresh and yummy! We ate til we were so super full. On the journey back this time, we realised that all those who were on the upper deck the last time all shifted down to the lower deck(including us). I think its probably due to the cold. By the time we reached our hotel it was fairly late.

Day 2:
Drats, too long ago already i cant remember

Day 3: Disneyland! that was super fun. I think my favourite was autopia. Hmmm, makes me wonder if I can become a good driver in future. The boat ride in adventureland was fun too! Plus loads of others too!

Day 4 & 5: Free and easy shopping.

Haha, there goes my detailed day-to-day description of hongkong. Initially I had fully intended to do so, but enthusiasm decreased after a while so anyone who wants to know, just refer to my sister's blog.

Oh no. School's reopening so bloody soon! I half wish we wouldnt have to return to school although I do want to see my classmates again. It cheers me up that soon I'd be able to hang out with them and goof about with them too.

Urgh. there're actually more stuff i'd want to say but it just doesnt feel right to type it all here. Some things are confusing me up more than im comfortable with.

Anyways, I just watch I am legend on monday with my sister. Will smith is a superb actor mann!! Seriously, the way he acts is so realistic that I almost feel as if Im this lonely spirit watching him surviving all alone in a world that is void of all humans, except him. I almost gave the show 5 stars, but after the intrusion of other survivors besides him, the show isnt really that nice. Somehow Will Smith seemed to be able to carry the show off all by himself.

The past few days I've been watching shows to midnight. Ella Enchanted was really funny! It made me wish that my sister was like Ella, who was granted the gift of obedience. If that is so....woah. YESSSSS I'd finally be able to have her at my beck and call!

Last night's one was Peter Pan. I finally understood why two or three years ago, so many of my classmates were swooning over him. Seriously, this peter pan was totally cute. Especially that lopsided smile of his.

Oh wells. I just attempted to do an AQ for one of my gp articles and I realised that my writing doesnt flow anymore!! There is no more fluidity to my writing and i even have the problem of stringing sentences together and getting my thoughts out in words. Oh gosh! This is scaring me. My science already cannot make it, if I still have to work on my languages im seriously dead.

Mental note to self:
1) Need to read more
2) Need to do homework
3) Need to stop procrastinating
4) Need to gain more knowledge!
5) Need to be nicer to everyone around me(Like Im not already very nice but never mind, there's still room for improvement)
6) Need to do more homework
7) Need to FINISH homework
8) Need to stop thinking about how to escape doing homework
9) Need to stop thinking about how to escape FINISHING homework.
10) Need to stop being lazy
11) Need to.....

zzzzzzz

I think the list will go on forever....

2007-12-10T22:28:00.000+08:00

Oh shikes!! I still haven touched any homework!!!

2007-12-10T20:25:00.000+08:00

Today seemed like a really really long day...

I feel aimless.

2007-12-09T20:57:00.000+08:00

Sigh. Im sure whoever reads this will definitely know what Im about to blog about...

Its over. The camp is over and I'll have to say goodbye to all the kids and the camp leaders until fate plays a part to let us meet again. Thank goodness I still have Sheena in class to talk about the camp to next year. At least whenever I want to think of them, I can bring it up to Sheena.

The kids wrote us quite a lot of letters on friday and I was pretty touched by their gesture. There were quite a few letters written to me with the name of my partner written on it and even though it was quite obvious who these culprits were, the kids claimed incessantly that it was my partner who wrote them to me. On the letter was this poem:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you

How sweet. Even though they penned it under a different name.

A few dirty minded little kids attempted to lift up my partner's shirt to see the colour of his underwear!! And they were, surprisingly, successful.

The concert was quite a success in my opinion and although we didnt win, the best camper came from our class! Ray. The little boy who stayed behind to help when we did a sloppy job in the packing. After the concert both my partner and I received a scolding from miss helda. I felt horribly uncomfortable under that accusing glare of her and was thankful that I was not the only one facing her wrath.

After the whole thing ended, 6 of us camp leaders went to Tampines Mall to watch the golden compass. The show was...hard to describe in one word. It made me want to sleep, it made me sit upright, it made me laugh and it made me bored. Felt like a rollercoaster ride of emotions, including those feelings not induced by the watching of the show itself.

At the end of the day, I felt really sad. No more kids to scold and laugh with, no more partner to bicker with, no more one hour bus rides, no more childish games.... Okay...it's time to start anew and rebuild my life!

Damn...this means....HOMEWORK. Which i havent even started. Even the very thought of homework just makes me weak.

Never mind, at least there is still a hongkong trip to look forward to. Speaking of which, the Service of Chan Brothers is simply horrid. HORRID. I don't think I will ever want to join Chan Brothers for any future tours again. We went there to pay the bills today and the staff there were so unfriendly and blackfaced. When my mom asked the girl a question, she didnt even reply!!! I was shocked at their attitude! And the way that girl spoke. Oh my, she sounded so impatient with us! AND to add to all the bad points, she hardly knew her stuffs! I hoped she sensed my sarcasm when I thanked her after her service. Perhap this is a case of internal diseconomies of scale whereby such a large company like Chan Brothers are unable to control the quality of their service by the workers, hereby resulting in the unhappiness of us customers and no consumer satisfaction. Bleaghhhh.

Okay, maybe I shall go find some homework to do. Have been feeling super guilty for not doing anything.

2007-12-06T21:11:00.000+08:00

I went to watch Enchanted yesterday with Sam and Hui fang. Was pretty hyped up bout it at first, but the rain dimmed my mood.

We almost decided not to go, until Sam realised that her parents would fetch her there. By the time we got round to having dinner, all we could settle for is a pathetic meal from mos burger, standing at a table for survey forms to be filled since there are no more seats in Mos Burger.

Enchanted was hilarious at parts, sweet in just the right dose but yet unrealistic and too fairytale-like. But then again, its a disney show and all about "happily ever after" endings.

Today was a generally uninteresting day since whatever the kids do are so expected that Im no longer amused, or taken by surprise by what they say. I was just hoping that the little girl will turn out to be some stalker of my partner so that there is at least something interesting to see.

Oh, and the world is so full of coincidences. Turn out that cute little Samuel is actually the neighbour of my third aunt!! LOL. Know what this means?? I might still get to see him after the camp is over!! Yeayy...hahahaha

dang. Tomorrow is the real last day of my discovery camp! :( I remember two weeks ago I was still wondering whether I had made the right choice by deciding to go so far to Tao Nan to work. But now, Im really quite glad I chose to do so!

Sighs. All good things have to come to an end.

2007-12-04T20:07:00.000+08:00

Today we went for an outing at seletar reservior again. I tell you, Im really getting sick and tired of that place, though it does bring back memories of the first batch of kids. In fact, I did everything the same as what I did last week. I sat at the same spot, ate at the same spot and stood at the same spot in the tower.

All for the hope of reliving memories.

We finished every experiment in record time today and there were quite a lot of time for the kids to slack around in class. And this extra they used to talk to us. About the usual stuffs...

Kid(to my partner): Do you have a girlfriend?
partner shakes head.
kid: Isnt it that person beside you? (damn, I have no name, just known as "that person beside you..yeah yeah thanks mann...)
Partner shakes head vigorously.
Kid:*Wags finger annoyingly at us* Are you two getting married??
Me, getting quite fed up: Yes we ARE getting married...(background, kid: SEE see? I told you..) BUT not to each other.

Another one of my smart answers. I wonder how many days is it that I can keep coming up with such "smart" answers. And I also wonder how many versions of the above would come out of their mouths in the days to come. Its really getting irritating. Those questions come so often, its not even awkward when they ask anymore. We're totally immune to it.

Today's game time was a total flop. We played Ice and Water as usual, but much unhappiness were present. The girls claimed that the boys were not playing fair, while the boys claimed that the girls were not playing fair. I got so bloody irritated by them that I yelled at them. Finally I understood how people could really cry with angry. I was on a verge of tears while telling them off. Hopefully, no one noticed that.

Later I gathered a small group of kids who didnt want to play catching anymore to play Murderer together with me and my partner. Sadly, although it was such a fun game, the kids didnt really get it. :(

I cant believe that during all the free time we had, I didnt get yan ming to tell me all the ghost stories which occurred in hwa chong! Dang, wasted all those time where I could have unearthed more interesting stories.

As usual, our class's cleaniness was among the lowest. We do need to get the kids to clean up more often.

Damn. There's only 3 days left to work. Why does time pass so fast???? Im already beginning to have a sinking feeling...the feeling of loss. Forget it. These things happen often, I just have to learn to deal with this.

Okay I'll brace myself for tomorrow...

2007-12-03T21:52:00.000+08:00

Today we met with the new batch of kids. Somehow, I don't feel as attached to this group as compared to the first group, although they are quieter and definitely more obedient.

The new batch has more boys than girls. Maybe it plays a part in me feeling less attached to them?

We played the same old game for ice breakers again. The masking tape game with everyone squeezing to remain in the square. I quote from the kids: How does squeezing together like that help us get to know each other? Its so dumb.

I TOTALLY AGREE.

Later on the kids were given a chance to ask as many questions as they want to us, the camp leaders. As predicted, the boyfriend girlfriend question came up quite a few times.Other questions include: Where do you stay? What are your hobbies? Do you own a car? What is your favourite colour?(To which I answered BLUE and my partner said BLACK...and it adds up to be BLUE-BLACK!

A little girl zhen ying seems to be quite attached to me, considering the fact that she constantly wants to partner me even on the first day and loves to hold my hand. Thank goodness her choice of attack(poking in the ribs) is diverted to yan ming instead, since she thinks im too nice to be poked. Haha.

Except for the one time...
ZY: I wanna poke some one....
me: Who do you wanna poke? *glances at partner meaningfully*
ZY: Guess who?
me: Aiya, I no need to guess also know liao...its him la! *nods pointedly at partner*
ZY: *giggles and poke me hard in the rib*
me: *screams*
Yan ming: *sniggers*

Surprisingly this class is super efficient in carrying out experiments and we've completed everything in today's module before even 4 o clock! Which only signifies one thing...more time to play!!!

As expected, the kids wanted to play Ice and Water. Dang. And our teacher came up with a stupid rule including safe zones! And you can be sure that many cheating cases appeared...yan ming got himself surrounded by 3 or 4 little girls throughout the game, all wanting to either poke him or catch him. But according to him, they were "attracted to him like magnets"...

Ah wells, I shant say much bout that daring statement of his...

Today when i came home i received a letter from Kay. She actually wrote me a letter! And not only that, she enclosed a soft toy dog in addition to the one she already gave me that day!! Im so touched by her gesture! And she has made it certain that I would have no excuses not to reply to her as she added several stamps in the letter too. Plus a pending invitation to her bbq as well as her email address, home number and handphone number. She's really such a sweet and dear girl.

I saw Beverly and YuYing today in Sheena's class! Hope they were enjoying themselves...im really missing them after they left...especially Janelle and Wei Tze and all the rest...Damn. Why didnt I take more photos of them????

Alright, since its pretty late now, I shall go to sleep. Dream of the kids. Wake up tomorrow morning to take a bus. Reach Tao Nan and see the new batch of kids again. Hope that I will start to like them more.

zzzzzzz

its really tiring

2007-12-01T16:22:00.000+08:00

Ah, I just remembered that day when we went to catch insects, Yang dingg told me that a certain type of ants which they caught were called "trap-jaw ant". And that kind of got my jaw trapped. A young girl like her knew and I didnt! Im in awe..

Oh yes, and after the crocodile farm visit, each of got got a lovely crocodile teeth necklace!

The Croc farm visit was rather interesting since its the first time I went there and we learnt quite a lot about crocodiles! Their eggs, when incubated at different temperatures, will be male or female crocs respectively! At 31 to 33 degrees or something it'll be females, then higher temps will be males if I remember correctly. Wow. That means that we have the power to decide the gender of the crocs!

Im kind of regretting that I didnt try to carry that baby crocodile in my hands now. Im sure that would be an interesting experience. But never mind though, I could always try again next week since we'd be going there again. This time, it wont be as interesting as the first though:(

Yesterday was one of the latest days ever. We left the place at around 7 plus when the school was all dark and gloomy and menacing. No wonder schools are so scary at night. you'd never know what is lurking behind those shadows and whether there are people or things hidden in those dark classrooms.

Haha, I realised that my blog is totally focused on the kids now.

Random: I wanna watch Enchanted!!!! Damn. Everyone has watched it already and I've nobody to watch with....haiz, how sad. Anyway, i went to cash in my cheque today! Feel slightly richer now although, yeah, im still considered rather broke if you look into my piggy bank. A cheque may be money, but its not cold hard cash. When I looked into my piggy bank, it certainly doesnt look any richer. BUT it makes me feel better when I start spending money...

First I must find some time to shop.

Haha. Okay, im off to my cousin's party soon. She just gave birth to a baby!

2007-11-30T22:28:00.000+08:00

Well well, today is the last day of discovery camp for this week. It seemed almost like a miracle that I had survived so long with a bunch of mischievous kids. I almost had a perfect record of keeping my cool until today where I totally flared up at them. Sad to say, according to others, I didnt sound angry but just louder than usual.

Im so Shi Bai, angry also cannot make myself sound angry. Sighs. Shows that both me and my partner are not cut out to be teachers. I've actually having mixed feelings now. Part of me is glad that one tiring week is finally over and I only have one week left. But the other part...really misses the kids. I will definitely miss their cheeky smiles.

I still remember vividly how wei tze had looked over, then when I stuck my tongue out at him, he smiled so sweetly at me. And when I was in exasperation and all the kids didnt want to listen to me, he raised his voice to get everyone to settle down for me.

And Yixun, even though he bullies me quite often( and he admits liking to bully me..) there are several moments where he tries to stop the others from disturbing me. And when he's being so ultra naughty and Im getting fed up with him, all he has to do is flash me one of his mega watt smiles and my heart will just melt.

Janelle...always so considerate and helpful. She'll always remember that I havent eaten and save some food for me...

And so many others I dun have time to name...They're just so adorable, energetic and full of childhood innocence!

Damn. Though I've been complaining about all the mess and trouble they've given me I think that I cant bear to leave the discovery camp on next friday...*shivers at the very thought of it*

Just when I feel so attached to them they had to leave....:(

Maybe this just teaches us a lesson, people come and go, we just have to remember to cherish every moment with them.

Anyway, back to the kids. Hahaha. Oh my, seriously, kids nowadays are really more "mature" than they ought to be. Everyday I'll be getting questions like, when are you going to get married to yan ming kor kor? Do you like him? And obviously I'll try to explain.

Today Mui Hwee came to me again.
Mui Hwee: Are you sure you don't love that kor kor
Me: Yes, we're just friends
Janelle: See i told you they are FRIENDS!!
Mui Hwee: I don't believe. I still think you are getting married to him next time...
Me: hahahaha, why do you think so?
Mui Hwee: You all two look like boyfriend and girlfriend....
another kid(I cant remember who..): Ya! The way you both walk out of the door...looks like that!
Me:*Sighs in exasperation and amusement* Okay okay, thats not true okay? Now LINE UP IN TWOS!!!!

And thats not all...there're still bits and pieces. Im really in a huge dilema when facing Omar though. He is always so naughty and is running here and there all the time!Once he poured paint all over the table and kept insisting that I have to cut his art work for him and complaining about the other kids all the time. Grudgingly i took his art work to help him cut...

And still feeling quite pissed at him I returned the finished product to him. And then he looked at me with those puppy eyes and said thank you so sweetly that I was wondering what the hell was I angry at him for.

Sighs. These kids. They sure know what can make a leader not get angry with them...

There're just too many funny stuffs they did which I cant remember at the moment. How I wish I could just record down all of such candid moments and store it somewhere in my memory...

Sigh. Alright. Im bracing myself for what is to come for the next week and I do hope that I'll get such loveable kids in my class again...

For the time being, I shall rest...until there is more to report. Adios!

2007-11-27T19:45:00.000+08:00

Just came home after a tiring day at the dvc camp. But despite the hardwork, it was fulfilling to see the kids smile happily at you. Im not sure if I make a good leader though-I seem to be encouraging them to doing naughty stuffs since I always cannot help but be impressed by those naughty things they are doing.

Thank goodness my partner has experience in this before. Kudos to him since it enables us to finish our preparations for the next day in a fairly short amount of time AND this allows us to go home early! YESSSS

Yesterday was actually more tiring than today. I ran a lot more yesterday so i guess less energy was spent today. The kids were awfully mischievous. Vanessa actually wrote: "I am a nerd" on a piece of masking tape and stuck it onto yan ming's shirt! Well, it was partly under my constant egging that she did it though. I guess I kinda missed these childish behaviours. And all that painting activities nearly drove me crazy. They were sooooo messy in their work!

Today we went for an outing at seletar reservior. The bus journey there was really fun. I got the kids to teach me a few tricks with the rubber band. Yixun's mother turned out to be a teacher at hwa chong! LOL and she used to teach my partner! Wow, the world is full of coincidences...

The kids asked me a question today: Why everyone crowd around you and not him. Why he so no fun one, yesterday never play with us, so boring.

And I was thinking, oops. Looks like its my fault, cos I hardly know how to set up anything and so he has to be the one, causing him to be unable to play with the kids, AND being labelled boring. Dang.

Hmmm, okay, even though today wasn't as tiring as yesterday, i still feel rather sleepy. Shall blog again another day.

2007-11-19T17:49:00.000+08:00

These few days have been downright BORING. Im staying at home doing nothing constructive and it doesnt help that my already not so good health is deteriorating from being a couch potato.

To improve my health I did try several ways though.

Firstly, on thursday i went with my dad mom and sis to trek in macritchie. My dad looked insanely happy at the starting point where he announced the time and the target set for us to finish the route. Along the route me and my sister discussed possibilities of the many different ways to die while trekking and how the caucasian boy taking photographs of some fascinating(to him) insects would somehow morph into a monster and gobble us all up.

This trail kind of proved to me how horrible my stamina was since I was sweating like a pig and totally tired out. When we finally reached the ending point, my faced prabably matched that of my dad at the start. I was insanely happy.

Thats not all that I did. I swam as well on saturday. Not as much as i had hoped to thouhg. I merely swam 10 laps. Probably could have swum more if not for the fact that my dear little blur queen sister forgot to bring Her swimming costume along. This forgetfulness of hers caused quite a lot of unhappiness in the car where everyone started blaming each other, leaving me all silent at one corner waiting for the moment when fingers began pointing at me for fault. Just when i thought I had cleared it, due to the silence, my mom suddenly spoke up to me: Its you la! Who ask you never remind her? You know she's like that.....

nag nag nag. Yeah Yeah, eventually it boils down to MY fault too?

Throughout the journey i witnessed the black face of my sister, the stormy face of my dad who stubbornly refuses to turn back to get her swimming costume, and the frustrated face of my mom who was torn between my dad(let her learn from this, Im not going back for her just because of her mistake) and my sis(Just turn back la! Whats wrong? I just forgot what. Urghhh)

And there I was, sitting silently amidst the brewing storm. Or rather, staring at the damages of cyclone Seline.

Thankfully, at the end of the day, everyone became friendly again and we all patched up to become one happy family....for the time being.

I can bet for sure that this week is going to be a really boring one. i just just hope that we can finalise a class gathering? Cos by the time everyone decides to reply to our class blog, I think the holiday would be over already?

I've just read my junior's online newsletter. WOW.

I seriously must applaude you, renyue. For daring to speak up and account for your own actions by bolding writing down your full name. I would never never dare to write such politically incorrect stuffs about the school, teachers or even people I know, for fear of offending them. Yet, there she is, blatantly revealing what she thinks with nothing as a cover(eg, fake name)

So zhai!! Whoever reads my blog must go see this newsletter:

http://eyewitness-news.blogspot.com

Haha.

Alright, its time for watching our daily dosage of movies which my sis borrowed from her friend! :D

2007-11-14T22:52:00.000+08:00

Yeay, came back from my class chalet le!

okay, no yeay that its over liao...Im quite sad its over actually. It was so much fun. Everyone was nice and lame and funny. We played mahjong and cards. We squeezed into 2 single beds(6 ppl).

I cant describe everything in words! Argh. First time in dunno how many days that words have failed me. But one thing I have brought back from this chalet apart from memories is also INJURIES! Dang. From cycling. Which, sadly, i still haven learnt how to cycle! sad sad sad.

Well, once again a picture speaks a thousand words! Thus, whoever wants to see the pictures can go to http://07S7C.blogspot.com/ ! oops off to slp!

2007-11-12T11:01:00.000+08:00

today going to S7C's class chalet!

Despite what everyone says, im STILL feeling rather apprehensive and lots of "what ifs" just keep floating into my mind.Sighs. Wish I wouldnt think so much. I really really hope that I would enjoy myself there, even tho, as the only girl not in S7C there, im actually quite extra.

Dang, somebody banish away these negative thoughts will ya!

okok... one fun thing is-we get to use our sleeping bags! hahahaha....i dunno why, but somehow i just have the fetish for sleeping bags. Perhaps I will make a really happy kumpung kia. :D

Alrights, i've got to go and pack my stuffs since i'll have to leave my house in 1 hrs' time. Dang. Jitters jitters jitters....butterflies in my stomach....

Shall be back on wed...

2007-11-10T17:40:00.000+08:00

It's been a rather eventful week i must say, with 4/5 days out of home. But then again, going out doesnt necessarily means fun and exciting.

We presented Sheena her birthday present on thurs.

Anw, Im kind of sick of saying mundane daily happenings that would bore anyone to death. Thus, the most interesting topic I could come up with right now is a girl. And Im sure anyone who knows me might be able to guess who she is.

SELINE.

My sister...

Yes. Recently she has been actively informing me of who her ideal Korean Prince is. This guy from korea who is in her tuition class. She has continously babbled on about him for several days now. And from a mere korean boy who came to Singapore to study, he has now morphed into a would-be Prince of Korea whereas my sister would be the Queen beside him. LOL. Talk about fairy tales mann.

Yesterday she spoke to a few of my friends online and called them weirdos. Oh well, I wonder if she could fully appreciate the meaning of pot calling the kettle black.

Argh. Must be my mood. Suddenly I cant think of anything interesting to say...

If a picture speaks a thousand words then i really really hope that my computer is able to upload all the photos from my phone as soon as possible..

2007-11-02T15:02:00.000+08:00

Yeay, PW is finally over and Im glad of it.

The OP was quite okay, just that I was so nervous that my hands were shaking like mad, though it wasn;t really that noticeable according to my pw mates. I missed out quite a few lines too, although those were deliberate actions, since I thought I would be short of time. However, it was an unecessary action.

When I first stepped up I was grinning like a lunatic and I found that somehow, my muscles were stuck and my wavering smile just remained intact almost through out the OP. Im thankful that we had such nice audience who kept smiling at me and nodding their heads to show affirmation. And my gp tutor too! Miss Koh was smiling away as if she really enjoyed my presentation! I guess thats what an invigilator has to do.

The Q & A part was not so well done. Although Munyee kind of predicted my question a few days back, I forgot to think about it. I can just smack myself for that, damn.

Anyway, I felt so high after PW, that by the time late afternoon came, I was almost totally drained of energy. We went to Qiao's house to make cheesecake!!

Im a little too lazy to type out all the details, so for more information check out Chewy's blog-http://cyan-says.blogspot.com/ or Sherf's blog-http://sherfiee.livejournal.com/

Today I woke up and I felt like some lost leaf...floating around and not knowing what to do....PW was like some kind of harbour to us and now that we are cut loose, I feel quite aimless. But never mind, I'm sure that I shall be able to find something meaningful to do!

just not homework please...

I just finished watching 3 vcds at one go! whee 2 horror, one suspense thriller...

Wish I could be a director some day!

2007-10-27T20:58:00.000+08:00

Yesterday me, pz, chewy, boon and meimei went to PS. LOL. AND WE MET THIS PERVERT OM THE BUS. Oh my goodness gracious me. He was practically enjoying the whole ride by pretending to be one of us, laughing when we laughed and looking at the person whom we talked about. And he also seems to be talking to himself quite a lot. All of us noticed but feigned ignorance, thinking that we were too sensitive. It was only after the bus ride that we realised we all felt that something was wrong with that man.

Then when we reached PS, the guy left the bus. We all stood up to leave too. Chewy was the first and this man sitting beside that weirdo guy slipped her a piece of paper which said something like: Im robert, call me at blah blah blah.

Crazy.

He appeared again at PS and boon was kind of freaked out by his presence.

Anyway, today I went swimming with Sherf. Wah she's damn crazy. swim 30 LAPS!!!

And at 1.30!!!

Under the hot sun!!

I felt as if I was being baked like some kind of Sweet potato. Except that Im not as yummy as a sweet potato. In such hot weather, the water was deliciously cool although I think I would have become delirious if I had stayed in the water longer. Heat stroke is a very scary thing indeed.

After an incredulously LONG time, I finally got to have my lunch at around 5. Cant believe how famished I was by then. I was surprised that I even had the energy to walk to Sherf's house.

We watched My Wife is a gangster 3! Shuqi is damn zhai!!!

haha, okay, all my energy is spent by now... Damn super tired...and my mood isn;t all that great after all. Sighs.

2007-10-25T23:59:00.000+08:00

Suddenly i feel like blogging a lot.

Today was OP dry run II. Speaking of it makes my blood run cold. I don't see how on earth am I ever gonna up my standards to an exceeding expectations. Maybe it all comes with practise. Or maybe it comes with confidence.

Today we waited super long for mr chee to be done with his group of students. Since Rachel had to go for dance, the 3 of us snug off to one corner of the library to "look at books". In the end, we just chatted, with occasional references to a book on depression. (We all agreed that we are all suffering from depression in one way or another.) Its a wonder how girls can just talk and talk and pass time just like that. Anyway, i think we created quite a disturbance in the library, since when i looked over, the tables closest to us were all cleared out.

Ah wells. My dad and mom went to macritchie today! And they said that they saw lots of squirrels and monkeys! Im sooo jealous...squirrels are just so adorable!

Just finished watching Snow Queen though. I think its really interesting how they link a fairy tale character to humans. Its really sad though. Just like almost all the other korean dramas. The love between bo ra and tae woon is so sweet. It makes me wonder if this kind of things ever really happen in real life. LOL. Maybe it does, but just not to ME, for a couple of reasons:

1) Im definitely no pretty girl. Thus...im sure you know what I mean.
2) I don't live in Korea. No snow to make things look real pretty and stuffs.
3) Im not some rich girl with a lot of character.
4) I...didnt meet some high school guy at the amusement park when I was 14 or something...
5) I....aiya, Singapore's just not the best place for such stuffs to happen.

Yeah.

how sad right.

But you know what this means?

I won't have to die young!!

YESSS

I can continue living more years. HEEHEH

Eh, sekali without such romance I aso die early...choy choy choy!

Dear god, if you happen to know that you are going to take me home early, please at least arrange someone to give me a sweet memory that I will remember, can? Thanks.

And, the guy no need to be too shuai, else it'd be too good to be true :P

Ah, look at the time, no wonder Im talking such gibberish! Alright, Im off to bed!

2007-10-24T11:37:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I went to cut my hair. But in the end, everyone commented that the difference was so minimal that it was as if I had not gone for a haircut at all. Dang. What a waste of my 16 bucks. Nevermind, the next time I cut, I'll cut super short and scare the daylights out of people around me. Yeay.

Oh no. Tomorrow is OP dry run II. I have absolutely no idea how I am going to overcome that fear of public speaking. Its not even considered public speaking, since there are only like, 10 people? Damn Damn Damn. WHY CANT THEY CANCEL PW FOR OUR YEAR? HUH? WHY WHY WHY.

Hmph. Sam just told me that she's going to Spain! Lucky lucky girl. I wanna go too! Haha, but its okay. When we're old enuf, we shall go backpacking in Nepal! Oh, and i heard that there's SNOW in Nepal! Ah...I cant wait to see snow one day.

Maybe i will be seen by some korean director when Im playing with snow and he'll get me to film in some ultra sad korean drama with the word Snow inside.(I realised that got Snow, sure very sad one.) Maybe it'll be called Snow Night! Ye Li de Xue! hmmm nice name. And I'll be starring as the lead actress!!.....well, wad's that word? the carrefar that takes the place of the artise only when the back is being filmed or something?

No wonder I've noticed that sometimes in shows, like Da Chang Jin, when they zoomed in on the hands chopping up stuffs, it has relatively thick and stubby fingers. Then when they show the girl as a whole, some how the fingers have morphed into something elegant and slender. Tsk tsk, thats totally cheating on us audience's feelings.

Oh yes, St Nicks' fiesta is BACK!! my sis has got like 20 tickets to sell? And obviously, her dear superman, no-superwoman, sister is here to help! IS THERE ANYONE WHO WANTS TO BUY? If you dun buy, (hmmm why do you feel a sharp point of the knife pressing against your neck? I wonder why too..) its perfectly okay. Just don't blame me if something undesirable happens to you. It's not my fault. (but my sister's..)

Anyway, the fact is that I went around nicely asking people to buy the tickets from me. All this while i was thinking that it was held sometime in december or something? Dumb me. How long have I been in SN to not know that they wont hold such events in dec?? Its always in MARCH. MARCH MARCH MARCH. NEXT YEAR...

And i only realised it after i asked like, quite a lot of people. Obviously, their reply would be-see first lor. Next year leh.

And my knife in the neck trick is no longer useful, cos they didnt tell me NO.

Bleagh. Nevermind, I have lots of time to sharpen it for next year. *Eyes glint*

yawns. I wanna sleep, even though I've just woken up not long ago. How PIGGY can I be???

zzzzz

2007-10-23T10:53:00.000+08:00

WAH, i feel like cursing. Haha. I went to school for like 5 minutes then left liao.

Waste my time. Could have slept more lor.

Going to cut my hair later. Im a bit apprehensive though. Dunno how it'll turn out to be like. Shivers.

oh wells, anyway, its decided that we'll go to hongkong this yr for our holiday! Hope that our tour group has nice people!! But im kinda sad that its only 5 days. Sighhh.

It's been one day after Judgement day and i feel much better already. Nope, I really shouldnt compare myself with others. Each one of us has our owns strengths and weaknesses and there's no point comparing. Ah, Im enlightened! Okay, so now all that I've got to do is to decide whether or not to drop any subjects. Haiz, I hate making decisions like this lor:(

Bleagh.,.. okay, gotta go PW-ing.

2007-10-22T18:14:00.000+08:00

Oh wells, today is the day where we get back all our results. In other words, it's called Judgement day. My results are as such(according to the order we get back):

GP: 60(58)
Maths:78(76)
Econs:60(61)
Chem:31(33)
Bio:Unsure but overall grade is 43

I was really elated when i saw my first 3 papers. They were really unexpected, especially since I had this awfully bad feeling about Econs when I woke up this morning. In fact, I think my hand was cold and clammy through out the whole day! (Even though Im not sure if me being sick with a sore throat, cough and runny nose has to do with this, but I choose to believe its due to the fear.)

I really ought not to complain, but to tell the truth, Im terribly disappointed in both my sciences. Its not that I didnt expect it. Just that I did work for it, way harder than I ever did for Maths and Econs combined but yet no results are gained. It made me subconsciously feel so inferior that no matter how much effort I put into science, output is definitely lesser than input. Thats really unfair. Perhaps its my study method.

Well, at least what I expected myself to perform in did okay.

Still...if only if only i did better for chem.

And through this I can only conclude that humans are greedy in nature. Nothing is ever good enough for them.

On the whole I must say that Im generally quite pleased with my performance although, yeah, it could have been better:)

Now, back to watching Snow Queen!!

2007-10-18T23:47:00.000+08:00

Some things are not at all what it is made out to be. On the appearance it looks like this. But once you peel off the above layer, you see a totally new image. I've long since heard of this, but never really seen it. Maybe I just haven really been exposed to situations like that.

I've often wondered if the people whom i trust them with my secrets are really credible...but that I'll will never know, unless one day I am proven wrong in my judgement.

Which, obviously i hope not. Argh, suddenly cant help but think bout emo stuffs.

I have loads of questions for you. Questions I don't even know if you can answer, questions I don't know if I even want to know. Some things are best left as it is I guess. Shun qi zi ran bah...

Im just wondering again, why do all good things come to an end? I suppose thats the way it is, if they don't come to an end, we'll never know to appreciate what is good. Which just makes me wanna hum the song....lovers to friends, flames to dust...why do all good things come to an end...

Bleah. Cant think of anything to say liao... And i cant stand my back facing the living room. I feel like my dad's coming to yell at me any time soon. ...

2007-10-13T12:02:00.000+08:00

I realised that I have pretty inconsistent blogging habits. Only blog when I feel like it. And that accounts for the huge intervals.

Last thurs after the sentosa trip, we went to Rachel's house for a movie marathon and lantern festival celebrations. We watched 2 movies-The Exorcist and Just Follow Law. I thought exorcist wasnt really as scary as I had expected it to be, though it was fun to see my classmate's expressions. Especially Peizi, she was totally freaked out, and sheena, she was practically not watching through out. Mei mei and jia min even left the room because they were too scared to watch! Debbie just went to sleep listening to her MP3 and ignored the whole show completely. The basement was really cool with the surround system and all. It made the whole room almost like a private cinema. Wish I had a room like that too.

After exorcist, we went up to have our dinner. Great food there was. And then it was back to movie after eating some mooncakes. Just follow law was a complete contrast with respect to The Exorcist and it lightened up everyone's mood considerably. It was close to 9.30 when we all left the house as a troop.

Games carnival was the next day and I thought it a complete waste of time. Went home at 8 plus though. Shouldnt have gone at all. I could have slept longer. Sheena came to my house and played Arhiman's Prophecy. She and I both agreed that it was a good game.

Lessons have begun as usual and I've kind of lost touch with the schooling life by now. It felt a little weird to be sitting in the classroom or lecture theatres, listening to the lectures and tutorials. And the worse thing was-GOING THROUGH PROMOS ANSWERS.

I was totally FREAKED out. My chem seems bleak and my Bio is totally messed up. The only hope i could ever have is just dear old maths. And even maths, I'm having doubts about it. What if I thought it was okay when it wasnt? I'd be crushed. Yesterday pz mentioned that some ppl like a certain subject only because they are good at it, and they score well. That set me thinking. Was I like that for maths too?

I indignantly said NO, reason being, I liked maths even when I was failing all those lecture tests that aren't really counted. But then again, could it be because I felt that those tests werent a true gauge since they were not counted, and I seemed to treat them lightly. Maybe a true indication would only be observed if I failed my maths promos. (CHOY though, I dun want that to happen)

Yesterday, we decided to go to HC for their open house. I felt okay, until i remembered pz's question yesterday.
Are you nervous?
About wad? PW?
No, going HC tomorrow...
No la! Why should I be nervous? Haha..

That was on thursday. Then Friday came and I started to worry. What if I went back to HC and met insensitive people who asked, wad're you doing back here? Stop being so extra!

Thank goodness I had Chewy, Sherf and Nana to accompany me back there and to assauge my fears. (Sorry to sherf though, i didnt Pei you to NY...I wanted to but then when we got there i'm sure that you and ur frens would have lots to talk about and I would be damn extra...)

HC looked the same as ever, still that cheerfully gloomy place radiating with a sort of serene silence. Since I was wearing my SN pe shirt and shorts, I could go and get their goodie bag. (my sister said that i was very weird, keep going to schools to collect goodie bags. But seriously, that wasnt my main point of going back. I just wanted to see my frens again. And pretend, despite the truth that i'm not, that I am once again part of the school, and roaming that place that I once loved.)

On the overall, it was a pretty okay visit, better than some others. Met quite a few of my 7C classmates and they were rather friendly and warm towards me. They're gonna make a class T-shirt! Cool.

I didnt see a lot of them though. I suppose it must be because we came quite late.

After that I didnt want to go home so me, zhen long bao and munny went to J8 to watch resident's Evil. I didnt want to watch it at first, remembering that my S24 class wanted to watch it together but then it was the only show that we could watch that was not too late.

The show was not bad, but it ended too abruptly, giving me lots of heart attacks along the way due to the superior sound effects.

On the whole, I enjoyed the day tremendously and it kind of lightened up my mood. At least, i think, it showed me that true friends do not face the obstacle of distance. Once the bond is there, its like a stretchable band. It may become thinner when stretched too far, but once the two ends meet, it returns to its original length. And that, I hope, truly describes our friendship.

:D

2007-10-03T22:47:00.000+08:00

Abe's recount of today's Sentosa Trip:

Only one word can describe today-FUN!

The much awaited class outing at sentosa finally came today and at first i was wondering, what on earth are we going to do at sentosa for like one whole day? Im certainly not gonna swim, not without an extra set of clothes and i dun think we can actually play any sport for like so long without any real ball present.

But that i found out in due time. After a nice but messy lunch at subway(where i was the slowest to finish my meal. Not surprisingly, i've converted back to my old ways...), we took the train into sentosa at the rate of 3 dollars for entry 24 hrs...Sherf was pretty excited over it and you could tell by that additional sparkle in her eyes. The whole group of us marched into the train and invaded the entire cabin like a flu virus. I must admit that I myself have never taken a train into Sentosa before. In fact, I don't think i knew that such a train even existed!

At Sentosa, we took a tram to some beach with a funny name...the GYA beach.(reshuffle the word yourself! Ooh and not to mention the few jap words we all came out with-naiyigeshigei?Tokenengshigei!!) There we enjoyed the sun of the beach, pun intended. Not all embraced the warmth of the sun tho-the TAI TAI clan ramained huddled under the shade of the mini pavillion and gossiped among themselves. On the other hand, i felt that it was us KAMPUNG KIA that had the most fun! I shant elaborate much on what occurred during the TAITAI clan gathering but the full account of our KAMPUNG KIA adventures are here as follows:

For the warm ups, we( me tpz qiao yini sherf kejia sheena baby yiwen mayqi jessica...did i miss out anybody?) trudged along the full length of the beach(which was sadly, not that very long...but what can you expect? Singapore also not very big to begin with, much less Sentosa) and feeling the cool water caress our little toes... And before we knew it, we're all done with the beach stroll and stuck with very little idea of what to do.

Later someone(i cant remember who tho) brilliantly suggested that we go into the water to have some fun. Joined by Wan Ling later and we went to the water to cath tiny little fishes. There were some in between breaks where we went to play water coconut(a monkey type of game except in water and using coconut as the ball), captain's ball and to meet mr lim's wife. Sheena was the most unlucky one durong water coconut. The poor girl just kept being targeted by the coconut. First it hit her on the head-thank goodness there's no concussion, then it splashed a great big deal of water on her...and then sea water got into her eyes.. Skipping all the intervals, we KAMPUNG KIA were almost having some kind of outdoor field trip where we waded among shallow waters and captured several species of marine creatures.

Mr lim was pretty knowledgeable about the type of fishes we caught. He seemed to be able to name all of them. And of course, his wife, a pretty Russian babe with model looks, was all proud of him. The species we caught included:
1) File fish, a tiny fish with mini pricks around it, apparently poisonous when it stings you
2) Baby squids which change colour as it skids about the water surface and swims around wildly..those are the easiest to catch, since squids are likened to being BLUR LIKE SOTONG!!
3)Another type of silver fish, small and cute
4)Horseshoe crab! I never thought I'd actually see it but I did! Qiao found it and thought it was dead, but it moved! Such a cute little minature creature with a tiny tail.
Then Mr Lim added another thing to our collection-a crab!! It struggled like mad when caught and seemed really furious when mr lim caught it and turned it upside down to check if its a male of female. To show its wrath, it held on tightly to my dear form teacher's finger, refusing to let go. Our teacher showed no signs of being in pain, perhaps its as we suspected, because his wife was around and he was putting on a brave front? When we placed the crab back into the bottle again, its eyes were moving very frantically and I started to wonder if the crab was muttering some crab curses in crab language at that very moment. Oh, just to add on, we named the crab Pepper. Not a very auspicious name for the crab, i would say, since it reminded me of black pepper crab and made me really tempted to cook it in pepper.

Later during its release, the cunning crab actually faked its own death! Me and tpz were actually feeling a little sad over its "death" since, after being with it for a little while, there's bound to be some feelings for it. Then Jiaming was pretty convinced that it was faking it and truth to behold! When we threw it out, it moved! And started running away-I mean, which crab wouldnt? I'd no sooner go back to the waters than stay with crazy humans who like to poke me.

I hope the crab's smartness only signify one thing-Good luck for our promos! It'd better let us all get promoted and keep our 4 H2s!

As it is pretty late now, i'll just summarise what happened later. We went back to vivo, had dinner, a little shopping and then went back home... Might go into details tmr. But for now, im off to bed. DEAD BEAT!!

2007-09-25T13:21:00.000+08:00

Oh gosh, promo's starting tmr!!!

Die die die...

okay everyone jia yous for promos!!

Im glad it'll be over soon though-in about exactly one week's time. Damn. can anything tell me how to study effectively and efficiently for econs? And how to maximise productivity and make full use of whatever resources I have to become allocatively and productively efficient? (Is that even how you use those terms? beats me ARHHHH)

Me using the computer now gives myself marginal private cost due to the fact that by wasting time here, my opportunity cost is studying!

okok time to do something that has positive externalities in production-STUDY. then will influence my sister to do the same.

So long!

2007-08-31T21:13:00.000+08:00

Teacher's Day today! I wanted to go back to SN but my dear old xiao mei told me last night that got power failure and no school. Then i heard zl say might be because there's a fire?? Hmmmm....

Daddy, happy teacher's day!!

okay, random a bit.

Anw, we were supposed to do some ACES day workout but i thought it made us look really silly. I guess we could have simply stayed and act high and all and had more fun, but the mood wasn't right. So we(me, sherf nana yihui wanling boon) went to this random classroom to decorate teacher's day stuffs and shun bian chat a bit. Through out the whole celebration(we were joined by kejia, yiwen,cheryl, mayqi, jessica, yini....), we stayed in that class room and enjoyed each other's company.

Later on i went over to hwa chong to meet zl, munz and xinhui. realised that I haven been there for ages already. I forgot how windy the canteen was. We waited a terribly terribly looooong time for the bus to town, since almost every bus was packed like sardines. Finally we got there and had lunch in the form of egg and cheese noodle thingy.

Then went to watch Hairspray, but before that we kinda slacked around. Went to this place to sit down and eat a bit and then play cards. Munz commented on how some girl's skirt was so short that we could actually see her underwear from there....hahaa

I thought hairspray was kinda....sian? I dun like to hear them keep singing. hahaha and that main char tracey is...unique. The only perk was that Zac effron is cute. Lol.

yawnsssss tired liao...shall go do some pw stuffs before i retire to bed.

Oh damn. Today no studying is done again!
Urghhhhhhh i really dun see how i can get promoted AND keep my 4 H2s....

2007-08-26T23:02:00.000+08:00

One of the questions they asked were: Describe yourself.

I got stunned. And stumped. Such a simple question. yet, i cant answer it. I had absolutely no idea what to say. At that point of time, only negative words came to my mine. I was shocked at how I had always been seeing myself in the negative light all the time, so much so that I had never stopped to think about what qualities I could actually have. Even if I manage to tell others my qualities, its often said in such a joking and light hearted manner that I never believed it to be true, just something i had made up to entertain others.

I wish I had a little more self confidence in myself. Every time I get scolded, or scoffed at, a part of me shatters. I wonder how long I'll last before my entire soul shatters into a million and one pieces. I also wonder how long I can put up my pretense as a strong and independent person? Sigh. Which is why I never join sports. Not because i think i cannot take the sufferings when you go for trainings. Its because of the fact that coaches scold very terribly. And that is what I really and truly fear. I get so affected by others that I'm surprised I had actually lived all the way until now.

MMMM oh cripes. I can't believe this. I AM STILL BLOGGING WHEN MY PROMOS ARE LIKE ONLY A FEW WEEKS AWAY AND THE STUFFS WHICH I HAVE TO COVER IS ALMOST EQUIVILENT TO O LEVS??

why dun i have any sense of urgency at all????????

I dun even feel worried now.

Can you believe it?

I haven even started...

yet i think there's still a lot of time.

Great.

Please, god, send me a sense of urgency. I don't care what method you use. Best is through...

OMG. god, you heard me? I didnt mean making me feel faint though. Alright alright, I'll go off.

(ps, wish me luck for promos)

2007-08-26T22:39:00.000+08:00

hmmm so fast, sunday liao. there're just so many things to do and so many things left undone...

Friday was open house. it made NJ look like a suspiciously fun place. I had to go for some interact interview. They were so serious it threw me off guard. And after the whole thing, i some what felt my whole self esteem take a huge dip. Sighs. I ought to go for more of such interviews so that i can get used to it when i go for job interviews in future.

2007-08-25T13:14:00.000+08:00

He sauntered into the lecture hall lazily, with his back pack carelessly slung over his right shoulder. Deliberately refusing to look at anyone in the eye and ignoring all greetings extended to him, he carefully made his way to his usual seat. Despite his apparent rudeness, he knew that none of them took offence. After all, they were probably used to his show of aloofness. More importantly, it was him. For as long as he knew, no one got or could stay angry with him. He was all too aware of his god given ability to manipulate other’s feelings and had no qualms about putting them into good use at the right time. As he neared his area of hibernation (lecture time is sleeping time), he noticed a paper fluttering down to the floor. It came from the girl in front.

"Hey!" He called out and bent down instinctively to pick up the fallen object. It was a photograph with a vaguely familiar background. He wondered where he had seen it before. When she gave no sign of having heard him, he sighed and gingerly reached out to tap her on the back.

"Here, you dropped this," he said and stretched out his arm.

2007-08-25T11:32:00.000+08:00

My Social Life in Hogwarts!

Lots of people like you, very few don't. You are nice, understanding, and don't judge people until you know them. You treat everyone fairly and make friends with practically everyone. You are very smart and cunning. You love to laugh. You have many admirers, but don't take notice.

Harry: He is in love with you, but doesn't know what to do. He's not sure if he should ask you out. He gets jealous very easily and doesn't understand how you can be nice to the Slytherins, specifically Malfoy. He wants to be the man of your dreams and hopes that you like him more than a friend.

Ron: Loves you as a friend and nothing more. He thanks you profusely for getting him and Hermione together and like Harry, he doesn't understand how you can be so nice to everyone.

Hermione: She thinks of you as her best gal pal and thanks you for getting her and Ron together. She's glad that you take your studies seriously and thinks you are great. She knows you treat people equally and respects your decisions.

Ginny: She doesn't like you because Harry loves you. She thinks you are great, but is really jealous of you. You two have grown distant, but you have hardly noticed with all the friends you have. Maybe one day you two will be friends again?

Neville: Has a little crush on you because you are the one who helps him with his schoolwork.

Fred and George: They think you are the best person in the world. You always come up with great pranks and laugh at their jokes. They love you and hope that you will always be there for a good prank.

Oliver Wood: Had a crush on you, but the age difference didn't work out right. He knows that you only love him as a friend and accepts it. He still has a crush on you, but has moved on. And that's okay with you.Cedric Diggory: He thinks you're a good person who cares about everyone. You were the one who introduced him to Cho. He's glad you did and left this world with you as one of him close friends.

Cho Chang: She is your actual bestfriend and thanks you for getting her and Cedric together. You are always there for her when she's crying about missing Cedric, and she appreciates it. You two are like sisters and she's grateful that you're her friend.

Lavender Brown: Thinks you are really nice, but doesn't like you because everyone likes you.

Draco Malfoy: He is also in love with you, like Potter. Him and Harry often fight for your affections. Is easily jealous, like Harry, and cares about you very much. He hopes that in the end you and him will be together. You are the only girl he loves and hopes you feel the same. He constantly worries about your safety and would give up everything for you.

Pansy: Hates you. Enough said.

Crabbe and Goyle: Have little crushes on you, but know that Draco would pummel them.

Dumbledore: Thinks you are a great person. Wishes you luck on choosing between Harry and Draco. He knows that you'll be a very good skilled witch in the future.

McGonagall: Also thinks you are a great student who has amazing skills, but worries that it might be very stressful to be as hardworking as you.

Hagrid: You are his favorite girl student because you didn't give up his class and always help him with the creatures. The creatures in the forbidden forest love you too. Odd huh?

Snape: He thinks you are an excellent student, doesn't like or dislike you. He knows you'd end up being a great witch.

Voldemort: Wants you to join him and hopes that you will end up with Malfoy. If you pick Harry, he plans to kill you instead of recruiting you.

Reputation: Girl who likes Draco and Harry.

Gosh this is tremendously funny. And pretty much untrue too, the very smart and cunning and many admirers part. Ah...but i do like the malfoy part though. It sounds so sweet! If only if only something like that really happens... Awwww. But then again, this sort of stuffs usually only happen in stories or movies right? Still, one can always dream...